Best 63 quotes of Billy Crystal on MyQuotes

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.

As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

Bambi, to a kid, was scary.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Change is such hard work.

Consider the rose...The rose is the sweetest smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the most simple, right? But sometimes, you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose back, so something sweeter smelling and stronger, and even more beautiful, will grow in its place

Despite what The Wall Street Journal says, our awards are the best-kept secret in America, with the possible exception of what George W. Bush did in the '70s.

Don't give up your power.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

Every time I was with Sammy [Davis Jr.] it was like going to the show business museum because the stories were so extraordinary, and I didn't care if they were true or not after a while. ... I don't know if he really got high with Humphrey Bogart or not. It didn't matter because he was painting these fantastic pictures.

For almost 40 years, he was the brightest star in the comedy galaxy... Their beautiful light will continue to shine on us forever. And the glow will be so bright, it'll warm your heart, it'll make your eyes glisten, and it'll make you think to yourselves: Robin Williams, what a concept.

Gentlemen, start your egos!

Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries.

Great news! Hosting Oscars counts five hours toward my community service!

I always came away thinking "I'd like to see her more," you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought - Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

I always was a performer, from the time I was little. It was always a natural place for me to be.

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.

[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.

I don't like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.

If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.

I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.

I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.

I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet. That's why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.

I'm comfortable being old... being black... being Jewish.

I'm going to be your grandpa! / I have the biggest smile. / I've been waiting to meet you for such a long, long while.

I'm married - I've caught my limit.

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again.

I think I've far exceeded what I ever thought I could possibly do. I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years . . . and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.

I think when I feel I'm at my best is when I'm on stage, and it's my version of jazz because it's just riffing or something.

It is better to look good than to feel good.

It's money. I remember it from when I was single

I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.

I've always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That's why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.

I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.

I was always drawn to performing, but I never thought I could. I have no idea what I wanted to do outside of the old cowboy-or-fireman. When I was in college, I got serious about acting. I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.

I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach - Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did - he was a giant.

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.

My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I've already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.

[My mother] is the greatest hero I'll ever know because she kept us all together, she made sure we all graduated college. She always believed in us no matter what we do. My older brother Joel became an art teacher; my brother Rip ultimately became a television producer and singer and actor himself.

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.

Since I was a kid, every Thanksgiving growing up in New York, we always watched 'The March of the Wooden Soldiers' by Laurel and Hardy. Never miss it.

The house as I say ... smelled of brisket and bourbon, so you could hear that. I started imitating them. Phrases came out of that, "Can't you dig that?" "I knew that you would." We were at [Passover] Seders and they were confused with the bitter herbs, "Do we smoke these or do we do we dip them in salt water?" "We dip them in salt water, well that's gonna kill the vibrancy of the weed, you know." So that's what I was around. So I would imitate them. That's where it all started.

The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.

The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.

There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.

This time I particularly loved because it came from a real experience with my grandchildren. Having them alone alone for the first time for six or seven days and going "Wow, this is exhausting," because when you're not around little ones for a long time, you forget about how much work that is. So I came in and started writing the story that became this movie ['PARENTAL GUIDANCE'].