Best 37 quotes of Yakov Smirnoff on MyQuotes

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

I fed my ego, but not my soul.

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.

If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.

I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.

Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

Never having alone time is real tough on people.

The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.

When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.