Best 25 quotes in «laugh out loud quotes» category

Su aire de superioridad me irritó, pero aquella era su fiesta y yo era su invitada. Tenía educación suficiente para saber que no debía inmovilizarle el brazo a la espalda y aplastarle la cara contra el suelo.

This woman? Mine. Because I’m hers. Heart, body, and soul. She’s it. I’m done.

What the hell are those?" Zach pushed at my foot with his finger. "My boots." "It looks like your foot's being attacked by a Muppet.

When I signed up for this honeymoon, I had no idea it would involve so much nudity...

The door to the situation room door opened, drawing her attention to a tall, lean man with eyes as sharp as razors. The sound of a metal chair scraping on the tile floor filled the room as Reed shot to his feet, stood at attention, and saluted crisply. The man stopped, scowled, and heaved a heavy sigh. "All right you clown. At ease. It hasn't been that long since I've been here." "Just showing my respect, sir," Reed said with a smart-ass grin. "It's not often we're fortunate enough to be in the company of such greatness.

This is where I will shine. This is where my father would have cried, clasped me to his bosom and muttered, "my daughter, my darling daughter. I know thee, because you are a reflection of me." (Don't ask me where I get this shit. I'm just THAT worldly.)

You teach people how to treat you by what you accept.

Mr. Frazier makes me laugh out loud.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

....and Colin threw his head back to let out a laugh so loud and brazen in its bum-lickery that it resonated through the office window.

Boys are rewarded for playing games where they line up by height and then run into walls. Perhaps I'm making that up--or perhaps you should do a Google search for "Guy Runs into Wall for Fun." Not only do women hold up half the sky; we do it while carrying a 500-pound purse. From age sixteen to age twenty, a woman's body is a temple. From twenty-one to forty-five, it's an amusement park. From forty-five on, it's a terrarium. Bring your sense of humor with you at all times. Bring your friends with a sense of humor. If their friends have a sense of humor, invite them, too

Has anyone seen a raving bitch with nice hair?” Holly shouted at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone who heard her pointed in a different direction.

Hopefully he is still alive, or his pecker is un-dead.

If I’d said that to my sensible, smutty, twelve-year-old self, he would have laughed until he hemorrhaged

Laugh till you're exhausted.

Once I got away from him, I was smart enough to stay away from him. To hunt that one is as wise as to go hunting a porcupine. I cannot leave this alone, Nighteyes. I understand. I am the same about porcupines.

Shepley stomped into the apartment and slammed the door behind him. “She’s fucking impossible!” I kissed Travis on the cheek. “That’s my cue.” “Good luck,” Travis said. I slid in beside America, and she huffed. “He’s fucking impossible!

Forgive my brother," Camira apologized. "We don't normally let him out of his cage when guests are present.

He eyed her warily. “Did Pearl give you coffee?” “Yes.” “How many cups?” “Just three. It’s quite good with cream and sugar.” “Have you ever had it before?” “No. Why? What does that have to do with anything? I don’t see what that has to do with anything. Why are my knees shaking?” “Pearl!” Pearl peeked around the wall. “Well! She had a headache. I didn’t think she’d act like a squirrel. And I didn’t know she had three cups.” “A headache?” Maximillion murmured. He turned to Isadora, pointing to the nearest chair. “Sit down.” “I don’t want to.” “Sit. Down.

I don't like him. He makes me laugh. It'll wrinkle my face.

If only there was mouthwash for the brain. Brain wash. They could make a fortune on that stuff.

...I thought, God, I promise to stay a virgin, just please don't let anyone probe me.

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties.

Raegan and I were on the opposite side of town, strutting across the gravel lot of the Red Door, slowly and in unison, as if we were being filmed while walking to a badass soundtrack.

So for some reason everybody makes this huge deal about pandas. I don't know why. They never actually do anything except eat and poop. But they're really famous.' 'Yeah," said Suzana. 'They're like the Kardashians of zoo animals.