Best 411 quotes in «ass quotes» category

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

I just look at a bagel and my ass gets bigger!

I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'

I lay in bed and watched moments break into phenomenal particles of panic and could actually see the divine crack of God’s ass as he completely turned his back on me.

I learnt very early in life that whenever there is a choice between peace of mind and piece of ass, go for the former.

I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.

I listen to a lot of different kind of music. A lot of weird-ass music, like weird-ass, old Portishead.

I'll open up a can of whoop-ass on you!

I love the French language... it's a delightful language, especially to curse with. It's like whopping your ass with silk.

I'm ambidextrous, I slap ass with both hands.

I’m about to enter a national ass-kicking contest. With no legs. And a massive ass.

I make an ass clap like tap shoes.

I'm a perfectionist. It's a big pain in the ass and it takes a lot of my time, but it really is going well and I have to do my own things.

I'm an ass-kicking fat kid.

I'm definitely a nerd. I'm a cool-ass nerd, but I am definitely a nerd.

I'm a woman in a man's job and I don't have the luxury of being an ass.

I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?

I mean, even in these snow pants,check out my ass.

I'm here to chew gum and kick some ass, and I'm all out of gum.

I'm just living my life. I'm incredibly disciplined and I work incredibly hard. I show up for things on time, I do my homework, and I work my ass off. I've had a lot of luck, but I work really, really hard.

Imma violate yall asses like Chris Stokes.

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

I'm telling you this - if Stone Cold comes back out, somebody's going to get their ass whipped!

I'm not in a recession. I'm doing very, very well. I'm doing incredibly well. I just want to be honest. I really am kicking ass.

I'm the one usually wearing the dress, which is what I would've preferred, but they wouldn't let me. It's been 15 years since I did that and my ass isn't as good as it used to be.

In football you can make it if you've got the 'I'm-going-to-get-up-off-the-ground-and-kick-your-ass' attitude.

I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.

Instead of walking like you're limping, talking yang about me why don't you take your monkey ass and get a college degree?

In Hitchcock's movies you can see the storyboards and that's cool. It's nice to see a filmmaker be that prepared. Most filmmakers today have their heads up their ass, they're not nearly that prepared. He obviously had a right to say this is what I want and this is how we're doing it, because he was ready. Some filmmakers show up on the set and they don't know what they're doing. So then everyone has ideas and that makes a bad situation too. Be a director who's completely in control and yet no one knows it.

I really enjoy theater. I just went to see 'Death of a Salesman,' and it knocked me on my ass.

Investing is where you find a few great companies and then sit on your ass.

I put on the boots and kicked some monster ass.

I really don't know whether any place contains more pianists than Paris, or whether you can find more asses and virtuosos anywhere.

I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine.

I seen her on the ave, spotted her more than once. Ass so fat that you could see it from the front.

I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.

It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

I started running ultras to become a better person. I thought if you could run 100 miles you'd be in this Zen state. You'd be the Buddha, bringing peace and a smile to the world. It didn't work in my case. I'm the same old punk-ass as before, but there's always hope.

Is your head up your ass so far that you can't pull it out?

I think the one thing I would point to as a primary reason, basically, is that I was a gigantic ass, ... It's the first time I got dumped in my life.

It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you.

It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.

It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

It is not the lefty ass-kissers you have to agitate, but the objective left-wing...

It's about getting off your ass and maximizing all the opportunities that life has to offer.

It was the kind of experience, Molly said, that would grow calluses on an angel's ass.

Is there anything so grave and serious as an ass?

It is idle to play the lyre for an ass.

It's a pain in the ass, show business. And the only time that I really enjoy it is when I'm in front of an audience and they're reacting to me.

It's difficult to put your own bare ass out on the limb every time you sit down to write a poem. But that's really sort of the ideal. Because if we don't discover something about ourselves and our world in the making of a poem, chances are it's not going to be a very good poem. So what I'm saying is that a lot of our best poets could be better poets if they wrote less and risked more in what they do.