Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

If you can make it sound exciting with a joke drum machine, you know you've got something.

If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again.

If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.

If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.

If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke.

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.

I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

I have "come back" [to music scene] so many times, people are just like, Is this another one?... It's kind of like a joke to me now.

If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke.

I joke around all the time, 'I'm Asian; I'm really good at math.'

I joke sometimes that I live a protracted adolescence, that a part of me will always be twelve years old.

I joke that if she [Debbie Wasserman Schultz] could find a 3 a.m. slot in the Home Shopping Network, she would grab that. So those emails only confirm what we knew.

I laugh and joke, but I don't get distracted very easily.

I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part.

I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.

I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

I like when people are trapped in the joke, when there's no escape. I like to lead people down the wrong path and then trap them.

I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.

I joke that I spent 38 years scouring the globe, going to war zones, trying to find the person with my exact birthday.

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day.

I'm a fun person. I like cracking jokes and being completely nerdy.

I make a joke that I'm the Internet curmudgeon, but 'wary' is a good way to put it.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.

I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

In fact, it used to be a joke if you studied at a University

In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.

I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance.

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking. -Sophie I never joke about carnivorous bunnies. -Luca

I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl.

It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage.