Best 411 quotes in «ass quotes» category

I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

I couldn't hit an elephant's ass with a bull fiddle.

I do know dumb-ass questions when I see dumb-ass questions.

I didn't know this before, but as it turns out, Tyrannosaurs can really haul ass.

I don't know anything about you, so when you randomly come up and grab my ass, this isn't a friend doing it. It's like, "Who the f### is doing...? I was not expecting that.

I don't know what people expect when they meet me. They seem to be afraid that I'm going to piss in the potted palm and slap them on the ass.

I'd enjoy it if a guy grabbed my ass. I guess it all depends on how he grabbed it, too.

I don't know about you, but I love showing my ass to a crew of 300 that I've been working with.

I don't know where there can be so many pianists as in Paris, so many asses and so many virtuosi.

I don't think that there's that much difference between a photograph of a fist up someone's ass and a photograph of carnations in a bowl.

I don't want people to kick my ass, I just want to get to a point where they can't kick it.

If anybody is getting their ass handed to them, it's not Al [Pachino]. It's coming [toward you]. I'm psychotic.

I don't necessarily think of myself as a feminist, but I'm a whole person. I'm not just breasts or ass or thighs - I'm a whole being! And it just seems like women aren't necessarily striving to be the whole of themselves.

If Britney Spears would paint her ass green, I'm sure you would spot green asses all over L.A., as soon as the word was out.

If a woman has a good ass the rest of her wil be nicely configured too, except for maybe the face. The face is always on its own.

I feel more confident in being able to be funny if I'm comfortable with the people I'm around. When you're friends with them, it just makes it all the better. Plus, shooting a movie, you're sitting on your ass for hours at a time, so if you have somebody there to mess around with and have fun, then it's great.

If I didn't kick his ass every day? he wouldn't be worth anything.

If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ass it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.

I feel more productive, mostly because I feel like my ass is on the line. Before I had kids, I would sit around, drink, I don't even know what I did with myself.

I feel like the traditional patron system meant that you would kiss the ass of one rich person and then hide all of the financial goings-on of your work, and you could pretend you were pure.

I figured I would have to tell someone to kiss my ass before it was all over, and I have -- twice.

If only all our conflicts could be resolved with a few grunts and a smack in the ass.

If I were 50 years younger, I would kick your ass

If something's bugging my ass on any particular day, I'm probably going to say something about it, but I'm not going to go on a tirade.

If the law supposes that,' said Mr Bumble...' the law is an ass - an idiot.

If you buy something because it's undervalued, then you have to think about selling it when it approaches your calculation of its intrinsic value. That's hard. But if you buy a few great companies, then you can sit on your ass. That's a good thing.

If I were someone named Mr. Ass, I'd be really worried about doing time.

If we do a sequel, I want to beat somebody's ass!

If you fall on concrete, that's yo ass fault

If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.

If you’re afraid to defend your convictions because you might get your ass kicked for it, you’re not really fit to advocate for them.

If you're getting paid more than me, I'm definitely more excited about this ass whoopin I'm gonna put down on you.

If you really want to make a change, just get up off your ass and do it.

If you don't have a flag sticking out of your ass, you must be a communist.

If you're going to do something, strive to do it better than anyone else. Do it all the way. If you're going to half-ass it, why bother?

If you're going to talk about me behind my back, at least check out my great ass.

If you're not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback.

If you're surrounded by idiots, you're the unpopular one and the odd one out because idiots don't like smart asses.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

I had no administrative function at the New Yorker. I am what we used to call in construction back in Kansas City where I grew up "a dog-ass subcontractor.

I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking, which is, if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.

I had rather ride on an ass that carries me than a horse that throws me.

I had $60,000 for my first movie. I was 33 before I made any money off of movies. I worked my ass off for free. To get that I'm "enemy number one" among young kids is a little absurd.

I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.

I hope you're all Republicans.

I just look at a bagel and my ass gets bigger!

I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'

I learnt very early in life that whenever there is a choice between peace of mind and piece of ass, go for the former.

I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.

I listen to a lot of different kind of music. A lot of weird-ass music, like weird-ass, old Portishead.