Best 97 quotes of Dave Chappelle on MyQuotes

A celebrity, whatever I am, you get cut off sometimes from people just by circumstance.

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.

All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.

At the time, I was reading this Miles Davis book, and he was talking about coming to New York right after he was in high school. It kind of made me feel like, "Yeah." I didn't want to go to college; I wanted to do stand-up. And I figured, "What's the point of doing stand-up around DC? I'm always going to be under-appreciated there because I started there." I felt like I was strong enough and unique enough that I should give it a big leash to shine. New York was the best thing that ever happened to me as a comedian.

Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me.

Being famous is great, it's not like bad or horrible or anything.

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.

Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.

Constantly take inventory of what's important to you.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'

Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.

For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.

Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.

I don't care if I ever work in TV again.

I don't do any jokes that old. I might have maybe one or two jokes from high school that I still do.

I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.

I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.

I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me.

I don't want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.

I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.

I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you.

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.

If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn't work out, that's all I can do.

If someone sits and stares at you while you eat, you won't even eat the way you normally do, because it'll make you so uncomfortable. If I look at my dog when he's eating, he will look at me like, "Dave, I will bite you. What are you looking at? I'm trying to eat." It's something that dehumanizes a person, being on display like that.

If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

If you're Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up - that's an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it's gotta sting a little bit.

I got a lot of positive people around me.

I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it's a pretty good lifestyle.

I got my hat pulled up low and no one can really see me. I'm ducked out. People do recognize me, and I have a pretty interesting fan base. It's a diverse group.

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.

I have angst in my life, but I'm like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.

I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.

I love being famous - it's phenomenal.

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.

I'm happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn't make things easier, but I'm so much better at handling them.

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway?

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.

I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that's like the God-like part of a person.

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.

I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.