Best 888 quotes in «witty quotes» category

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

I'm for whatever gets you through the night

I'm going to show you the real New York - witty, smart, and international - like any metropolis. Tell me this: where in Europe can you find old Hungary, old Russia, old France, old Italy? In Europe you're trying to copy America, you're almost American. But here you'll find Europeans who immigrated a hundred years ago - and we haven't spoiled them. Oh, Gio! You must see why I love New York. Because the whole world's in New York.

I'm hopefully touring with Colin Baker next year in Perfect Strangers. I have performed with Sylvia Simms in poetry and music evenings. I would love to do those for the rest of my career - they are so fun and witty.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

I'm not so much interested in the return ON my money as I am in the return OF my money.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked.

I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

I never said most of the things I said.

In expanding the field of knowledge we but increase the horizon of ignorance.

I only do one thing at a time; otherwise, I get confused and then I can't trick you.

Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray.(when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac )

In two words, impossible.

I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights

I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, audacious without impudency, learned without opinion, and strange with-out heresy.

I read part of it all the way through.

I read the script [of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency] and went, "I haven't read anything this good, in a long time." I thought it was absolutely brilliant. The dialogue is so sparkling, smart and witty. You also have these insane, crazy characters, like energy sucking vampires and holistic assassins. It's all completely weird.

I rant, therefore I am

I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes

I started putting words together, making rhymes and being witty with the wordplay. I can play a little bit of guitar, and that's something I'm going to dedicate more time to doing.

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

I think about Aaron Rodgers, he's like Chris Evans before he got the HGH injection in Captain America. But before he was super smart and was still witty and stuff. That's how I see Tom Brady.

I think I learned more about writing scores for Broadway by making mix tapes in the '90s than I did in college. You're learning about rise and fall and energy and tempo shifts. You're showing off your taste and your references. You're trying to be witty by - through placement of music you didn't write.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.

It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers.

It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.

It is my opinion that a man's soul may be buried and perish under a dung-heap, or in a furrow field, just as well as under a pile of money.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities.

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants