Best 678 quotes in «attachment quotes» category

Once an opinion is formed, there will be attachment-abhorrence. A person without opinion is also without attachment-abhorrence.

Once you understand the innate nature (relative self, prakruti) of the other person, you can remain in an attachment-free state with that person. It is Knowledge (Gnan) to understand the innate nature of a person, and once Knowledge arises, so will conduct.

One form of insecurity of attachment, called "disorganized/disoriented", has been associated with marked impairments in the emotional, social, and cognitive domains, and a predisposition toward a clinical condition known as dissociation in which the capacity to function in an organized, coherent manner is at times impaired. Studies have also found that youths with a history of disorganized attachments are at great risk of expressing hostility with their peers and have the potential for interpersonal violence as they mature (Lyons-Ruth & Jacobwitz, 1999; Carlson, 1998). This disorganized form of attachment has been proposed to be associated with the caregiver's frightened, frightening, or disoriented behavior with the child. Such experiences create a state of alarm in the child. The parents of these children often have an autobiographical narrative finding, as revealed in the Adult Attachment Interview, of unresolved trauma or grief that appears as a disorientation in their narrative account of their childhoods. Such linguistic disorientation occurs during the discussion of loss or threat from childhood experiences. Lack of resolution appears to be associated with parental behaviors that are incompatible with an organized adaptation on the part of the child. Lack of resolution of trauma or grief in a parent can lead to parental behaviors that create "paradoxical", unsolvable, and problematic situations for the child. The attachment figure is intended to be the source of protection, soothing, connections, and joy. Instead, the experience of the child who develops a disorganized attachment is such that the caregiver is actually the source of terror and fear, of "fright without solution", and so the child cannot turn to the attachment figure to be soothed (Main & Hesse, 1990). There is not organized adaptation and the child's response to this unsolvable problem is disorganization (see Hesse et al., this volume).

Out of the hobbled spirit of attachment, and the insecure need of belonging, come the gross judgments against those who do not belong.

One might say that the difficulty in rearing children has to do with the ambiguities of independence. The child must separate from the parents; the parent must allow the child to discover his or her own reality. Where there was one, there must be two. But this separation, though necessary, is a complex and often tormented experience. The relationship between separation and loving attachment has to be negotiated each time afresh... There is no theory that can totally guide the parent...In the act of creation, there is perhaps inevitable sadness…(p.20)

Our young don't play outside anymore; they've lost their innocence too early in their lives. We walk around the house ignoring one another, we see each other as separate, we abuse the earth; we kill each other in the name of God, we worship the Dollar bill, we fear life to the point of harming unborn and sacred lives, we insult each other because of the color of our skin; we've created many Gods to fit our wants. We are condemning our lives to an existence of attachment and discontent, we are asleep, and we must wake up!

Physical pleasures are not associated with attachment-abhorrence; the belief in an opinion itself is attachment-abhorrence.

Prakruti [the relative self, innate nature] has opinions and may store them but we should stay in an opinion-free state. ‘We’ are separate and the relative self is separate from us. ‘We’ should play our part as a separate entity. We shouldn’t get involved with those problems.

Practice giving things away, not just things you don't care about, but things you do like. Remember, it is not the size of a gift, it is its quality and the amount of mental attachment you overcome that count. So don't bankrupt yourself on a momentary positive impulse, only to regret it later. Give thought to giving. Give small things, carefully, and observe the mental processes going along with the act of releasing the little thing you liked. (53) (Quote is actually Robert A F Thurman but Huston Smith, who only wrote the introduction to my edition, seems to be given full credit for this text.)

Remaining absolutely non-acquisitive (aparigrahi) amidst all possessions is the ultimate ‘test examination’.

Play is also a way to be close and, even more important, a way to reconnect after the closeness has been severed. Chimpanzees like to tickle one another's palms, especially after they have had a fight. Thus, the second purpose of play serves our incredible - almost bottomless - need for attachment and affection and closeness.

Remember, thoughts are only thoughts. You can choose to believe them or to not believe them. You can choose to change your perspective. You decide what you give power to. Choose thoughts that are helpful rather than harmful.

Research on organised abuse emphasises the diversity of organised abuse cases, and the ways in which serious forms of child maltreatment cluster in the lives of children subject to organised victimisation (eg Bibby 1996b, Itziti 1997, Kelly and Regan 2000). Most attempts to examine organised abuse have been undertaken by therapists and social workers who have focused primarily on the role of psychological processes in the organised victimisation of children and adults. Dissociation, amnesia and attachment, in particular, have been identified as important factors that compel victims to obey their abusers whilst inhibiting them from disclosing their abuse or seeking help (see Epstein et al. 2011, Sachs and Galton 2008). Therapists and social workers have surmised that these psychological effects are purposively induced by perpetrators of organised abuse through the use of sadistic and ritualistic abuse. In this literature, perpetrators are characterised either as dissociated automatons mindlessly perpetuating the abuse that they, too, were subjected to as children, or else as cruel and manipulative criminals with expert foreknowledge of the psychological consequences of their abuses. The therapist is positioned in this discourse at the very heart of the solution to organised abuse, wielding their expertise in a struggle against the coercive strategies of the perpetrators. Whilst it cannot be denied that abusive groups undertake calculated strategies designed to terrorise children into silence and obedience, the emphasis of this literature on psychological factors in explaining organised abuse has overlooked the social contexts of such abuse and the significance of abuse and violence as social practices.

Secure attachment has been linked to a child's ability to successfully recover and prove resilient in the presence of a traumatic event.

Renunciation and saiyam are two different things. Renunciation is where one gives up all marital ties, parental ties, financial ties and material possessions. What is saiyam? When anger, pride, deceit, greed and attachment-abhorence are under control, then it is considered as saiyam.

... sexual abuse by the mother is considered to he one of the most traumatic forms of abuse. In some ways it's the ultimate betrayal.

Saiyam parinaam (a resultant state free of anger-pride-deceit-greed and attachment-abhorrence) is not an activity of the Self. It is an intermediate state. The activity of the Self happen when the independent [original] Self is Seen.

SELFHOOD AND DISSOCIATION The patient with DID or dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) has used their capacity to psychologically remove themselves from repetitive and inescapable traumas in order to survive that which could easily lead to suicide or psychosis, and in order to eke some growth in what is an unsafe, frequently contradictory and emotionally barren environment. For a child dependent on a caregiver who also abuses her, the only way to maintain the attachment is to block information about the abuse from the mental mechanisms that control attachment and attachment behaviour.10 Thus, childhood abuse is more likely to be forgotten or otherwise made inaccessible if the abuse is perpetuated by a parent or other trusted caregiver. In the dissociative individual, ‘there is no uniting self which can remember to forget’. Rather than use repression to avoid traumatizing memories, he/she resorts to alterations in the self ‘as a central and coherent organization of experience. . . DID involves not just an alteration in content but, crucially, a change in the very structure of consciousness and the self’ (p. 187).29 There may be multiple representations of the self and of others. Middleton, Warwick. "Owning the past, claiming the present: perspectives on the treatment of dissociative patients." Australasian Psychiatry 13.1 (2005): 40-49.

Strangers were a fairytale full of possibilities not yet corrupted by reality while caregivers were the reality – and everything that couldn't be counted upon.

Stop falling for those who won't raise you up in the future.

Swish floral curtain with laces dancing out on air but is tied to its past interwoven with numerous rings of attachments.

That is to say, attachments to signs of accomplishment (drod rtags) and circumstantial effects are precisely what are called Negative Forces [demons].

The capacity for dissociation enables the young child to exercise their innate life-sustaining need for attachment in spite of the fact that principal attachment figures are also principal abusers.

The foundation of sansar (worldly life) is made up of attachment and abhorrence, and the foundation of Gnan (knowledge of the Self) is made up of Vitaraagata (total absence of attachment and abhorrence)!

The key to finding a mate who can fulfill those needs is to first fully acknowledge your need for intimacy, availability, and security in a relationship - and to believe that they are legitimate. They aren't good or bad, they are simply your needs. Don't let people make you feel guilty for acting "needy" or dependent." Don't be ashamed of feeling incomplete when you're not in a relationship, or for wanting to be close to your partner and to depend on him.

The marriage and all other worldly occasions have to be dealt with. You do it and so do ‘I’. You deal with them by getting engrossed in them and ‘I’ deal with them by remaining separate. Only the location (involvement) has to be changed.

Space, like time, engenders forgetfulness; but it does so by setting us bodily free from our surroundings and giving us back our primitive, unattached state ... Time, we say, is Lethe; but change of air is a similar draught, and, if it works less thoroughly, does so more quickly.

Taming attachment,does not mean becoming cold and disinterested. On the contrary, it means learning to have a composed control over our mind through understanding

The best, highest love comes without attachment or expectation.

The capacity to form attachments on equal terms is considered evidence of emotional maturity. It is the absence of this capacity which is pathological. Whether there may be other criteria of emotional maturity, like the capacity to be alone, is seldom taken into account.

The greatest challenge of parenting is in the inner work it requires: the strength and confidence in believing that we are not in control of, but the answer for our children.

Theirs was a tug-of-war and neither could let go. Both felt the burn and still wouldn't let go. Some might call it a game for neither could admit defeat.

The mind, speech, and body are effective, so the effect that one experiences, he believes as ‘this effect is mine’. This creates attachment-abhorrence and thus creates a karmic cause. But if one knows that the effect is ‘not mine’, then he will not have any attachment or abhorrence and consequently will not create karmic causes.

The one who does not have even a trace of sexual thoughts is referred to as a saiyam parinaami (one who is free of anger-pride-deceit-greed, attachment-abhorrence).

The Lord says that abhorrence is beneficial. Love-attachment [Prem-raag] will never leave. The entire world is trapped in the suffering due to love-attachment (prem-parishaha). Just say your greetings from afar and become free.

The mind doesn’t harass you; your attachment-abhorrence harasses you!

The primary driver to pathological dissociation is attachment disorganization in early life: when that is followed by severe and repeated trauma, then a major disorder of structural dissociation is created (Lyons-Ruth, Dutra, Schuder, & Bianchi, 2006).

There is no gap between the ignorant and the wise. A foolish person is a wise person; a wise person is a foolish person.

The reality of the world is the result of our attachment. It is the reality of the self which we transfer into things. It has nothing to do with independent reality. That is only perceptible through total detachment. Should only one thread remain, there is still attachment.

The possessions themselves were not the problem, it was my relationship with possessing.

The Soul is neither a Jain nor a Vaishnav. The Soul is Vitarag (free from attachment and abhorrence). This is the religion of the Vitarag (the enlightened ones).

There is no means other than Vitaraag Vignan (Science that leads to the absolute state free of attachment-abhorrence) that can give Moksha (ultimate liberation). Other methods will cause bondage and will only help to pass the time. Through Gnani Purush (Enlightened One), one is able to attain the Eternal thing (Soul).

There is no more destructive force in human affairs -- not greed, not hatred -- than the desire to have been right. Non-attachment to possessions is trivial when compared with non-attachment to opinions.

The Soul is neither a Jain nor a Vaishnav. The Soul is Vitarag (free from attachment). This is the religion of the Vitarag (the enlightened ones).

There is no means other than vitrag-science (science that frees us from all attachments) that will give Final-Liberation [Moksha]. Other means [methods, instruments] will cause bondage; they only help to pass the time; [whereas] means to attain the Eternal Thing (experience of Pure Soul) can be attained from the ‘Gnani Purush’ (the enlightened one).

There is no way out other than ‘staying at the Gnani’s feet’ (being surrendered to the Enlightened one). The vision of the entire world is of infinite ‘mohaniya’ (delusional attachment), and no one can escape from it.

There should not be attachment to what is liked and there should be no abhorrence to what is disliked. Like and dislike are mind’s functions; it is not ‘Our’ (Self) function.

The very matrix of our ability to love and bond in later life, maternal sensitivity – or lack thereof – also determines cultural tenor.

The Root Cause of Our Problems is The Attachment To Possessions and #Desire for more. #KnowThyself

The worldly vision is filled with infinite infatuations and attachments and no one can escape from it; [hence] there is no alternative other than staying in Gnani’s feet [surrendering to the enlightened one is the only alternative].