Best 81 quotes of Kathy Griffin on MyQuotes

A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.

Always and Forever is a Grandmothers love

Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It’s incredible that I didn’t die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.

I also don't have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

I am what you call a non-believer. I don't even want to say I'm an atheist because frankly I don't want to join their club either. But the point is, I am a fallen catholic, I'm not religious, and that's all well and good.

I believe fully in making fun of children. I believe very strongly that you should never make fun of an embryo or your ovaries. I am a big believer on breaking those rules. It's a case-by-case basis. But the thing is, there's so many ways to make a joke about something that is sort of maybe verboten or something.

I can criticize your religion all I want, and you can criticize mine. I don't like this whole climate of, 'You can't ever say anything bad about the group I'm in, cause every group is untouchable.' We can all criticize each other and engage in debate all we want.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material.

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

I do feel I'm kind of a magnet for crazy, and if there isn't enough crazy, I will insert myself in a situation that I feel has comedy potential.

If there is a gay army, I am their warrior princess.

If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.

I grew up in Chicago and was a huge fan of 'The Second City', so when I moved to L.A., I was looking for anything that resembled that... then I started 'The Groundlings', so I went to a show and it was very much like 'Second City'. I was so impressed that that same night I went backstage and I went up to the funniest person there.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone it's a joke!

I have a no-apology policy.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.

I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I'm still on the D-list.

I'll be honest, there's a part of me that does think I'm held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it's a little frustrating.

I love doing [stand-up]. I love making people laugh no matter how. Whether it's a commercial, or a TV show, or a reality show, or a talk show, or a special, or a book. However I can make people laugh, that's what I want to do.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

I'm a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on 'SNL', and women of color.

I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I'm not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.

I'm saying that she (Whitney Houston) looks great for a singer... the way Courtney Love is a singer.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!

I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn't get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

Life is adventure. Travel is adventure at a different address.

Most people unfamiliar with the men in a new town might search for love until they find it. I picked out some guy on my second day in LA, who worked at the local bicycle shop, and handed my virginity to him. “You can fill a tire? Sounds good to me. Let's call it a date.” Needless to say he wasn't Mr. Right.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much?

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that's just part of the deal. I'm not really sure what's going to come out of my mouth.