Best 121 quotes of Karl Wiggins on MyQuotes

Karl Wiggins

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Above all else, be true to yourself. Do what YOU want to do. Walk alone and be your own judge. It’ll be a bumpy road sometimes, but you’ll carry yourself a little taller at the end of each and every journey. In the end nobody except you cares whether you run your life at the beck and call of everyone else or whether you choose to be a Warrior-Sage, living your own life. And that’s the way it should be.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    A chef’s magic is his ingredients, how he can substitute one for another, then break with convention by changing it all around again without once referring to the recipe. And then just at the death complete the beauty by adding another element never previously thought of. Well words are the writer’s sorcery, our dark arts and our sleight of hand. They’re our enchantment and our temptation. Sometimes both the chef and the writer overindulges himself and it gets out of hand, but that’s how we like it, it’s how we’ve ghosted some of our best creations.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    A ‘discouraged worker’ is someone of legal employment age who has stopped actively seeking employment because he or she has simply given up looking, hence the term ‘discouraged.’ Well I’m fucking discouraged at having to pay for the lazy sod!

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    A lot of us for instance are very good at our jobs but absolutely hopeless at job interviews. Does this sound like you? You rock up for the interview full of confidence, you know full well you can fill the position easily and possibly better than most, you’re friendly, outgoing, and personable, and you scare the shit out of the interviewer.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    An ancestor of mine, Jesse Wiggins, was hung for stealing sheep, and I don’t know how I feel about that. Was he a dashing, swashbuckling ‘outlaw’ or a desperate, brutal criminal? I’d like to think he was a rustler or possibly a highwayman, a ‘knight of the road.’ Dick Turpin or maybe Sixteen-String Jack Rann. But in all likelihood Jesse Wiggins was simply hungry and stole a battered old sheep to feed his family, and that’s what cost him his life.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Anybody who has been on Jobseeker's Allowance for more than six months must carry out some form of community work to earn their money

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Any immigrants found guilty of serious crime – rape, murder, violent gang membership – should be sent straight back to their country of origin. That ought to act as a deterrent. If they choose to bite the hand that feeds them, then they can fuck off. We don’t need people like that in this country.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Anything that makes you distinct from others is precisely who you’re here to be. Not someone who ‘fits in’ with everyone else

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    A real piece of writing is one in which the writer has tried to enrich not only the book, but also his understanding of the words. The words themselves have to be open to new ideas and suggestions, and the writer himself must have the audacity to attempt new things and to risk failure

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Arsenal play pretty-boy football. Good to watch on the telly, but there’s no real grit in their play.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    As a Wrong Planet person you may at times appear to be unsociable. You’re often dispassionate when it comes to the activities of others because they seem so mediocre to you. You sometimes find it disappointing to make friends with people who you just can’t relate to. And because of this from time to time you find yourself alone, although you don’t mind this. It’s simply that people don’t always cut it for you

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    At this very moment we are breathing the same air that once was Marco Polo’s last breath. And we’re also breathing the same air that was Mozart’s first breath as a baby. you’re also breathing air that’s probably been queefed by Mata Hari, Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe, which either way you look at it is pretty cool. So, while we’re breathing in the same molecules as Jesus, we’re also breathing in the same air as Pontius Pilot, Attila the Hun and an inmate on Death Row in San Quentin State Prison. We are linked to every other life form that has ever been on this planet because we literally breathe the same air.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Bessie Stringfield epitomised the Carefree Scamp. She wasn’t trying to be any sort of inspiration for black women or female bikers. She was just living her life. It was her road and she knew that no one else could ride it for her

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Both the Gypsies of the 19th century and the Bohemian scribblers and court jester types share similar personality traits. Both groups were known as drifters, dancers, minstrels and troubadours. And for their cheerful and pleasant approach to poverty. They were also known for stalking members of the opposite sex. Alcohol, words and the hue and glow of the artist’s easel were what they lived for

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Carefree Scamps are unconventional to the extreme but they get better results, and frequently their employers, who were often in two minds about offering them the position in the first place, eventually realise they’ve found a diamond, yet not only are they unsure how to handle them, they can seldom work out how specifically they accomplish their objectives because in one way or another they’re always rocking the bloody boat. The Carefree Scamp takes quite a bit of ‘managing

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Carefree Scamps like you and I go through transition stages from time to time, and one of the exceptional things about life's challenges is that we get to discover what we’re truly capable of. You, my friend, are more spirited, resolute, and fearless than you can ever imagine. And on the flip side you’re more immoral and foolhardy than most people could ever dream of being. Isn’t that great?

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Carefree Scamps, you see, know the inevitability of their fate. If they can’t identify this, then they’re off-track. Rag, Tag & Bobtail don’t know their destiny, or perhaps they just accept it for what it is. But those who feel they may have been born on the Wrong Planet are masters of their own fate, even though they often come across their inevitable future on the very road they took to escape it. If this is you, and I think it is - otherwise you wouldn’t have read so far into this nutty book - then I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you as a Scamp.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Choose carefully. Avoid Rag, Tag & Bobtail. Avoid those who play it safe. They won’t offer a helping hand, and they can’t advise you. They’re boring, and that’s just about all that can be said about them. They are dead and obsolete. That’s it. They exist, they happen, but they don’t actually live.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Crystal Palace, Man City and West Ham bring good support. They never stop singing. As do teams like Leicester, Cardiff and (although I hate to admit it) QPR. I can’t stand West Brom, but at least they come in fine voice. But it would be fair to say that the Arsenal support is atrocious

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Cynthia was originally from Sierra Leone, and I loved the way those two dusky words rolled off her tongue. As we drove along I found myself fascinated with the deep “Oooooohhs” and “Aaaahhhhss” that made up her conversational speech patterns

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Does this sound like you? You rock up for the job interview full of confidence, you know full well you can fill the position easily and possibly better than most, you’re friendly, outgoing, and personable, and you scare the shit out of the interviewer. They don’t know what to make of you.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Emperor Haile Selassie was certainly a defining figure in both Ethiopian and African history, and as Rastafarians revere Haile Selassie as the returned messiah, it’s possible that the routes of Rastafarianism are deep-seated in the Queen of Sheba. Trip on that! A queen who was part Genie, or Djinn, is possibly the focus of Rastafarianism

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Every last one of us has a spark of mischief in our eyes, and that spark of mischief is what connects us all. Not everybody has this. But we’re Carefree Scamps, all of us. And we make people laugh. These are the people whose friendships I value.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Every one of the big breakthroughs in the art of literature have possibly started as what many would call a ludicrous or even laughable idea as the writer occasionally balances a routine piece with an investment in the eccentric and untried. Over time, the reward is usually worth the risk

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    For a shy person it’s hard enough to overcome self-consciousness and establish personal relationships with others without having the additional hindrance of a well-meaning but misguided relative who only emphasises that person’s limitations

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    For the Gypsy, it’s moments in time that count, not interpretations or rhetorical questions or resolutions or justifications, and not even the journey’s end, for the journey never ends. Just moments in time. They are born for disappearing

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    For the most part policy-makers are too nervous about offending people, yet when BRITAIN really was GREAT that was the last thought on our minds.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Frida Kahlo had found her passion in colour, she painted with intensity and she cherished her loves with every ounce of her bones. She stood up for things of importance, and she never ever apologised for who she was

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Frida Kahlo was fucking fearless!

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Give me someone who was born elsewhere yet clearly demonstrates he wants to get involved over someone who was born here yet believes he/she has a right to the money you and I have worked so hard for

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    He was incorrigible, yet you can’t help but love him. His devil-may-care attitude, his brash nature and his vivaciousness aligned with his self-assertive and fearless nature gave birth to a Star who most people will, never, ever see the likes of. People like Sixteen-String Jack are wild, untameable and impossible to forget.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I believe the Law of the Land should allow migrants three months on benefits and then the benefits cease

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I call the polar opposites to Wrong Planet people Rag, Tag & Bobtail because they’re really nothing but glove puppets. Their heads are little more than hollow wood and at times they seem to be controlled by strings and rods and levers with invisible hands inside them making them ‘perform.’ Most glove puppets have fixed facial expressions and a hinged mouth, giving them a dull, lifeless expression.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If any immigrants are found guilty of crime the punishment, for a minor crime such as shoplifting, should be double that of someone born or bred here. A bit harsh? Not really. The country will have bent over backwards to offer them assistance, they’ll have cost the British taxpayer money, and if they repay that by committing crime then they need to be sorely punished. The British Taxpayer who’s helped them should feel safe from any criminal activities that they themselves are inadvertently funding

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If someone drowned at sea 300 years ago, or they died elsewhere but their remains were disposed of in the ocean, they’d either start to decompose immediately or they’d get eaten by fish or other scavengers. Their bones would eventually sink down to the seabed and be slowly buried by marine silt or broken down further over the years, but the flesh would one way or another eventually become water, which would evaporate into clouds and then rain down upon the earth once again to become plants and flowers. The flowers in your garden could once have been Anne Bonny and Mary Read.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If someone drowned at sea a couple of hundred years ago they’d either start to decompose immediately or they’d get eaten by fish or other scavengers. The bones would eventually sink down to the seabed and either be slowly buried by marine silt or broken down further over the years, but the flesh would one way or another eventually become water, which would evaporate into clouds and then rain down upon the earth once again to become plants and flowers. The flowers in your garden could once have been famous pirates such as Blackbeard or Calico Jack.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If someone’s been signing on for six months with still no sign of finding gainful employment, then in order to continue to receive their Unemployment Benefit or Jobseeker’s Allowance they should complete at least 30 hours of compulsory work a week with the idea being that not only do they benefit their own communities, but this would also assist them in developing basic employability skills

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If the police catch someone using their mobile phone whilst driving they should have the right to confiscate the person’s license with immediate effect, AND confiscate their car keys so they have to walk home. I don’t care if they’re 200 or 400 miles from home, take their keys off them. And no need to waste the court’s time over this one. They don’t go to court. The police should have the power to write out a year’s driving ban on the spot and force them to surrender their license. Anyone got any arguments over this one?

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If we bend over backwards to help immigrants and they throw that assistance back in our faces by committing crime then the punitive sentences should be double what would normally be expected, and upon serving their sentence they should be deported immediately.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    If you’re fit and healthy and capable of mending a fence or stacking shelves, and you’re not doing either of those things, then I say you don’t get the right to vote. I don’t want someone who’s too lazy to get a job making decisions on how this country should be run.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I hate people who say, “Good moaning,” instead of, “Good morning.” What kind of a wanker, are they? I’ll tell you. It’s their little joke, you see. They view it as a clever play on words, changing one letter to make a completely different word. Do you get it? By changing the ‘r’ in morning to an ‘a’ the whole meaning of the word changes. Do you see how witty they are? WANKEEERRRSS!!!!

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I know for a fact that if a country took me in and offered me assistance, I would be on my best behaviour forever! I would show total respect to the people of that nation and their laws. And I certainly wouldn’t expect special treatment.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I last visited White Hart Lane in early February 2016, and as I took my seat, after a few pints in the (TV-less) concourse, in the upper tier of the South-West corner I couldn’t help but notice the tumbleweed rolling around the ground. The stony silence from areas of the ground where I would normally expect the home fans to be sitting was deafening, and the whole ground was reminiscent of a ghost town. Whenever the magnificent Watford support ceased singing for a brief second or two I could hear the hollow, dry wind, and I found the desolate, dry and humourless atmosphere all rather eerie. But here’s the weird thing. If I squinted my eyes it almost appeared as if 36,000 people were sitting in seats around the ground, and the only conclusion I could draw was that it just one guy and that it was all done with mirrors.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I’m not interested in hearing from those who preach joy or talk such crap about ‘positivity pledges’ about not allowing negative thoughts to drain them of energy, or about sending vibes of positive energy into the world and being grateful for all the wonderful things it’s going to attract into lives. That stuff’s all well and good, except that most people who talk shit like this are as fake as Katie Price’s boobs.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I’m the guy who finds the fucking cat

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I’m thinking of starting my own Fat Club. Talking to Sue it sounds like money for old rope. £15 membership and fleece them for another fiver every time they come along to get weighed

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    In every glass of water we drink there are molecules once urinated by Genghis Khan

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    Interesting how some words that hold basically the same meaning can have different connotations. Take ‘outlaw’ and ‘criminal’ for instance. ‘Outlaw’ has an almost romantic, nostalgic meaning – you tend to think of Jesse James or Robin Hood when you think of outlaws. Billy the Kid has been described as both a ‘notorious outlaw’ and a ‘beloved folk hero.’ ‘Criminal’ however has a completely different connotation. We think of muggers, burglars, armed robbers etc. Nobody really wants to have a ‘criminal’ in their family tree, but the idea of having ‘outlaw blood’ is exciting and glamorous

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    In the village there was a man whose job it was to clear up all the shit from the holes in the ground. He used to collect it in a big copper pan and walk off with it balanced on his head. Proud that he’s got a job. All the kids run behind him and dance in front of him shouting, “Shithead! Shithead!” and laughing those little African laughs. Whenever he gets a chance he puts his hand in the shit pan on his head and flicks shit at them. They all run away laughing, but apparently, he’s quite a good aim, occasionally catching a kid right in the face with shit. This, apparently, is a daily occurrence, and I thought it was quite a good story.

  • By Anonym
    Karl Wiggins

    I think there’s something about certain people’s chosen ‘lifestyle’ which ages them. I can’t explain it any other way. Leaving school, building a career, getting old before their time as they take on more and more stress lacks that one essential element that we had oodles of as youngsters, and that’s fun. We had lively, buoyant and animated fun. We were carefree at an age when you’re supposed to be carefree. We were breezy, jaunty and happy-go-lucky. The flip side of this is that at times it may make some of us feel as if we’re outsiders. People occasionally talk about us in hushed tones, whispering that we’re a bit of a lone wolf, or at times a loose cannon. They don’t want to say it to our faces because every now and again we can be a little bit unpredictable. But they look at us with a strange curiosity, because in comparison – although they’re often very successful at ‘fitting in’ – they lead lives that are drab, dreary and monotonous. They’re not unruly like the Carefree Scamps. We have a divine spark of unruliness within us. And it’s that unruliness which has kept us young.