Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Melissa,' Graham growled. 'Really? I've always thought it brings out my eyes.

Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.

Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

Sarcasm is lost in print.

Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.

Sarcasm... the protest of those who are weak.

Sarcasm is the protest of the weak.

Sarcasm was a weapon for children.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful," I said, already feeling myself warming up. "And delivered to me entirely without pain." The Morrigan sucker-punched me hard in the face, sending me sprawling in the snow and breaking my nose. "You spoke too soon and with entirely too much sarcasm," she said. "We could have parted with a kiss. Remember that.

South Sea natives who have been exposed to American movies classify them into two types, 'kiss-kiss' and 'bang-bang.

That's because we keep weapons int the attic, silly boy. Do you think this is the first time monsters have attacked our family?" "Weapons," Frank grumbled. "Right. I've never handled weapons before." Grandmother's nostrils flared. "Was that sarcasm, Fai Zhang?" "Yes, Grandmother." "Good. There may be hope for you yet.

That's enough of that," Jesse said. Next thing I knew, he'd scooped me up. Only instead of carrying me to my bed and setting me down on it all romantically, you know, like guys do to girls in the movies, he just dumped me onto it, so I bounced around and would have fallen off if I hadn't grabbed the edge of the mattress. "Thanks," I said, not quite able to keep all of the sarcasm out of my voice.

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

Stay with me; I want to be alone

The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once.

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself. Check yourself against this list of obstacles to a pleasing personality: interrupting others; sarcasm; vanity; being a poor listener; insincere flattery; finding fault; challenging others without good cause; giving unsolicited advice; complaining; attitude of superiority; envy of others' success; poor posture and dress.

The best philosophical attitude to adopt towards the world is a union of the sarcasm of gaiety with the indulgence of contempt.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

The monkey is an organized sarcasm upon the human race.

The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult.

The more repression there is, the more need there is for irreverence toward those who are responsible for that repression. But too often sarcasm passes for irony, name-calling passes for insight, bleeped-out four-letter words pass for wit, and lowest-common-denominator jokes pass for analysis. Satire should have a point of view. It doesn't have to get a belly laugh. It does have to present criticism.

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if it were.

"There are one or two elementary rules to be observed in the way of handling patients," he remarked, seating himself on the table and swinging his legs. "The most obvious is that you must never let them see that you want them. It should be pure condescension on your part seeing them at all; and the more difficulties you throw in the way of it, the more they think of it. Break your patients in early, and keep them well to heel.

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

There are too many confusing things present. Things I know. Thoughts I have. Sarcasm. Things I think I ought to be doing and places I ought to be going. Always other places.

There are several differences between a footballl game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also there are more injuries at a football game.

The secret of a successful restaurant is sharp knives.

There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!

The right of education of the female sex, as it is in a manner everywhere neglected, so it ought to be generally lamented. Most in this depraved later age think a woman learned and wise enough if she can distinguish her husband's bed from another's.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.