Best 289 quotes of Zach Braff on MyQuotes

A child's death is really of less value than an adult's. I mean, what could you really accomplish in a year? Not much, and that's not even talking about, you know, pay-wise.

Actually when I gave out the script, I gave it with a CD of all the music I wanted to put in the movie, and again, we never thought we'd get all that music.

After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins

A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.

A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

As a kid who wasn't into sports, at school I felt almost alienated at times, whereas in the theatre community there was this amazing sense of camaraderie. Early on, we would go to rehearsals with my dad and I was like the mascot for the backstage crew. That was a big part of my childhood, so I dreamed of one day doing a play in London.

At first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter

At this point I feel like I could go out and accomplish anything. I'd just love to see Will Smith's face if he found out I, Z-Braff, have the number one rap album in the country. That'd show that no-talent uncle tom.

Being around blind people is always a little frustrating to me because I know they have no idea how handsome I am.

Best movie ever?! Come on, my appearance on Arrested Development had more dynamics, realism and feel to it than the whole trilogy combined.

Bigger than the Beatles? Well, how many grammys did they win? Exactly, none, yet I have one, and I've never even released a CD.

Compared to my talents, Whoopi Goldberg is like one of those fake plastic Buddhas you get at dollar stores. I mean really, I fail to see the humor in an overweight negro woman with dreadlocks, no eyebrows, and is named after a childish term for flatulence.

Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?

Don't get me started on cold toilet seats.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me.

Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.

Ever since I was little it was programmed into me that London is where great theatre occurs and all the big shows you love start there.

Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.

Everyone has an idea that they think would be a great movie. Everyone has a cousin who they think you should work with.

Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!

Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.

First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.

For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know?

Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.

Have I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?

Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.

Honestly, the only way Garden State could have been better was if I played every character. I'm awesome.

I actually did ponder doing the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie thing and get a kid from Ethiopia. But you know, I already have an ashtray.

I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.

I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

I am really driven, but my drive doesn't effect the conversations I have in my head about life, and my worries and fears and insecurities.

I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!

I blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?

I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.

I can't watch the news anymore. They have their priorities all out of whack. All I see is Natalee Holloway and Britney Spears and the war in Iraq. Where's the substantive news? Where's the Zach Braff coverage?

I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.

I could be one if I wanted to, I'm just way too overqualified for a job that simple.

I could see why someone would want to make a website about me, and my quotes. They are all gold. How many people have written, directed AND starred in their own movies. I just don't know why they would want to put words into my mouth, I mean I did write, direct AND star in a critically acclaimed movie.

I definitely try to play a common man in my roles so people can identify with my characters, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't really matter what I do or my lines are, I'm still Zach Braff, and people know I'm better than them.

I didn't necessarily have a total idea when I was writing the movie of where everything was going. I just wanted to have really realistic dialogue and write like people I knew talked. I tried to keep it very real.

I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.

I'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.

I donno, it's not impressive. Once I put ear plugs in and put a blind fold on for like 14 minutes and I did just fine.

I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State

I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?

I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.

I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.

I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?