Best 411 quotes in «ass quotes» category

Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.

Edwyn can almost feel his testicles crawling up his ass.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

From: Christian Grey Subject: &*%$&*&* Date: August 23 2011 11:23 To: Anastasia Grey Believe me when I say there are a great many things he'd like to do to your ass right now. Firing you is not one of them. Christian Grey CEO & Ass man, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Gotta love a woman that can hand you your own ass.

Grab her ass because it's what every guy in the room wants to do. Grab her ass because nothing makes a woman feel better than the envy of other women.

He kissed the plump mellow yellow smellow melons of her rump, on each plump melonous hemisphere, in their mellow yellow furrow, with obscure prolonged provocative melonsmellonous osculation.

Have you ever been spanked?' he asked me. 'No,' I replied. 'Well, this is your lucky day.

Everything is about disclosure.... chemistry... love.... reaction... you can't do anything.... ... A pain... a biatch... pain the ass... two women... what next?

-Humph! Said Ami as she then quickly pulled ahead of me, having grown tired of my silent treatment. However, as she slipped by, I couldn’t resist quickly reaching over and flipping-up the back of her skirt, just enough to see that she had a panda on the back of her panties, my fingers never touching her ass, yet I could feel the warmth underneath. -Nice bear behind you got there! So I said She froze in mid step, and looked as if she was going to turn around, but instead she shuttered as if a tingling electric shock had gone all through her body. I then noticed that the back of her neck to the roots of her hair had turned a lobster red! Though whether that was because of embarrassment or anger or both I’m not sure. In any case, Ami’s hands became tight fists, and then with a growl like a tigress she quickly stomped off. I have actually heard a growl like that since that time. It’s the sound of a female Nepali snow leopard, in heat, just before it pounces on a potential mate.

Is no revenge of the nerds, you know what, last year when everything collapsed, all it meant was the nerds lost out once again and the jocks won. Same as always ... Some of the quants are smart, but quants come, quants go, they're just nerds for hire with a different fashion sense. The jocks may not know a stochastic crossover if it bites them on the ass, but they have that drive to thrive, they're synced in to them deep market rhythms, and that'll always beat out nerditude no matter how smart it gets.

If you never wished you were an ass, you are most probably an ass.

i recommend the phrase 'pineapple ass

I couldn't have been more shocked if he pulled a pink elephant out of his ass!

My heart can see the ass in you.

I'm the perfect girl. You read about me in Maxim or whatever. I tell dirty jokes like I'm one of the guys, and I'm sitting there in my panties and bra so you can see I'm a piece of ass in the bargain. Except I'm real, so I come with all kinds of complications.

Sitting to think of what to write will only set your ass on fire, give you headache, twist your face to look stupid, instead, walk around with a blank mind and something from somewhere will fill it up.

Someday, I’ll gain telepathic powers like every other regular movie ghost and I will go all Freddie Krueger on his bony, little, rat arse!” I rolled my eyes, but kept marching down the street. “Then I’d have to go all Ghostbusters on yours.”, I tried to keep my voice low to keep from drawing attention to myself. “No, you wouldn’t. You love my arse, darling!”, he walked backwards few feet in front of me. His big smile was enough to make me grin and roll my eyes again at him.

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

It struck me that my backside was my best asset and that keeping it hidden would be like Oedipus pulling out his eyes so that he couldn't see the errors of the past.

I've found that busting your ass on a daily basis to make your art good, clear, and meaningful creates the most luck.

Objectionable, tedious, irritating labour, - this is the condition of genius, which no doubt explains the reason why men so rarely achieve anything. Genius must submit to cultivate an ass within itself - the condition being so humiliating that man will seldom take up the job.

The average woman feels small whenever a man who has just walked past her does not turn his head to check out her ass, especially if it is—or if she feels that it is—big.

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

The ass is the face of the soul of sex.

There is nothing to compare with that moment when you are bent over his knee and feel the material chaff against your bottom as he pulls your panties down. At that second, round cheeks revealed, plump and quivering, it is like jumping out of an airplane, pulling the ripcord and waiting for the parachute to open.

The French do some things better, like spanking for instance.

There is an innate gratification in falling from grace. The supreme pleasure of love is illicit love, a feeling that you are doing wrong. Spanking girls and being a girl receiving a spanking captures that feeling, that beyond the pleasure enhanced by the pain is a sense that you are being just a little bit wicked.

What the hell was that?” he asked no-one in particular. “Did they ram us?” “Uh – negative, sir.” Marnetti offered, reading an instrumental assessment from his display, “It seems we were hit by some kind of pulse wave generated by their jump.” “Their jump? – You mean by arriving they nearly killed us?” Marnetti nodded, continuing, “Range 0.5 kilometers, Captain. Holding steady. No recognized weapons activity.” “Damage report.” He ordered, feeling his way back into his seat, eyes glued to the viewscreen. “Shield 2 down, 1 is buckling.” Pluddeman choked. “Power stable, all systems holding steady,” Marnetti added, now rubbing some bruises. “Any communications?” “Nothing, sir. Static on all frequencies.” “What are they doing?” “Nothing, sir. Waiting maybe.” “Waiting, my ass!” Dayne barked. “They must be sizing us up!

Three year in prison and a dick is just another thing to put up your ass.

Tiger resists. "WAIT. We're ALL friends HERE. What is it you wanna talk about? SEX? The new DILDO my mom bought me? Or the HAIR on my sister's ASS-

When the world kicks your ass, don't step in line. book: stuff i think about

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.

When his hand came down across my bottom the first time I thought I was going to die. But the pain passed, transmuted as if my some alchemical wizardry, and for a moment I experienced a surreal satisfaction in being bent over in this way without rights or choices, past or future. In pain you are living in the present and as the pain passes there is pleasure from having endured the pain.

Wolfgang Amadé Mozart takes pity on Leutgeb, ass, ox, and simpleton, at Vienna, March 27, 1783.

You ain't born for this shit, get your ass together and make things happen for you.

Would you like me to spank you?" he asked. He was very polite and I wasn't sure what to say. I shrugged and took a breath. "If you like," I replied. "There's a good girl. Now, come here, take your knickers down and bend over my knee." And that's what I did.

You said that you are smart, didn't you? 2112@1%, 2%1%2! 1(81%1@4 25 71@14 2)812) 2)85 6911(2) 1@52@51@ 2#11( 1(1% 511(2% So try to solve this, if you solve it... You are one smart ass!

You can't say asses in church unless you are speaking of donkeys.

A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. As a journalist you are expected to know the difference.

Aficionado my ass...I just love to smoke cigars

A fire lit under my ass? Yeah, that's true. No time to waste.

After watching mulattas shake it, I can totally understand why Brazil is devoted to my favorite body part, the ass.

Yes, the hermitage is underground--miles beneath the surface of Antarctica. And yes, Ike refers to it as unten--literally 'under' or 'below.' But, hello, it's 'hyperborean'--of or relating to the arctic, frigid, very cold. The opposite of infernally hot. Well, what if it's WAY underground down near the inner core of the earth, where it's like 10,000 degrees? Well, what if it's up your ass where it's like 10,000,000 degrees? Well, what if you're a cocksucking dwarf racist retard midget dickwad? Well, what if you're a fucking scatological-bakery urinal-cake-boss motherfucking fist-fucked cow-pie anal-fissureman motherfucker?

Accumulating injuries are the price we pay for the thrill of not having sat around on our asses.

Achieving meaningful goals requires that you commit your entire ass, not just one cheek.

A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.

After all we'd been through, we still couldn't take our heads from out of our asses or our hands from around each other's throats.

All my compatriots are asses compared to me.

A good lead-off hitter is a pain in the ass to pitchers.