Best 138 quotes of Simon Cowell on MyQuotes

Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh. I mean, I'm bad at that, when somebody is singing something terribly and I'm thinking to myself, 'If I laugh now, this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do,' and then I start laughing and I can't stop.

Anything I shouldn't laugh at makes me laugh.

As an actor, I really like Philip Seymour Hoffman. I think he's a genius.

At 20, you're cocky and you think you can rule the world, and you get it all wrong.

Being different is good; embrace it.

Beyonce is good-looking. Jennifer Lopez is good-looking. Madonna used to be good-looking.

Britain's got talent, enormous talent, that's very obvious.

Choosing how you vote should not be a snap verdict based on a few minutes of television.

Every single negative can lead to a positive. Any negative situation... don't get too down about it - you'll work it out. You learn it as you go along. You don't get smart at 17. You just don't unless you're one of a billion. it will happen over time and it's the getting there which will be the most fun.

Every time I sat in a chemistry lesson I thought, what am I doing this for? I don't ever want to be in a job that involves a Bunsen burner.'

For the music business, social networking is brilliant. Just when you think it's doom and gloom and you have to spend millions of pounds on marketing and this and that, you have this amazing thing now called fan power. The whole world is linked through a laptop. It's amazing. And it's free. I love it. It's absolutely brilliant.

Good is not enough. You've got to be great.

Harshness to me is giving somebody false hopes and not following through. That's harsh. Telling some guy or some girl who've got zero talent that they have zero talent actually is a kindness.

Have I got a black book? Yes, it's called a mobile phone. I do get offers. There is no shortage of people if you want to go on dates - working in TV, living in L.A., it is there if you want it.

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

I break up very well. I am a good breaker-upper.

I can't stand stage mothers. It doesn't work. You definitely feel that with the new generation of pop stars right now they've all managed to work it out for themselves. You have to have confidence in that. When you're young, you know your market better than I will. I love having young people on the show because I can learn from them.

I can't think of one person who is on TV who isn't vain. It's the nature of the beast. If you are on TV then you have a vanity, for sure. Just admit it! Why not?

I could just sit back and get someone to spin my achievements, I suppose, but when I see others do it, I always think, 'Why are you telling me how successful you are?' I am always suspicious of those kinds of boasts.

I couldn't think of anything worse than being in an unhappy marriage. It worries me because I've seen it destroy people.

I didn't have any qualifications when I left school - I had three O-levels.

I didn't realise how important stupid people are in your life, because you ask yourself, what made stupid people so stupid? What made them the way they are?

I do a couple of hundred press-ups a day but I haven't been to a gym in years.

I don't have sophisticated tastes. I have average tastes. If you looked in my collection of DVDs, you'd see 'Jaws' and 'Star Wars.' In the book library, you'd see John Grisham and Sidney Sheldon. And if you look in my fridge, it's, like, children's food - chips, milkshakes, yogurt.

I don't like people who are hypocritical, who pretend to be nice, particularly in show business when they're nice on camera, and then off camera they're absolutely appalling to the makeup people, or the waitress in a restaurant, you know? I don't like - I can't bear those kind of people. So I like people who are, you know, up front in your face.

I don't mind being cast as some kind of a pantomime baddie, but I am very fair in business. I always have been. I pride myself on being fair.

I don't mind competition at all. I mean, the record business is the most competitive business in the world, probably. So I'm used to that. In a weird way, it kind of makes you work harder.

I do see a big difference in the American work ethic compared to the British work ethic in a lot of artists.

I'd say the most dangerous thing I've ever done is probably bungee jumping in Thailand...

If I go into a relationship with an artist, which at most is going to last five years, we have a 100-page contract covering every eventuality. Whereas with marriage you go into it with no contract, with laws that date back hundreds of years, and I don't think that's right.

If I had to say who is the number-one most powerful figure is in reality TV, it's very easy. It is the general public. They're the only people who have power now.

If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless.

If I tape an 11-hour day, guess which parts end up on air. Not the bits when I'm pleasant, but the parts when I'm obnoxious.

If I went to a psychiatrist, it would be a long session. I've always thought that I do have a number of issues that probably need dealing with, because I am quite odd in some ways.

If we had to choose one American Idol to go out to dinner with, it would be Fantasia. There are no airs and graces about her. ... I like her.

If you only ever heard Lady Gaga, she's the most boring singer in the world.

If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.

If you've got a big mouth and you're controversial, you're going to get attention.

I genuinely believed no one would want to marry me. I am difficult to live with. I'm selfish, quite weird and I need time on my own to think - and then I work all night long. That is difficult for someone to deal with. And it would drive me mad - I could never be my own girlfriend!

I get very anti-social, depressed and irritable with people. I don't have time for them. I can't make phone calls and stuff. I just sit on my own for days.

I got good advice once. Someone said to me: 'Live in your money rather than look at it.

I grew up when the whole Motown thing was huge. The charts in those days were dominated by groups more than solo artists at one point.

I hate belongings. I hate clutter. It really bothers me because I can't think properly. If you've got distractions in front of you, your mind goes nuts.

I have always hated celebrities lecturing people on politics.

I have always hated celebrities lecturing people on politics. So forgive me. But I am passionate about this country. I am equally passionate about the potential of the people who live here.

I have seen that the American Dream is a reality - and I would love to feel the British Dream is also a reality. To enable that, we have to bring back some common sense and encourage family values, a proper sense of justice and make people believe they have a decent chance to build a business or career for themselves. I see this moment as a fantastic opportunity to restore this, because I believe Britain Has Talent.

I have total respect for anyone who discovers a band like Snow Patrol. I would be hopeless at signing a rock band, or anything alternative, cause I don't know what that audience are into and I don't particularly like that kind of music.

I have very good advice to give to kids this age, which is, you shouldn't listen to your mum or dad and you just have to work it out for yourself. And the reason I've taken the age range down this year, and I never would have done it 10 years ago, is what I've seen with the success of Willow Smith. You don't have to be so cutesy anymore.

I honestly can't ever imagine retiring because I don't know what else I would do - even when I'm on holiday, 70% of the time I'm working. I think I'd like to go out on the job so, ideally, 'And the winner is... Ooooh, and he's gone!'

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food.