Best 127 quotes in «bathroom quotes» category

I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart.

I've never turned blue in someone else's bathroom. I consider that the height of bad manners.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.

Kitten, when did you get so tall? (Ravyn) I grew while you were in the bathroom. (Erika)

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it.

Lore? Tell me what Sin said about you being tortured wasn't true,' He didn't look at her as he moved toward the bathroom. 'It wasn't true.' 'You're lying.' 'You told me to.

Love dries up, I thought as I walked back to the bathroom, even faster than sperm.

Most writers, including myself, had to endure a lot of rejections before finally getting published. You could wallpaper a sizeable bathroom with the rejection slips I have received. Don't ever give up!

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about

Making music for Radiohead is like going to the bathroom, I'm just going to the bathroom constantly, and millions are watching me go to the bathroom.

Marriage is two people in love standing in the same bathroom

My pet peeve is hearing a knock on the bathroom door followed by the familiar words, 'What are you doing in there?

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother.

Oh, cold world -- I have grown so weary of you and all your horrible bathrooms.

My understanding of Twitter was that it was a bunch of famous people telling you when they're going to the bathroom. And, that was not something I wanted to be part of.

Never discuss the poem you contemplate writing. It's like turning on the outside spigot. It takes all the pressure off the upstairs bathroom.

Some people out there think everything I do is a publicity stunt, they think when I go to the bathroom it's a publicity stunt.

Regarding punishment, we've learned from the downfall of Harvey Weinstein and other famous men not only that times have changed, but also that ostracism is an efficient tool. It reminds me of the tradition of bathroom lists of sexual assaulters at Brown beginning in 1990. Back then the administrators called the students who wrote them "magic marker terrorists" and threatened them with expulsion if caught. Now a Shitty Media Men list can dominate the news for days as HR departments across the coasts hastily assess their employees and their liability.

Repeat: Sharing the kids bathroom while my master bath gets renovated is family bonding. So fun.

People always tell me I'm too modest, and that I'm allowed to tell myself now and then that I'm good at something. Well okay then, the bathroom is very (beautiful) clean right now.

People forget that public people and celebrities, they too have to go to the bathroom and get divorced.

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Rude staff, bad lighting, and dirty bathrooms are all signs of a bad restaurant and a good reason to leave a restaurant!

Sometimes, all it takes to save people from a terrible fate is one person willing to do something about it. Even if that "something" is a fake bathroom break.

The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the toilet entirely.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

That's something that I learned when I was homeless. Hotels are awesome because they are going to let you in and you can use the bathroom and when you're young and pretty you can probably use the pool. Somebody might by you a drink.

The bathroom scale knows nothing of extenuating circumstances.

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.

There should be a new, more honest euphemism. Like, I'm leaving office because I plan to solicit more anonymous sex in bathrooms.

These people who build houses with 13 bathrooms and so on, there's something wrong with them.

The motion picture made in Hollywood, if it is to create art at all, must do so within such strangling limitations of subject and treatment that it is a blind wonder it ever achieves any distinction beyond the purely mechanical slickness of a glass and chromium bathroom.

The only bit of logic-based public bathroom humor I know is: the difference between men and women is that between the statement [P and not Q] and the statement [Q and not P].

The paperless society is about as plausible as the paperless bathroom.

The secret of marriage is: separate bedrooms and separate bathrooms.

They're a damn nuisance - I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.

Through the small tall bathroom window the December yard is gray and scratchy, the tree calligraphic.

What exactly did we learn in kindergarten? Nothing we wouldn't have learned if we;d stayed home. Okay, we learned that sometimes, by the time you get to the bathroom, it's too late.

Use only things you find around the bathroom to create something. Extra credit: make it in the bathroom!

We are a nation of 20 million bathrooms, with a humanist in every tub.

Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

We had a one bedroom, one bathroom, one closet apartment with four girls.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

What kind of guardian are you? Shouldn't you have gone to the bathroom with him?" Isabelle demanded. Jordan looked horrified. "Dudes," he said, "do not follow other dudes to the bathroom.

What is it with you and girls’ bathrooms?

When you're in prison, there's no hiding. These women are not hiding behind towels and shower curtains. They go to the bathroom with no doors on the stalls. It would actually look weird, if these women were hiding.

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?

You can talk about movies all you want, but I have this porcelain fetish. I've had it since I was a kid, because there were so many kids in my family, the only place I had any solace was in the bathroom.