Best 127 quotes in «bathroom quotes» category

In high school I was an outcast I wasn't cool to hang out with. I ate my lunch in a bathroom stall because that was the one place I could go where I wouldn't been seen.

In really fancy restaurants they never point to the bathroom, they just gesture toward the bathroom or they'll lead you to the bathroom. The fancier the restaurant, the less pointing there is.

I smoke so much. Three packs a day... I went to the bathroom, a camel came out of my ass.

I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.

I share it here because something was about to occur on that bathroom floor that would change forever the progression of my life..what happened was that I started to pray.

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue!

I started singing in the bathroom, ... Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.

I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS.

I still get nervous on dates. I'll be sitting at dinner with a guy and I have to excuse myself and go to the bathroom because I can't breathe.

It annoys the hell out of me when people say, This is the kitchen, and this is the bathroom. What am I, Helen Keller? I mean, it's pretty obvious when you're in a kitchen and when you're not.

It is easier for me to take ten good pictures in an airplane bathroom than in the gardens at Versailles.

Love dries up, I thought as I walked back to the bathroom, even faster than sperm.

It's Major Ketchup in the bathroom with the laser scalpel." "Hmm." He sliced a delicately herbed spear of asparagus. "Obviously we were meant for each other as I can interpret that as you meaning something more like Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick.

I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.

I've never turned blue in someone else's bathroom. I consider that the height of bad manners.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

Lore? Tell me what Sin said about you being tortured wasn't true,' He didn't look at her as he moved toward the bathroom. 'It wasn't true.' 'You're lying.' 'You told me to.

Kitten, when did you get so tall? (Ravyn) I grew while you were in the bathroom. (Erika)

Making music for Radiohead is like going to the bathroom, I'm just going to the bathroom constantly, and millions are watching me go to the bathroom.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Marriage is two people in love standing in the same bathroom

Most writers, including myself, had to endure a lot of rejections before finally getting published. You could wallpaper a sizeable bathroom with the rejection slips I have received. Don't ever give up!

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother.

My pet peeve is hearing a knock on the bathroom door followed by the familiar words, 'What are you doing in there?

My understanding of Twitter was that it was a bunch of famous people telling you when they're going to the bathroom. And, that was not something I wanted to be part of.

People always tell me I'm too modest, and that I'm allowed to tell myself now and then that I'm good at something. Well okay then, the bathroom is very (beautiful) clean right now.

Never discuss the poem you contemplate writing. It's like turning on the outside spigot. It takes all the pressure off the upstairs bathroom.

Oh, cold world -- I have grown so weary of you and all your horrible bathrooms.

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Repeat: Sharing the kids bathroom while my master bath gets renovated is family bonding. So fun.

People forget that public people and celebrities, they too have to go to the bathroom and get divorced.

Regarding punishment, we've learned from the downfall of Harvey Weinstein and other famous men not only that times have changed, but also that ostracism is an efficient tool. It reminds me of the tradition of bathroom lists of sexual assaulters at Brown beginning in 1990. Back then the administrators called the students who wrote them "magic marker terrorists" and threatened them with expulsion if caught. Now a Shitty Media Men list can dominate the news for days as HR departments across the coasts hastily assess their employees and their liability.

Rude staff, bad lighting, and dirty bathrooms are all signs of a bad restaurant and a good reason to leave a restaurant!

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Some people out there think everything I do is a publicity stunt, they think when I go to the bathroom it's a publicity stunt.

Sometimes, all it takes to save people from a terrible fate is one person willing to do something about it. Even if that "something" is a fake bathroom break.

That's something that I learned when I was homeless. Hotels are awesome because they are going to let you in and you can use the bathroom and when you're young and pretty you can probably use the pool. Somebody might by you a drink.

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances.

The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.

The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].

The motion picture made in Hollywood, if it is to create art at all, must do so within such strangling limitations of subject and treatment that it is a blind wonder it ever achieves any distinction beyond the purely mechanical slickness of a glass and chromium bathroom.

These people who build houses with 13 bathrooms and so on, there's something wrong with them.

The paperless society is about as plausible as the paperless bathroom.

There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.

The secret of marriage is: separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.