Best 390 quotes in «british quotes» category

There is so much oil now in the Gulf of Mexico, and you can thank the folks of British Petroleum for this, so much oil in the Gulf, you can now park on it.

There's nothing worse than the British in one of their fits of morality.

There's nothing the British like better than a bloke who comes from nowhere, makes it, and then gets clobbered.

There's something whimsical, satirical, and silly about British humor, which Americans have always enjoyed, and lots of us come over here because we have an audience of people who enjoy it.

The way British publishing works is that you go from not being published no matter how good you are, to being published no matter how bad you are.

The rest of Europe tends to be very comfortable with sexuality. The British and the Americans are kind of hung up about it.

There will be no more British guys. Unless they are members of the royal family, of course.

There will be a quick rash of hairy American filth, but it shouldn't threaten the existence of decent, serious British filth.

The United States can tell you all about what's wrong with the British, to say nothing of the Russians.

The US head of state grew up on food stamps. The British head of state grew up on the postage stamps.

We had our British background of traditional theatre behind us.

Tip to all British tabloids: Do Not Hack Amy Winehouse's Phone. I repeat: Do Not Hack Amy Winehouse's Phone.

To me, the [British] Open is the tournament I would come to if I had to leave a month before and swim over.

We Americans only voted for George Bush to prove to the British that Americans understand irony. Unfortunately, it kinda backfired.

We know no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its periodical fits of morality.

We know British Muslims, in general, abhor the actions of the extremists.

Well, I'm British. I'm proud to be British and I love this country. I'm going nowhere.

Well British troops are superb in the field in terms of conflict.

When I drove for British teams... they called me The Tadpole because I was too small to be a frog.

We were German-Americans in a British colony, so we were outsiders.

What? Don't British women know how to use their knees?

What I hope is in five years' time, I can go to the British people in the election and say: Lots of you doubted that coalition politics worked, but it has worked.

When I'm just walking around, I swap between the British and the American, and when I'm with my family I'm with my Nigerian accent.

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?

When we strengthen our relations with the Gulf states, when we cooperate with the Arabs, everybody asks if we are looking for a new geopolitical place. But in the Middle East and the Gulf, you can find German, French and British goods everywhere. German relations to these states are very good, as are English and French relations. Does this make them Arab-oriented?

When young I did my best to undo that bit of the British Empire I found myself in: that is, old Southern Rhodesia.

Winston Churchill was not entirely British. His mother was American, making Sir Winston part Iroquois Indian.

With or without the Royals, we are not Americans. Nor are we British. Or French. Or Void. We are something else. And the sooner we define this, the better.

You know, not even your British Queen is called just Elizabeth - she's Elizabeth the Second. There's only one Imelda.

When I was a child we were sufficiently well off for me to be a picky eater and I still cannot eat vegetables cooked in the traditional British manner.

When the weather's good, there's no better place to be than the British countryside.

You know what? I'm really attracted to British women, there's something innately proper about them. However badly they behave their accent is so cute that it makes up for everything!

According to them, everyone wants to be English. Being English is the best thing in the world. (Far behind, the second best thing is being God himself.)

A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff.

Cavendish was a great Man with extraordinary singularities—His voice was squeaking his manner nervous He was afraid of strangers & seemed when embarrassed to articulate with difficulty—He wore the costume of our grandfathers. Was enormously rich but made no use of his wealth... Cavendish lived latterly the life of a solitary, came to the Club dinner & to the Royal Society: but received nobody at his home. He was acute sagacious & profound & I think the most accomplished British Philosopher of his time.

Ah. And then you kill him." "No," Arkwright replied patiently. "We are British. We avoid murder if we can help it.{...}

His work was so great that it cannot be compassed in a few words. His death is one of the greatest losses ever to occur to British science. {Describing Ernest Rutherford upon his death at age 66. Thomson, then 80 years old, was once his teacher.}

Am I bothered? Am I bothered though. I ain't doing nothing cause I ain't bothered.

Americans had endured centuries of patronization by the British. One became inured to it after a while.

All we can infer (from the archaeological shards dug up in Berkshire, Devon and Yorkshire) is that the first Britons, whoever they were and however they came, arrived from elsewhere. The land (Britain) was once utterly uninhibited. Then people came.

As a British person living in the USA, I keep a low profile on Independence Day, July 4th.

Anyone who has used that comforting phrase 'a nice cup of tea' invariably means Indian tea.

A sad, plangent music. In the British camp, Sharpe thought, they would be singing, but no one was singing here.

As a measure of our consternation, one or two people nearly put down their cups of tea.

As a rule the Holloywood pattern for English actors is simple. They are delighted to go, they are told there is a lot of work for them if they stick it out, they tell everyone how fabulous it is, they spend all their money - and then they come home. It seems to take from two to six years.

A selection of quotes from The Night of Harrison Monk’s Death (Jane Hetherington's Adventures in Detection: 1) "Is this one of the more unusual cases of safe-breaking you've been asked to investigate, Mrs Hetherington?" "Remember your private detective wants to be able to sleep soundly at night and in their own bed, not one supplied as her Majesty's pleasure." "It seems to be an open and shut case doesn't it? But it's not you know? How do you know if anything is what it seems?" "But where is Cheung kin?" "When I first set eyes on your father, he was spying on a man from between two volumes of the Encyclopaedia Britannica." "I don't think I need say more." "On the contrary, if you want me to have any idea what you're talking about, I think you do." "Why don't you report it to the police?" "Because I stole it in the first place didn't I?" "It's something of a mystery, I admit." "Vanished into thin air!" "You sound so sensible Mrs Hetherington. Please help us get to the bottom of this." Ah, thought Jane – the old story. "No body was found?" "Shall I put the kettle on?" "Only if you fill it with whiskey." "The course of true love didn't run smoothly for me either, you know." "Life has its tragedies for sure." "… What do I want? I want money that's what I want. I want money." She was even more horrified by the words she heard next. Callum MacCallum knew what it was like to be an outsider.

Britain: the land of embarrassment and breakfast.

Boasting about modesty is typical of the English.

At no point during the making of this book have I inverted my penis although I did go to Blackpool which turned out to be almost as painful.

But for the most part, people - of the right kind - are good. For them I put on my corset of cheerfulness, a solid serviceable garment. It holds in the bulgings and oozings of emotion, and soon I find they are, temporarily, stilled.