Best 127 quotes in «bathroom quotes» category

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    I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

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    I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of my lungs.

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    In 1969 America put the man on the moon. In 2016 America put the man in the women's bathroom.

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    No, I've been doing this myself forever. I could have gone in here myself, but my daddy doesn't want me to get raped. That happens all the time in bathrooms.

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    No, I don't work here, I'm taking pictures of messy bathrooms for a photo essay on the American West. But I'm always up for clean, so if you want to pitch in, I've got Pine Sol and a sponge in my car... It's that VW microbus parked next to the dumpster, and you don't need a key, just pull hard.

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    No doubt, the toilet must have come alive and regurgitated all over the floor and walls. The putrid water is still trickling from the bowl.

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    Oh, God, it's early," he groaned. "Hell. Well, at least I can grab the bathroom first." Claire jumped to her feet. "What time is it?" "Nine," he said, and yawned again. She reached over him, pushed the hidden button, dashed past him to the door, barely remembering to shed the afghan on the way. "Hey! Dibs on the bathroom! I mean it!" She grabbed her clothes and jumped in the bathroom just as Shane, still yawning, stumbled out of the hidden room. "But I called dibs!" he said, and knocked on the door. "Dibs! Damn girls don't understand the rules....

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    [about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

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    Paco is walking out of the bathroom and I rush past him. "You might want to wait before you--" Paco's voice fades as I close the door, locking myself in. Wiping my eyes, I gaze into the mirror. I'm a complete mess. My mascara is dripping and . . . oh, it's no use. I slide down and sit on the cold tile floor. Now I realize what Paco was about to tell me. The place stinks; it really reeks . . . almost to the point where I want to throw up. I put my hand over my nose, trying to ignore the offending smell. *** After locking the door behind him, he crouches beside me and takes me in his arms, pulling me close. Then he sniffs a few times. "Holy shit. Was Paco in here?" I nod. He smoothes my hair and mutters something in Spanish. *** She, too, sniffs a bunch of times. "Was Paco in here?" Alex and I nod. "What the fuck does that guy eat that it comes out his other end smelling so rotten? Dammit," she says, wadding up tissue and putting it over her nose.

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    Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again..." "...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?" "Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?

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    That's the kind of trouble you get when diverse groups of people actually cross paths with one another. That's why many of the worst things in the world happen in and around Starbucks bathrooms.

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    The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household.

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    To me bathtubs are the epitome of luxury. Either you have no money to own one or you have no time to use one.

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    The bathroom. An ingenious idea. When we reached it, I turned to Noah. “I’m going to be in here for a while. You probably don’t want to wait.” I only briefly caught the horrified expression on his face before I pushed open the door with overwhelming force. Win.

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    THE DAY I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF It was afternoon and the razor reflected the sky like like a mirror. The bath towels were white like the bathtub and my wrists were white like the towels. The bathwater got lukewarm. The afternoon turned into late afternoon and I was still pulling ropes of air into my lungs like a sailor. The razor reflected the sunset. The bathwater got cold. The bath towels were white like the bathtub and my wrists were white like the towels.

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    There are four categories of questions Emmily asks: 1. Can I please go to the bathroom? 2. Where is the bathroom? 3. Is it okay if I raise my hand and ask a question? 4. I don't understand anything you've said in the last thirty minutes. Could you explain it again? Also the last six weeks.

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    A bathroom should be sterile and beautiful and functional. It should exude Japanese-style purity.

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    Acting is like painting pictures on bathroom tissues. Ten minutes later you throw them away and they are gone.

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    After about 25 fights you don't always have to keep going to the bathroom before the fight.

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    As a general guideline, never marry anyone that you can't picture helping you go to the bathroom.

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    All I'm thinking about today is cleaning my bathroom.

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    At Disneyland, you never go backstage - even when youre in the bathroom.

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    As for the British churchman, he goes to church as he goes to the bathroom, with the minimum of fuss and no explanation if he can help it.

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    But I've swallowed my pride before, that's for sure. I'm practically lined with my mistakes on the inside like a bad-wallpapered bathroom.

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    Dudes," He said, "Do not follow other dudes to the bathroom." Isabelle sighed. "Latent homosexual panic will do you in every time

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    Did you really think I was too fragile to know what Deryn was?" "Fragile?" Volger looked about. "I hadn't thought so, but now I find you brooding in a bathroom. This doesn't speak well of your sturdiness.

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    Everybody needs a seashell in her bathroom to remind her the ocean is her home.

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    Everybody knows that only creeps put cameras in the bathroom.

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    At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

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    EVE:so thats the bathroom where shane spends houres doing his hair shane:bite me

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    Fang (sarcasticaly): Go pick out a tree and I'll carve our initials in it. Max: (screams and goes in the bathroom)

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    I am going to be working on bathroom fittings for a company in the USA, and then I thought it was appropriate to simplify the fittings and, thus, lowering the cost.

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    I actually called a touchdown on national TV in the NFL while going to the bathroom.

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    I can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.

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    Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.

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    I completely bombed the audition... I was insecure, stopping and starting. I went to the bathroom and cried.

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    I couldn't even go to the bathroom alone. My mother or a social worker always went with me.

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    I don't like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom.

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    I can't go to the cinema. I go to the bathroom in a petrol station and people come in there for autographs. It's tough but I knew that was going to be the case.

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    I don't think having separate bathrooms is a key to a successful marriage, if you love one another.

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    I don't want to be like the actor who rehearses everything in the bathroom, then comes to the set and carries on completely uninterrupted while the other actors tiptoe away.

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    I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.

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    I do have a fantasy life in which I can grout bathrooms - but not for a living.

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    If I'm stuck, I get up from my chair and I wash windows. Or... clean the bathroom. Or vacuum the attic. There's always something to be done.

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    I guess I'm not that metrosexual. My bathroom cabinet is hardly overflowing with products. I only really have my stuff for shaving. I can't honestly say I moisturise, though I probably should.

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    I had a hard time with bullying. I ate lunch in the bathroom.

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    I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

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    I had a stalker who was extremely violent. He broke into the studio with knives and I was locked in a bathroom.

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    If I had to pick one artist to tile my bathroom I would go with MC Escher.

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    (I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom.

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