Best 70 quotes of Don Rickles on MyQuotes

Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood.

Al Capone's my uncle. The old days were a lot different. The Latin Casino was the big time. When I got there I figured that I was doing pretty good, because remember, I started in nothing but after hours joints. I can't even name them now, but that's how I got noticed.

An insult comic is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

Everything I do on stage, I made up in saloons. I started doing it in front of people, and that became my performance. I never had writers.

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

Frank Sinatra enjoyed my humor, so I could say almost anything to him. I mean, within reason.

Hell, do I remember the first joke? I was never a jokester.

I always enjoy being full of fun, but I have my serious moments. Some women go for the studious kind of guy, I certainly was not that. If a girl is looking for somebody different and maybe a little more exciting for themselves - someone more on the fun side, I would suggest that they look for a type like Don Rickles.

I always say that comedians and actors were all kind of shy when they were young. I was very, believe it or not, kind of embarrassed as a child. But my mother was a very strong lady and she was the one that kept it going when I thought it would be over for me as a performer. She was always my inspiration and she was a big influence on me.

I can sit all day in a comfortable chair and watch ball games, but I don't need a blanket.

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.

I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.

I don't feel an obligation to give everyone a hard time, but when they're important people, it's fun.

I don't get into politics. I know [Donald] Trump, but I don't follow that. That's just an aside for him when he has nothing else to say. He never involved me in any of that stuff.

I don't really tell a joke, I react to situations. The whole thing is just looking at somebody and showing all our weaknesses and exaggerating them, and that's how it becomes funny.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

I grew up in an Orthodox family, as I grew older, I became Conservative and that's how it ended up. But I've developed that Jewish feel to my act from my surroundings and my family.

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

I knew most of the people there who ran the places, a lot of wiseguys. They're all gone now. All good people.

I'm always watching films. The Academy pretty much sends me every film that's ever been done. I enjoy watching them, especially with the people I know.

I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, "Don, get up at a party and tell a joke," I'm the worst.

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.

In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license.

In the old days, that was my ad-lib for hecklers in the joints I worked. It stuck with me. I hardly say it now, say, to fans, even though people do send me hockey pucks.

I still think funny, and people young and old still come and see me. That's flattering. The day comes that they stop coming, then I'll know that it's time to retire to the Jewish ranch.

I think they [Martin Scorsese, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra] liked my honesty. My personality. For that, they always treated me great. I, in turn, treated them great. No secret about it. My being who I am - that is that.

It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that.

I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

I've never been able to tell jokes. In the beginning of my career I did impressions and jokes like any other comedian, but I was never very successful because I did it poorly. So I started to talk to the audience and started talking about the atmosphere around me and started to become angry, not in a mean-spirited way, but in a fun way - and my attitude developed from there.

I've never been mean-spirited, in my opinion. I never did anything below the belt.

I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all my years in Vegas.

I've never had guys sit me down and say this is what you've got to do. It's my personality that makes me one of a kind, and I believe that.

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.

I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew even­tually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

I was with George Washington at Valley Forge, sitting around before an attack... gimme a break. That's over 70 years ago already.

I would describe myself as a guy that's very normal but has the tendency to rib people, but never in a mean-spirited way.

My father wasn't much for show business. He was an insurance man - very well-liked, very warm. He had a lot of friends.

My father when walked into a room, you could tell that everybody loved him. They really did. He was quite a man. My mother was more into the show biz atmosphere than he was.

My health, thank God, has kept my brain alive.

People think being in your seventies means sitting around in a chair with a blanket over your legs, drooling.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Regis Philbin is very successful in his own right. We have a new thing where he have chairs and we sit and talk to each other about my career and his career. It works pretty well if I do say so.

Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.

Showbiz is great if you're successful.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.