Best 86 quotes of Lily Tomlin on MyQuotes

9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.

And yet humanity is so not evolved that how can you expect anything absolutely major to happen? Look how long, we move ahead in technology, how much do we move ahead in morality or emotion? We move ahead so minimally, minimally, minimally.

Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.

But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.

Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.

Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?

Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up.

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

Growing up in Michigan was fine...until I realized where I was.

Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory.

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.

I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that.

If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.

If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.

I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.

I'm not a religious person. I don't have any desire. To me it's imitative of a conventional culture. I'm all for it for anybody. I totally have a free and open feeling about how other humans want to live their lives. It's just not something that has any real significance for me.

I never thought of myself as any kind of a film star, as many films as I've made - and I've made some really fun movies with good people. I've always been paired with someone because I'm not really box office, in that carrying-a-picture sense. I've always been busy, but not in the spotlight.

Infinity is just time on an ego trip.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone

I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.

I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won't.

I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.

I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn't want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.

I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.

I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable.

I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.

I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means.

I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.

Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.

My space chums think my unique hookup with humanity could be evolution's awkward attempt to jump-start itself up again. They're thinking just maybe, going crazy could be the evolutionary process trying to hurry up mind expansion. Maybe my mind didn't snap. Maybe it was just trying to stretch itself into a new shape. The cerebral cortex trying to grow a thumb of sorts.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.

People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Reality is nothing more than a collective hunch.