Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

  • By Anonym

    As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

  • By Anonym

    Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

    • sarcasm quotes
  • By Anonym

    Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer.

  • By Anonym

    A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

  • By Anonym

    Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

  • By Anonym

    Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

  • By Anonym

    Canada has a passive-aggressive culture, with a lot of sarcasm and righteousness. That went with my weird messianic complex. The ego is a fascinating monster. I was taught from a young age that I had to serve, so that turned into me thinking I had to save the planet.

  • By Anonym

    Better never than late.

  • By Anonym

    Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.

  • By Anonym

    Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

  • By Anonym

    Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

  • By Anonym

    Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.

  • By Anonym

    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

  • By Anonym

    Crime is rampant. We even steal away from responsibility.

  • By Anonym

    Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

  • By Anonym

    Don't consider sarcasm the 'be-all' and 'end-all' of verbal intercourse. Far too many people place way too much importance on the sarcasm instead of the talking, in and of itself, as a precious shared experience between people.

  • By Anonym

    Don't be humble... you're not that great.

  • By Anonym

    don't be angry with the gentleman for thinking, whatever be the cause, for I assure you he makes no common practice of offending in that way.

  • By Anonym

    Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

  • By Anonym

    Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

    • sarcasm quotes
  • By Anonym

    Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

    • sarcasm quotes
  • By Anonym

    Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

  • By Anonym

    Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

  • By Anonym

    Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos.

  • By Anonym

    For some reason that only a sociologist might be able to accurately explain, the Brazilian Press was extremely unkind to me, reporting only selective derogatory untruthful rumors (some of which are still around), harsh criticism, and unwarranted sarcasm. I was very hurt by this. It was such great disappointment... When I came back from Brazil at that time, I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever again sing in Brazil. So far [as of 2002], I have kept this promise, having declined each and every invitation or proposals to perform in Brazil. Once was enough!

  • By Anonym

    For your information, I would like to ask a question.

  • By Anonym

    He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was enraptured. It was a rare and sweet look for him, reminding me of the tortured artist that lived beneath the sarcasm. I liked that about Adrian—not the tortured part, but the way he could feel so deeply and then transform those emotions into art.

  • By Anonym

    Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

  • By Anonym

    Growing up and living in England, I'm surrounded by grey skies and sarcasm, so when I came to America, my first impressions were bright, hopeful, cheerful.

  • By Anonym

    He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

  • By Anonym

    Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

    • sarcasm quotes
  • By Anonym

    He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

  • By Anonym

    He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

  • By Anonym

    His ignorance is encyclopedic.

  • By Anonym

    History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

  • By Anonym

    how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

  • By Anonym

    Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.

  • By Anonym

    His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.

  • By Anonym

    History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

  • By Anonym

    History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

    • sarcasm quotes
  • By Anonym

    I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

  • By Anonym

    I always get the better when I argue alone.

  • By Anonym

    I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

  • By Anonym

    I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

  • By Anonym

    I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold I almost got married.

  • By Anonym

    I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand.

    • sarcasm quotes
  • By Anonym

    I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

  • By Anonym

    I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

  • By Anonym

    I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

  • By Anonym

    I'd to do more stuff with less sarcasm.