Best 1733 quotes in «golf quotes» category

Addressing a golf ball would seem to be a simple matter; that is, to the uninitiated who cannot appreciate that a golf ball can hold more terrors than a spacious auditorium packed with people.

A decision of the courts decided that the game of golf may be played on a Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.

A fantastic golf course and venue. It's one of those places that you always look forward to going back to...no matter how many times you have been there before.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

After hitting two balls into the water- By God, I've got a good mind to jump in and make it four.

After Michael Jordan recently criticized President Obama's golf game, Obama responded by saying that Jordan should spend more time thinking about his basketball team, the Charlotte Hornets. Then Jordan said, 'Do you really want to talk about whose team got crushed this week?'

After playing Ballybunion for the first time, a man would think that the game of golf originated here.

Age doesn't make a difference either. Whether you're 20 or 70, you can still play together. There are so many different things you can do with golf that you can't do in other sports.

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

A golf course is for golf. A tennis court is for tennis. A prison camp is for escaping.

A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.

A golf course should aspire to generate as much energy as it consumes - golf should be leading the way toward energy net zero.

A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes.

A golf ball can stop in the fairway, rough, woods, bunker or lake. With five equally likely options, very few balls choose the fairway.

A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.

A golf course outside a big town serves an excellent purpose in that it segregates, as though a concentration camp, all the idle and idiot well-to-do.

Aggressive play is a vital asset of the world's greatest golfers. However, it's even more important to the average player. Attack this game in a bold, confident, and determined way, and you'll make a giant leap toward realizing your full potential as a player.

A golfer should never make a mental mistake because the ball is just sitting there waiting for you to hit it.

A good golf course is like good music or good anything else; it is not necessarily a course which appeals the first time one plays over it, but one which grows on the player the more frequently he visits it.

A good golf course makes you want to play so badly that you hardly have the time to change your shoes.

A good player who is a great putter is a match for any golfer. A great hitter who cannot putt is a match for no one.

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.

A great deal of unnecessarily bad golf is played in this world.

Agriculture is the new golf

A hungry dog hunts best.

A leading difficulty with the average player is that he totally misunderstands what is meant by concentration. He may think he is concentrating hard when he is merely worrying.

All golfers fear the one-iron. It has no angle, no loft. The one-iron is a confidence-crusher, a fear trip, an almost guarantee of shame, failure, dumbness and humiliation if you ever use it in public.

All I want to do is do my shows and play golf.

All I do is play music and golf - which one do you want me to give up?

All other things being equal, greens break to the west.

All of a sudden I'm an expert on everything. Interviewers want your opinion on golf, foreign policy and even the price of peanuts.

All of us have an 'inner clock,' a certain pace at which we function most comfortably and effectively.

Almost a quarter of our planet is a single mountain range and we didn't enter it until after Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went to the moon. So we went to the moon, played golf up there, before we went to the largest feature on our own planet.

All seasoned players know, or at least have felt, that when you are playing your best, you are much the same as in a state of meditation. You are free of tension and chatter. You are concentrating on one thing. It is the ideal condition for good golf.

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

A lot more variables in golf. But the biggest thing is like just routine. Like I think that's the biggest correlation between golfers and basketball players, is for me I really rely on my routine every single day when I get ready for games and how I prepare.

A lot of celebrities golf because they want to be away. For them it's a chance to get away and be peaceful. For me it's peaceful to ride [cycling].

A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.

A lot of people like to think that golf is a lazy man's sport. Or it's a rich man's sport, or it's a sport that they can't be involved in.

Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans, golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.

A lot of people think I am cold and have no feelings. But I do. I just try very hard to focus and not let my emotions take over on the golf course.

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls

A major golf tournament is 40,000 sadists watching 144 masochists.

Although practice swings Can be helpful things, Twere better, indeed, not take any Than to fiddle and fret And before playing get Exhausted from taking too many.

Always count your blessings. Be thankful you are able to be out on a beautiful course. Most people in the world don't have that opportunity.

A man calls a lawyer's office. The phone is answered, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz. The man says, Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. I'm sorry, he's on vacation. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's on a big case, not available for a week. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's playing golf today. Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. Speaking.

A man who went to the 'footie' match on Saturday afternoon and played eighteen holes of golf was really doing his duty by the nation.

Americans are less mystical about what produced their inland or meadow courses; they are the product of the bulldozerm rotary ploughs, mowers, sprinkler systems and alarmingly generous wads of folding money.

And I don't really like golf. I know a lot of English footballers play, but I know that if I go with the club to play, sooner or later I will end up trying to smash the ball with my foot.