Best 623 quotes of Will Rogers on MyQuotes

Ability is all right but if it is not backed up by honesty and public confidence you will never be a successful person. The best a man can do is to arrive at the top in his chosen profession. I have always maintained that one profession is deserving of as much honor as another provided it is honorable.

About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

A country can get more real joy out of just hollering for their freedom than they can if they get it.

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter with it. When it's quiet and doesn't pay much attention to anything, that's when it's really dangerous.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

A foreigner coming here and reading the Congressional Record would say that the President of the United States was elected solely for the purpose of giving Senators somebody to call a horse thief.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

After seeing kids play polo against big guys, it only shows that horses are the greatest equalizer in the world. No matter what you weigh, the little fellow is your equal on a horse.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched.

A king can stand people's fighting but he can't last long if people start thinking.

Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who he knows know more than he does.

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

All I know is just what I read in the Congressional Record. They have had some awful funny articles in there lately. As our government deteriorates, our humor increases.

All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.

A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn't know history. He don't know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.

A man who dies without adequate life insurance should have to come back and see the mess he created.

America already holds the record for freak movements. Now we have a new one. It's called "Restoring Confidence." Rich men who never had a mission in life outside of watching a stock ticker are working day and night "restoring confidence." Writers are working night shifts, speakers' tables are littered up, ministers are preaching statistics, all on "restoring confidence.

America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.

America is a land of opportunity and don't ever forget it.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to a select few.

Americans are getting like a Ford car, they all have the same exact parts, the same upholstering and make exactly the same noises.

Ammunition beats persuasion when you are looking for freedom.

And if you call one a real estate agent and he won't sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It's the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different.

And kid Congress and the Senate, dont scold em. They are just children thats never grown up. They dont like to be corrected in company. Dont send messages to em, send candy.

Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.

And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!

And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one.

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

A politician is just like a pickpocket; it's almost impossible to get him to reform.

A politician is not as narrow-minded as he forces himself to be.

A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.

A Realtor is an old fashioned Real Estate man with a neck tie. A Real Estate man sold you what you wanted, a Realtor sells you what you don't need. A Real Estate man showed you what you could raise on the land, a Realtor tells you what you can build on it.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

A Republican moves slowly. They are what we call conservatives. A conservative is a man who has plenty of money and doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't always have plenty of money. A Democrat is a fellow who never had any, but doesn't see any reason why he shouldn't have some.

A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.

Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.

A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.