Best 48 quotes of Carroll Bryant on MyQuotes

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.

A pedophile only screws kids. Democrats screw everyone.

A sin is nothing more than regret. Not for doing it once, but doing it again when you know you’re going to regret it.

Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death.

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.

Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

Hope is believing in something that eludes you. It's a desperate feeling in a desperate situation.

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.

I don't know who he was," Kavita flat-out states, "but whoever he was he sure did a number on you, didn't he?" Mary leans forward to ensure he would see her deviant stare. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I did a number on him?" Kavita leans in closer as well, and with that same deviant expression, "Yes. I have.

I'd rather have a pedophile in office rather than a democrat any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Pedophiles only screw kids while democrats screw everyone.

I feel like I am either on the cusp of something great, or standing on the edge of my abyss, discovering something brand new, or uncovering somebody elses lost imagination.

If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I would have met the right girl. If I had wanted to meet the right girl, I would have drank a whole lot less.

If only yesterday could be my tomorrow then today wouldn't even matter.

If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you.

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must surrender.

I never fail. It's just that the people around me succeed more than I.

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.

I saw America's economy last night, people raiding dumpsters at a higher rate than normal in my home town. Digging through garbage shouldn't be a career. Thanks Democrats. Thanks Republicans.

Listen." Jennifer reverted, "I didn't mean anything by all of that before. I understand what you were trying to do and ..." She struggled for the right words. "Sweetie, like love, people don't live inside of life, life lives inside of you. Open yourself up to it and there's no stopping your heart.

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny.

Mary approaches her before she is able to reach her station. "Hello Lily. Get anything special for Christmas?" "Just the usual." She answers. "Shattered dreams.

My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday." "Ian," Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week." Ian nods his head. "Pretty much.

Nothing is as it seems, but something is everything it is made out to be.

Often times, "shame" is the word that best describes reality.

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.

Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?

The last word of love is ... goodbye.

The moment you stop trying to become a better person, is the moment you start to become worse than what you already are.

The only thing standing between you and your dreams is ... reluctance.

The problem with a lot people is, they are more concerned about their image than they are about their reputation. It should be the other way around.

There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place

The thing I want to write most is the next thing I write.

The white lily stands for purity. Artists for centuries have pictured the angel Gabriel coming to the virgin Mary with a spray of lillies in his hand, to announce that she is to be the mother of the Turks.

This isn't your world. It's your parents. Your world is still out there, waiting to be discovered. Always remember that.

To which hand do I choose to strike with when both hands are guided by the same heart?

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.

When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

When people say they hate life, to what are they comparing it to? The alternative isn't any more appealing.

You are the guiding star of someone's existence

You are the only one who can.

You can spend your life judging people or, you can spend it making friends. Take your pick.

You know," Kavita begins, "I think I can pick out my own furniture. I am an artist after all. I do have some taste." "No you don't." Nick plainly states. "No man has taste. Besides, I didn't pick it out, she did. Wives are good for things like that.