Best 411 quotes in «ass quotes» category

History tells us what works in the gym, and everything else walks down the road with a carrot in its ass.

Honestly when you do it black and white, you really have to work your ass off. Because if you make it, make it good. Otherwise, don't pretend.

How do blind people know when they're done wiping their ass?

How much further can your head get up your ass that you're actually judging someone as a person based on their sexuality before you even have a conversation with them?

How's this for a headline? 'French fries'.

How would you like to bite that in the ass, develop lock jaw and be dragged to death?

I almost resent the whole fashion thing. Good God- never wearing the same thing twice and all of those things. It's a pain in the ass.

I always figured the American public wanted a solemn ass for president, so I went along with them.

I am an old scholar, better-looking now than when I was young. That's what sitting on your ass does to your face.

I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.

I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it.

I don't know anything about you, so when you randomly come up and grab my ass, this isn't a friend doing it. It's like, "Who the f### is doing...? I was not expecting that.

I couldn't hit an elephant's ass with a bull fiddle.

I'd enjoy it if a guy grabbed my ass. I guess it all depends on how he grabbed it, too.

I didn't know this before, but as it turns out, Tyrannosaurs can really haul ass.

I am the best damn ass-kicker in the whole U.S. Army!

I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

I do know dumb-ass questions when I see dumb-ass questions.

I don't know about you, but I love showing my ass to a crew of 300 that I've been working with.

I don't know where there can be so many pianists as in Paris, so many asses and so many virtuosi.

I don't know what people expect when they meet me. They seem to be afraid that I'm going to piss in the potted palm and slap them on the ass.

I don't necessarily think of myself as a feminist, but I'm a whole person. I'm not just breasts or ass or thighs - I'm a whole being! And it just seems like women aren't necessarily striving to be the whole of themselves.

I don't think that there's that much difference between a photograph of a fist up someone's ass and a photograph of carnations in a bowl.

If anybody is getting their ass handed to them, it's not Al [Pachino]. It's coming [toward you]. I'm psychotic.

I don't want people to kick my ass, I just want to get to a point where they can't kick it.

If Britney Spears would paint her ass green, I'm sure you would spot green asses all over L.A., as soon as the word was out.

If a woman has a good ass the rest of her wil be nicely configured too, except for maybe the face. The face is always on its own.

I feel like the traditional patron system meant that you would kiss the ass of one rich person and then hide all of the financial goings-on of your work, and you could pretend you were pure.

If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ass it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.

I feel more confident in being able to be funny if I'm comfortable with the people I'm around. When you're friends with them, it just makes it all the better. Plus, shooting a movie, you're sitting on your ass for hours at a time, so if you have somebody there to mess around with and have fun, then it's great.

If I didn't kick his ass every day? he wouldn't be worth anything.

I feel more productive, mostly because I feel like my ass is on the line. Before I had kids, I would sit around, drink, I don't even know what I did with myself.

I figured I would have to tell someone to kiss my ass before it was all over, and I have -- twice.

If I were 50 years younger, I would kick your ass

If only all our conflicts could be resolved with a few grunts and a smack in the ass.

If I were someone named Mr. Ass, I'd be really worried about doing time.

If we do a sequel, I want to beat somebody's ass!

If something's bugging my ass on any particular day, I'm probably going to say something about it, but I'm not going to go on a tirade.

If the law supposes that,' said Mr Bumble...' the law is an ass - an idiot.

If you don't have a flag sticking out of your ass, you must be a communist.

If you buy something because it's undervalued, then you have to think about selling it when it approaches your calculation of its intrinsic value. That's hard. But if you buy a few great companies, then you can sit on your ass. That's a good thing.

If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.

If you fall on concrete, that's yo ass fault

If you're going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass.

If you really want to make a change, just get up off your ass and do it.

If you're going to do something, strive to do it better than anyone else. Do it all the way. If you're going to half-ass it, why bother?

If you’re afraid to defend your convictions because you might get your ass kicked for it, you’re not really fit to advocate for them.

If you're getting paid more than me, I'm definitely more excited about this ass whoopin I'm gonna put down on you.

If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.

If you're surrounded by idiots, you're the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don't like smart asses.