Best 126 quotes of Ann Landers on MyQuotes

A cigarette is a roll of paper, tobacco, and drugs, with a small fire on one end and a large fool at the other. Some of its chief benefits are cancer of the lips and stomach, softening of the brain, funeral procesions, and families shrouded in gloom and grief. Although a great many people know this, they still smoke in order to appear sophisticated.

A happy marriage has the tranquility of a lovely sunset.

A husband is a man who wishes he had as much fun when he goes on business trips as his wife thinks he does.

All marriages are happy, it's living together afterward that's tough.

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love.

All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership.

An open marriage is nature's way of telling you that you need a divorce.

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another check-out line.

A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.

Are you better off with him or without him?

Assume nothing. Inside every dumb blond there may be a very smart brunette.

A successful marriage is not a gift; it is an achievement.

At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.

At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.

Bragging is not an attractive trait, but let's be honest. A man who catches a big fish doesn't go home through an alley.

Bragging may not bring happiness, but no man having caught a large fish goes home through an alley.

Children have an uncanny way of living up - or down - to what is expected of them.

Church is not a museum for Saints, but rather a hospital for sinners.

Class is the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.

Class is considerate of others. It knows that good manners is nothing more than a series of petty sacrifices.

Class never tries to build itself up by tearing others down. Class is already up and need not strive to look better by making others look worse.

Don't give up. Keep going. there is always a chance that you stumble onto something terrific. I have never heard of anyone stumbling over anything while he was sitting down

Don't indulge in gossip. ... People who throw mudballs always manage to end up getting a little on themselves.

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high, look it quarely in the eye and say, 'I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say “I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.” Then repeat to yourself the most comforting of all words , “This too shall pass.”

Experience, they say, is the best teacher, but we get the grade first and the lesson later.

Find comfort in the knowledge that no imitator ever comes off as well as the original.

Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don't sample the goodies unless you're willing to risk addiction and withdrawal.

Grown-up people can wait.

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.

I advise keeping four feet on the floor and all hands on deck.

I don't believe that you have to be a cow to know what milk is.

If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don't use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.

If you have a good name, if you are right more often than you are wrong, if your children respect you, if your grandchildren are glad to see you, if your friends can count on you and you can count on them in time of trouble, if you can face your God and say "I have done my best," then you are a success.

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.

If you want to catch trout, don't fish in a herring barrel.

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else.

I made up my mind when I was 15 years old that I would never smoke or drink. I have kept that pledge to myself, and it was one of the smartest decisions I ever made.

Imagine you had a bank that each morning credited your account with $1,440 - with one condition: whatever part of the $1,440 you failed to use during the day would be erased from your account, and no balance would be carried over. What would you do? You'd draw out every cent every day and use it to your best advantage. Well, you do have such a bank, and its name is time. Every morning, this bank credits you with 1,440 minutes. And it writes off as forever lost whatever portion you have failed to invest to good purpose.

In recent years, there have been reports of people with twisted minds putting razor blades and poison in taffy apples and Halloween candy. It is no longer safe to let your child eat treats that come from strangers.

Inside every seventy-year-old is a thirty-five-year-old asking, 'What happened?

In the end, it's not what you do for your children but what you've taught them to do for themselves.

It is a mark of a superior mind to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.

It means being able to resist the urge for immediate gratification and opt for the course of action that will pay off later.

It's one of the ironies of human nature that the most sensitive people are generally insensitive to the feelings of others.

Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

Keep skid chains on your tongue. Say less than you think. Cultivate a pleasant voice. How you say it is often more important than what you say.

Know when to tune out, if you listen to too much advice you may wind up making other peoples mistakes.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.