Best 78 quotes in «penis quotes» category

Lord, she really hoped that was his penis and that Greek gods didn’t pad their briefs.

Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.

Mother said, haven't you seen older boys of your age, that you should take your rotten hands and play with my son's penis? I held my mouth, and i really stiffled a giggle. Now i understood the bloody vexation and the reckless act performed by our housegirl. She was fondling my infant part, and i knew she was horny and lost in the act.

NASSER: (about OMAR): Haven't you trained him up to look after you, like I have done with my girls? PAPA: He brushes the dust from one place to another. He squeezes shirts and heats soup. But that hardly stretches him. Though his food stretches me. It's only for a few months, yaar. I'll send him to college in the autumn. NASSER: (VO) He failed once. He has this chronic laziness that runs in our family except for me. PAPA: If his arse gets lazy - kick it. I'll send a certificate giving permission. And one more thing. Try and fix him up with a nice girl. I'm not sure if his penis is in full working order.

Nor did Kevin go, “Ew-w,” when he pulled his penis out and it was brown and smelly, and that, too, Guy considered a rite de passage.

Not everyone knows what it is to have your father’s rival’s penis inches from your nose.

Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.

My dick’s wisdom impeded my ability to have meaningless intercourse.

Now he had chanced on one of he standard hard-on sessions of the shower, as on both sides of him and across the room three queens sported horizontal members which they turned around from time to time to conceal or display, barely exchanging looks as they resolved. The old men took no interest in this activity, knowing perhaps from long experience that it rarely meant anything or led anywhere, was a brief and helpless surrender to the forcing-house of the shower. In a few seconds the hard-on might pass from one end of the room to the other with the foolish perfection of a Busby Berkeley routine.

On Religion - I compare the god of the Christian bible to a psychotic, jealous girlfriend. Who else but a crazy girlfriend would demand that a man mutilate his penis as a sign that he loves her? Who else but a crazy boyfriend would do it?!

Pride starts with the penis.

One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size of their stretch marks.

She was not prepared to say every man was the same, but the majority were, because the instincts came with the package. With the penis.

Size definitely counts: some things are too small … and some are too big.

Now, that’s what you call a vicious French queen. I never discussed your penis size – ” “Bet you did,” Kevin said, “at the beginning. I’ve heard the way gay guys talk at the gym. Nothing’s sacred. Not even my poor little penis.

Now, the penis is round, and the anus is round, while the vagina’s opening is long and narrow; clearly then Nature designed the penis to fit into the anus, not into the vagina.

She sighed wickedly. “I wasn’t even saying good-bye to him, but to his penis. Ten inches. I measured it myself with my mother’s measuring tape.” “Shitshitshit. I’ll never let you come near me with a measuring tape.” “I won’t, I swear.

Something girls never understood about poker night. The real point of the card play was to razz. Razzing calls forth unbridled farm-boy humour, earthy by some standards. The best quip involves belittling someone else's penis, or turning it back on the sayer, or both.

Suostun halaukseen. Olen nimenomaan halattava, Rose kietoo kätensä lanteideni ympäri ja puristaa itseään vasten. Alkaa saman tien seistä. En mahda sille mitään, minulla seisoo nyt pienimmästäkin läheisyydestä, asioiden tilan sanelema pakollinen selibaatti on palauttanut minut takaisin seitsemäntoistavuotiaan tilaan Penis on todellakin idioottimainen elin. Se ei tajua mitään eikä välitä mistään. Se on aina valmis. Se ei tunne murheita eikä kanna vastuuta aiheuttamistaan ongelmista, esimerkiksi tällaisista.

She swallowed. He was covered, of course, but she knew what lay beneath the sheets- she'd seen him entirely nude at the Lords' revels. She had the image burned into her memory: a proud, thick penis, heavy sac, and curling midnight hair. If the coverlet slipped just a little bit downward, she would see the upper edge of that nest of black hair. The thought made her press her thighs together under her dress. Did he know how his body affected her?

Take off your damned wrapper! The old buffer ordered, looking intensely at her lower part. Comfort was on her knees, rubbing the old man's dirty feet. All her plea and tears continually worsen the whole matter. I want to do you harder cos you gonna be fucked by other folks who needs a large hole, said the man, moving towards her. Comfort struggled with all her feminine might, but the old masculine but old man ripped her wrapper and slapped her on the face. Lie here, Lie here! I'm gonna do what your old man did to your mama and its gonna sweet you. She screamed as the man's organ prick her glory hole like a sharp needle.

The Beautiful Poem" I go to bed in Los Angeles thinking about you. Pissing a few moments ago I looked down at my penis affectionately. Knowing it has been inside you twice today makes me feel beautiful.

The CEO knew cocks were bad for business. Breasts she could get away with. Women knew their place, but with men it wasn’t as simple.

The face is like a penis.

The heart, said to be man’s noblest organ, has the same shape as the penis, commonly supposed the most ignoble; the symbolism is not inappropriate, because the love which comes from the heart soon extends to the organ which it resembles.

The kangaroo has a double penis - one for week days and one for holidays.

The massive lump of flesh that has created you, me, and maybe, animals, everything that has life will forever live.

Then she heard tiny moaning noises coming from the direction of the object. It sounded almost human. She couldn’t leave without knowing what it was. She approached it, reached out, and lifted the branch. About as long as her hand and pink, it resembled a piece of flesh. She identified it immediately…after all, she’d seen another one just this morning. It was a penis. One side had a rounded end, bisected by a gentle indentation with a small irregular hole in the center. On the other end, it still bore its testicles in their dark red sac. If it had ever belonged to a man, the wound had disappeared completely, as Vesper could see no place where it appeared hacked off or scarred.

The proximity of Mary filled him with excitement; he had to work to slow his breathing. A drop, another drop – he was flicking his penis dry. It grew long and thin, the corona pointed and cleft like a hoof.

The silent horror of Archie's ordeal had been temporarily replaced by the howling, agonising pain of the blood refusing to drain from his penis, the end of which was a deep purple verging on black where Officer Griff had tested how hard it was by using the back of his hand to give it a solid twang.

The use of reason and that of an erect penis are mutually exclusive.

The way to a man's heart is through his penis.

Unii ar zice ca Scorpionii sunt obsedati de sex. Dar nu penisul, ci inima mi-e organul cel mai neascultator: bate pentru altii.

When you got right down to it, my dick was the one organ that hadn’t presented itself to my consciousness through pain, only pleasure. Modest but robust, it had always served me faithfully. Or, you could argue, I had served it – if so, its yoke had been easy. It never gave me orders. It sometimes encouraged me to get out more, but it encouraged me humbly, without bitterness or anger. This past evening, I knew, it had interceded on Myriam’s behalf. It had always enjoyed good relations with Myriam, Myriam had always treated it with affection and respect, and this had given me an enormous amount of pleasure. And sources of pleasure were hard to come by. In the end, my dick was all I had.

So beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a cabbageleaf

The penis is always depicted as sufficient in itself, the genital equivalent of the Eye of Sauron.

The penis, often regarded as a weapon, is also a burden, the male curse.

Three year in prison and a dick is just another thing to put up your ass.

V-as povesti despre penisul meu, dar ar fi o poveste lunga.

While the moral force of Judeo-Christian tradition and the law have sought to purify the penis, and to restrict its seed to the sanctified institution of matrimony, the penis is not by nature a monogamous organ. It knows no moral code. It was designed by nature for waste, it craves variety, and nothing less than castration will eliminate the allure of prostitution, fornication adultery, or pornography.

After using a paint chart from a local DIY superstore to identify the skin tone of his penis as midnight chocolate, Miriam stayed down on one knee and offered him the citizenship he had always wanted and the middle-aged white woman he would grudgingly accept.

Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won't be the last time that happens.

Cody was both ashamed and astonished to learn that it was actually possible to break a penis.

At least you are back to being normal size." She gave a strangled laugh. "If the size of a cucumber on steroids is normal that is.

Because I feel as if I let it down. As if it needed something from me, I was its only hope, and now that hope is gone.' 'What penis doesn’t try to make you feel that way?

All civilized wo/men are prostitutes: Some sell what's between their legs; the rest sell what's between their ears.

A man’s bank balance is the new penis size.

And though nobody has been dumb enough to say anything close to "You need to get laid" to my face, I resent the idea that anyone might think, if they knew my history, that I'd be slightly different by virtue of having a penis-however briefly-inside me. That is some phallocentric bullshit if I ever heard any. Hypothetical penises don't make the rules. I make the rules. I love the rules.

As if adult males were completely self-sufficient beings, as if a penis and a five o’clock shadow were all they would ever need to get by.

Aw, so he used you as a penis cozy and then left? Guys are pigs.