Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

I laugh and joke, but I don't get distracted very easily.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day.

I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot.

I'm a fun person. I like cracking jokes and being completely nerdy.

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

I make a joke that I'm the Internet curmudgeon, but 'wary' is a good way to put it.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references.

I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes.

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.

I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

In fact, it used to be a joke if you studied at a University

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance.

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.

I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.

Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking. -Sophie I never joke about carnivorous bunnies. -Luca

It doesn't feel like you're preaching, if you can say something in a joke.

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl.

It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage.

I tell very mean jokes.

I tell the most horrible jokes.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

It is not a sin to be seventy but it is also no joke.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

I think things evolve into jokes. I don't generally write them down as jokes. I talk them out.

It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut.

It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone’s expense.

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.

It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.

It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.

It's not a stereotype if it's always true.

It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.

It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn't have written it!

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.