Best 678 quotes in «attachment quotes» category

In this paper I propose the existence of two distinct presentations of DID, a Stable and an Active one. While people with Stable DID struggle with their traumatic past, with triggers that re-evoke that past and with the problems of daily functioning with severe dissociation, people with Active DID are, in addition, also engaged in a life of current, on-going involvement in abusive relationships, and do not respond to treatment in the same way as other DID patients. The paper observes these two proposed DID presentations in the context of other trauma-based disorders, through the lens of their attachment relationship. It proposes that the type, intensity and frequency of relational trauma shape—and can thus predict—the resulting mental disorder. - Through the lens of attachment relationship: Stable DID, Active DID and other trauma-based mental disorders

I realize I'm just a silly stranger goofing with other strangers for no reason far away from anything that ever mattered to me what that was--Always an ephemeral "visitor" to the Coast nevery really involved with anyone's lives there because I'm always ready to fly back across the country but not to any life of my own on the other end either, just a traveling stranger like Old Bull Balloon... (p. 178)

I smiled and looked at her- there she was with such a genuine grin and twinkle in her eyes. I kissed my mother on her forehead and took a long look in to her hazel eyes. I wondered when I would have the next chance to see her as I whispered, 'I love you." Mother didn't respond. She didn't look well- she had a tint of green and yellow to her skin and her thinning hair was a dull salt and pepper color, cut extra short and clinging to her scalp. She had no makeup on, which told me she just had no more energy. I began to walk out of her room and turned to look at her. I wanted to run up to her, shake her, and beg her to tell me she loved me and was proud of me. But when I looked at her, she was already sleeping.

I suppose you don’t care about anyone,” said Catherine. Finn paused. “I find few people are worth the effort.” “A charmer like you?” she said. “No. I don’t believe it.

I thought of Bobby, of the last look he had given me, and at that moment I understood one of the differences between man and cat: man knows he's going to die, so he can get ready and be willing, even eager, to go. A cat knows the end is near, but that's all. He can't accept death: he can't trust in it; cats are perhaps too metaphysical an entity to need to believe in the idea of a beyond; a cat is his own god and man his creation.

It is called equanimity when one has no attachment with the good (the auspicious) and no abhorrence for the bad (the inauspicious). The one without duality is in equanimity-state. In worldly interactions, people identify tolerance as equanimity!

It is considered equanimity when attachment does not arise towards someone who offers flowers and abhorrence does not arise towards someone who is pelting stones.

It is not the outer objects that entangle us. It is the inner clinging that entangles us." - Tilopa

It was my letting go that gave me a better hold.

It was told to me, it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects, and told me, as I thought, with triumph. This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested; and it has not been only once; I have had her hopes and exultations to listen to again and again. I have known myself to be divided from Edward forever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection. Nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me. I have had to content against the unkindness of his sister and the insolence of his mother, and have suffered the punishment of an attachment without enjoying its advantages. And all this has been going on at the time when, as you too well know, it has not been my only unhappiness. If you can think me capable of ever feeling, surely you may suppose that I have suffered now.

...man's sentimental attachment to objects is one of life's greatest consolations.

Maybe the mother manages to be a mirror only part of the time. In such 'tantalizing' cases, some babies learn to withdraw their own needs when the mother's are evident.

In this world, there is nothing that ‘I’ like, nor is there anything that ‘I’, dislike!

In unfavorable circumstances, kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed) occur, and in favorable circumstances, more kashays occur. However, the kashays of favorable circumstances are cold. Those are raag kashays (attachment kashays) and they include greed and deceit. Whereas, in unfavorable circumstances, there are dwesh kashays (abhorrence kashays) such as anger and pride.

In whatever work that you do in this world, the work has no value. You will be ‘binding responsibility’ for next life only if there is attachment and abhorrence involved in it. There is no responsibility if the attachment and abhorrence do not occur.

It is regarded as axiomatic that parents have more power then children. This is an inescapable biological fact; young children are completely dependent on their parents or other caring adults for survival.

It is the nature of the circumstances to disperse. If there is attachment with the circumstance, there will be abhorrence when they get dispersed.

It's OK to have negative thoughts, we all have them. Just don't allow yourself to attach to them. You decide how much time, attention, and energy you put into your thoughts. Where do you want to make that investment? Don't you want to invest in something that will help you? Recognize, and make the choice.

It’s sad to see how many relationships start as just a distraction from boredom, a cover up so they don’t have to ever deal with the true pain below

I want to see her naked, " Mengele said pointing to Marlene. She cried and shock. My mother flung her body in front of Marlene's and said, "You can't have her. I love her, my daughter." My father said, "Take the younger one. She's smarter, " as he pushed me over forward. Marlene cried because father said I was smarter even though he was just trying to manipulate Mengele. The doctor's chest grew large.

Love is not the answer, peace is. Throughout my whole life I have experienced and seen others use love as a reason to treat people with unkindness by being controlling, jealous, shouting in anger, and projecting guilt and shame. If you love someone but there is not peace in your heart when you think of that person then your work is not done. Do not stop at love, continue all the way towards the freedom of inner peace. Love starts when peace begins. Without peace love is simply a mask for our insecurity, judgment, and egoic attachments.

Love should not cause suffocation and death if it is truly love. Don't bundle someone into an uncomfortable cage just because you want to ensure their safety in your life. The bird knows where it belongs, and will never fly to a wrong nest.

Lust, anger, attachment, greed, over pride be, Jealousy, selfishness, injustice, cruelty, ego truly; - 153 -

Marriage is never static. There are peaks and troughs, cycles. It is easy to forget that this shifting landscape is really only ever a reflection of the self. Our capacity for attachment determines the kind of mate we attract, and it is through this mate that we are forever transformed – marriage as alchemy, but also as a mirror.

Moha (illusory attachment) will indeed keep on stinging you until you are completely exhausted!

Moments later, I was climbing nervously into the back of the car. The driver wore the archetypal expression of an antagonist. No words were exchanged beyond the brief lines uttered to this nameless stranger, whose inclinations remained unclear. The car sped along empty roads and traversed dingy alleyways. Music blared from its speakers. I did not remember exhaling throughout the entire journey.

My affection for you is not my problem.

My goal is not to upset the apple cart, but to make it more accessible.

My kids understand what I’m doing. They’re totally saturated in it. My daughter, she’s eleven. A little while ago, she said to me, ‘Dad, I don’t care if you become a robot, but you have to keep your face. I don’t want you to replace your face.’ Personally, I don’t have any sentimental attachment to my face, any more than I have a sentimental attachment to any other part of my body. I could look like the Mars Rover for all I give a shit. But she’s pretty attached to my face, I guess.

Maternal/child attachment is mostly eroded in increments. The separation begins in hospitals, where mothers are not only made to feel inferior to medical professionals in relation to their infants, but regularly separated from their infants.

Matter and Spirit are intertwined in creation at this plane of existence and both are non existent without each other.To live one, the other has to be lived. It is the obsessive attachment to the material world, which is seen as an impediment....when one can see nothing beyond it

My-ness' is itself parigraha (possessiveness). An object is not parigraha. A Gnani (enlightened one) does not have 'my-ness', he has eternal element (Pure Soul)

My-ness (mamta) is indeed parigrah [attachment to material objects]; material object is not a parigrah. Gnani doesn’t have My-ness (mamata), He has the eternal element (experience of Pure Soul).

Never make anyone the centre of your world, create your own world and have someone come visit and stay if they may.

My trouble is that I think there is a track that things should stay on. I'm hooked to a belief that life should go a certain way. I develop an attachment to Plan A and set up my expectations accordingly. An important part of spiritual practice is to learn to let go, to recognize that Plan A exists only in my head.

Necessity is very often the mother of romance.

Non-possession” does not mean having nothing. It does not mean to live as a penniless beggar. Rather than meaning having nothing, it is the idea of not possessing what we do not need. The more we possess, The more we have attachments.

No matter how wise a person is, but that is still an attribute of the non-Self, isn't it? And if one becomes attached to the attributes of the non-Self, then he has become attached to the non-Self!!

Once an opinion is formed, there will be attachment-abhorrence. A person without opinion is also without attachment-abhorrence.

One might say that the difficulty in rearing children has to do with the ambiguities of independence. The child must separate from the parents; the parent must allow the child to discover his or her own reality. Where there was one, there must be two. But this separation, though necessary, is a complex and often tormented experience. The relationship between separation and loving attachment has to be negotiated each time afresh... There is no theory that can totally guide the parent...In the act of creation, there is perhaps inevitable sadness…(p.20)

Once you understand the innate nature (relative self, prakruti) of the other person, you can remain in an attachment-free state with that person. It is Knowledge (Gnan) to understand the innate nature of a person, and once Knowledge arises, so will conduct.

One form of insecurity of attachment, called "disorganized/disoriented", has been associated with marked impairments in the emotional, social, and cognitive domains, and a predisposition toward a clinical condition known as dissociation in which the capacity to function in an organized, coherent manner is at times impaired. Studies have also found that youths with a history of disorganized attachments are at great risk of expressing hostility with their peers and have the potential for interpersonal violence as they mature (Lyons-Ruth & Jacobwitz, 1999; Carlson, 1998). This disorganized form of attachment has been proposed to be associated with the caregiver's frightened, frightening, or disoriented behavior with the child. Such experiences create a state of alarm in the child. The parents of these children often have an autobiographical narrative finding, as revealed in the Adult Attachment Interview, of unresolved trauma or grief that appears as a disorientation in their narrative account of their childhoods. Such linguistic disorientation occurs during the discussion of loss or threat from childhood experiences. Lack of resolution appears to be associated with parental behaviors that are incompatible with an organized adaptation on the part of the child. Lack of resolution of trauma or grief in a parent can lead to parental behaviors that create "paradoxical", unsolvable, and problematic situations for the child. The attachment figure is intended to be the source of protection, soothing, connections, and joy. Instead, the experience of the child who develops a disorganized attachment is such that the caregiver is actually the source of terror and fear, of "fright without solution", and so the child cannot turn to the attachment figure to be soothed (Main & Hesse, 1990). There is not organized adaptation and the child's response to this unsolvable problem is disorganization (see Hesse et al., this volume).

Out of the hobbled spirit of attachment, and the insecure need of belonging, come the gross judgments against those who do not belong.

Our young don't play outside anymore; they've lost their innocence too early in their lives. We walk around the house ignoring one another, we see each other as separate, we abuse the earth; we kill each other in the name of God, we worship the Dollar bill, we fear life to the point of harming unborn and sacred lives, we insult each other because of the color of our skin; we've created many Gods to fit our wants. We are condemning our lives to an existence of attachment and discontent, we are asleep, and we must wake up!

Play is also a way to be close and, even more important, a way to reconnect after the closeness has been severed. Chimpanzees like to tickle one another's palms, especially after they have had a fight. Thus, the second purpose of play serves our incredible - almost bottomless - need for attachment and affection and closeness.

Physical pleasures are not associated with attachment-abhorrence; the belief in an opinion itself is attachment-abhorrence.

Mind control is built on lies and manipulation of attachment needs. Valerie Sinason, (Forward)

Practice giving things away, not just things you don't care about, but things you do like. Remember, it is not the size of a gift, it is its quality and the amount of mental attachment you overcome that count. So don't bankrupt yourself on a momentary positive impulse, only to regret it later. Give thought to giving. Give small things, carefully, and observe the mental processes going along with the act of releasing the little thing you liked. (53) (Quote is actually Robert A F Thurman but Huston Smith, who only wrote the introduction to my edition, seems to be given full credit for this text.)

Prakruti [the relative self, innate nature] has opinions and may store them but we should stay in an opinion-free state. ‘We’ are separate and the relative self is separate from us. ‘We’ should play our part as a separate entity. We shouldn’t get involved with those problems.

Remaining absolutely non-acquisitive (aparigrahi) amidst all possessions is the ultimate ‘test examination’.