Best 127 quotes in «bathroom quotes» category

Regarding punishment, we've learned from the downfall of Harvey Weinstein and other famous men not only that times have changed, but also that ostracism is an efficient tool. It reminds me of the tradition of bathroom lists of sexual assaulters at Brown beginning in 1990. Back then the administrators called the students who wrote them "magic marker terrorists" and threatened them with expulsion if caught. Now a Shitty Media Men list can dominate the news for days as HR departments across the coasts hastily assess their employees and their liability.

Repeat: Sharing the kids bathroom while my master bath gets renovated is family bonding. So fun.

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Sometimes, all it takes to save people from a terrible fate is one person willing to do something about it. Even if that "something" is a fake bathroom break.

Rude staff, bad lighting, and dirty bathrooms are all signs of a bad restaurant and a good reason to leave a restaurant!

Some people out there think everything I do is a publicity stunt, they think when I go to the bathroom it's a publicity stunt.

The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.

The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances.

That's something that I learned when I was homeless. Hotels are awesome because they are going to let you in and you can use the bathroom and when you're young and pretty you can probably use the pool. Somebody might by you a drink.

The secret of marriage is: separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.

The motion picture made in Hollywood, if it is to create art at all, must do so within such strangling limitations of subject and treatment that it is a blind wonder it ever achieves any distinction beyond the purely mechanical slickness of a glass and chromium bathroom.

The paperless society is about as plausible as the paperless bathroom.

There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.

These people who build houses with 13 bathrooms and so on, there's something wrong with them.

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

Through the small tall bathroom window the December yard is gray and scratchy, the tree calligraphic.

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.

We had a one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet apartment with four girls.

We are a nation of 20 million bathrooms, with a humanist in every tub.

Use only things you find around the bathroom to create something. Extra credit: make it in the bathroom!

Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

What is it with you and girls’ bathrooms?

What exactly did we learn in kindergarten? Nothing we wouldn't have learned if we;d stayed home. Okay, we learned that sometimes, by the time you get to the bathroom, it's too late.

What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded. Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.

You can talk about movies all you want, but I have this porcelain fetish. I've had it since I was a kid, because there were so many kids in my family, the only place I had any solace was in the bathroom.

When you're in prison, there's no hiding. These women are not hiding behind towels and shower curtains. They go to the bathroom with no doors on the stalls. It would actually look weird, if these women were hiding.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

No doubt, the toilet must have come alive and regurgitated all over the floor and walls. The putrid water is still trickling from the bowl.

Your wallet will be stolen, you'll get fat, slip on the bathroom tiles of a foreign hotel and crack your hip.

I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of my lungs.

I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

In 1969 America put the man on the moon. In 2016 America put the man in the women's bathroom.

No, I've been doing this myself forever. I could have gone in here myself, but my daddy doesn't want me to get raped. That happens all the time in bathrooms.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Dude!" cried Time. "What the fuck, man!" "Sorry," said Cooper. "I thought this was a bathroom." He stuck out a pouty lower lip. "What could possibly have led you to believe this was a bathroom?" the lizard creature hissed. "The door is clearly marked OFFICE!" "I can't read your lizard language," said Cooper.

...his lazy eye drifting around the room like a child looking for the bathroom.

I could take a shower every day in my own bathroom. I almost didn’t know what to do with such luxury. Other than, you know, not stink.

No, I don't work here, I'm taking pictures of messy bathrooms for a photo essay on the American West. But I'm always up for clean, so if you want to pitch in, I've got Pine Sol and a sponge in my car... It's that VW microbus parked next to the dumpster, and you don't need a key, just pull hard.

Oh, God, it's early," he groaned. "Hell. Well, at least I can grab the bathroom first." Claire jumped to her feet. "What time is it?" "Nine," he said, and yawned again. She reached over him, pushed the hidden button, dashed past him to the door, barely remembering to shed the afghan on the way. "Hey! Dibs on the bathroom! I mean it!" She grabbed her clothes and jumped in the bathroom just as Shane, still yawning, stumbled out of the hidden room. "But I called dibs!" he said, and knocked on the door. "Dibs! Damn girls don't understand the rules....

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..." "...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?" "Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?

Paco is walking out of the bathroom and I rush past him. "You might want to wait before you--" Paco's voice fades as I close the door, locking myself in. Wiping my eyes, I gaze into the mirror. I'm a complete mess. My mascara is dripping and . . . oh, it's no use. I slide down and sit on the cold tile floor. Now I realize what Paco was about to tell me. The place stinks; it really reeks . . . almost to the point where I want to throw up. I put my hand over my nose, trying to ignore the offending smell. *** After locking the door behind him, he crouches beside me and takes me in his arms, pulling me close. Then he sniffs a few times. "Holy shit. Was Paco in here?" I nod. He smoothes my hair and mutters something in Spanish. *** She, too, sniffs a bunch of times. "Was Paco in here?" Alex and I nod. "What the fuck does that guy eat that it comes out his other end smelling so rotten? Dammit," she says, wadding up tissue and putting it over her nose.

The bathroom. An ingenious idea. When we reached it, I turned to Noah. “I’m going to be in here for a while. You probably don’t want to wait.” I only briefly caught the horrified expression on his face before I pushed open the door with overwhelming force. Win.

That's the kind of trouble you get when diverse groups of people actually cross paths with one another. That's why many of the worst things in the world happen in and around Starbucks bathrooms.

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.

THE DAY I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF It was afternoon and the razor reflected the sky like like a mirror. The bath towels were white like the bathtub and my wrists were white like the towels. The bathwater got lukewarm. The afternoon turned into late afternoon and I was still pulling ropes of air into my lungs like a sailor. The razor reflected the sunset. The bathwater got cold. The bath towels were white like the bathtub and my wrists were white like the towels.

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.