Best 87 quotes in «masturbation quotes» category

It's true,' Vanya now, 'look at the forms of capitalist expression. Pornographies: pornographies of love, erotic love, Christian love, boy-and-his-dog, pornographies of sunsets, pornographies of killing, and pornographies of deduction--ahh, that sigh when we guess the murderer--all these novels, these films and songs they lull us with, they're approaches more comfortable and less so, to that Absolute Comfort.' A pause to allow Rudi a quick and sour grin. 'The self-induced orgasm.

Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.

Masturbating is no more sinful than praying or meditating.

Masturbation and meditation both promote physical and mental wellbeing.

Masturbation is a function of sleep deprivation, electromagnetic exposures, hormones and ingested stimulants.

Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think. I detect the aroma of this pleasant vice in most philosophers, and a happily married logicians is almost a contradiction in terms. So many sages have regarded Woman as temptress because fornication often leads to marriage, which usually leads to children, which always leads to a respectable job and pretending to believe the idiocies your neighbors believe. The hypocrisy of the sages has been to conceal their timid onanism and call it celibacy.

Most if not all sexually active people do not really love having sex; they merely love experiencing an orgasm every now and then.

Nothing cures depression like a quality jerk-off session in the bathtub, followed by a jog around the block.

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

Next time she’d have to ask him to keep the light on while he did it, so she could watch his face. That was the best part of the whole thing as far as she was concerned, the way a guy’s face contorted so violently and then relaxed, as if some terrible mystery had just been solved.

Our sexual pleasure happens within us, not on or inside our partners’ genitals.

Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.

One of my specialties is insane masturbators.

Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind.

Reading - like masturbation - is something you do alone and very little in life brings more pleasure.

Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion. One can masturbate up to the age of seventy, and even beyond, but in the end it becomes a mere habit. Whereas to scratch myself properly I would have needed a dozen hands. I itched all over, on the privates, in the bush up to the navel, under the arms, in the arse, and then patches of eczema and psoriasis that I could set raging merely by thinking of them. It was in the arse I had the most pleasure, I stuck in my forefinger up to the knuckle. Later, if I had to shit, the pain was atrocious. But I hardly shat any more.

Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion.

Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last night and again this morning.

Some people are so sexually unattractive that the thought of masturbating turns them off.

Some men do not know the father of 'their' children.

Some people masturbate to temporarily replace their partners when they are absent, whereas some people do that to temporarily live in the present.

Sex without love is nothing more than a complex form of masturbation.

Some men believe a girl squirting under their touch is a sign of their own sex appeal and machismo. It seems a shame to pee on their parade, but the truth is, the methodical throb of a vibrator in the right place and in the right hands – even your own hand – achieves more consistent results.

The intensity of the pleasure derived from an orgasm is compensation for its brevity.

Squirting isn’t easy, it has to be said. Then, neither is riding a unicycle. Just as some people sweat more than others, or eat more than others, some girls erupt in surging geysers of vaginal fluids with greater facility and in more generous quantities than others.

The porn films are not about sex. Sex is airbrushed and digitally washed out of the films. There is no acting because none of the women are permitted to have what amounts to a personality. The one emotion they are allowed to display is an unquenchable desire to satisfy men, especially if that desire involves the women’s physical and emotional degradation. The lightning in the films is harsh and clinical. Pubic hair is shaved off to give the women the look of young girls or rubber dolls. Porn, which advertises itself as sex, is a bizarre, bleached pantomime of sex. The acts onscreen are beyond human endurance. The scenarios are absurd. The manicured and groomed bodies, the huge artificial breasts, the pouting oversized lips, the erections that never go down, and the sculpted bodies are unreal. Makeup and production mask blemishes. There are no beads of sweat, no wrinkle lines, no human imperfections. Sex is reduced to a narrow spectrum of sterilized dimensions. It does not include the dank smell of human bodies, the thump of a pulse, taste, breath—or tenderness. Those in films are puppets, packaged female commodities. They have no honest emotion, are devoid of authentic human beauty, and resemble plastic. Pornography does not promote sex, if one defines sex as a shared act between two partners. It promotes masturbation. It promotes the solitary auto-arousal that precludes intimacy and love. Pornography is about getting yourself off at someone else’s expense.

There are some socks that shouldn't be washed by your mom.

The primary goal of a righteous parent who has a daughter is to minimize the number of boys and men for whom their daughter will have willingly opened her legs come her wedding day; the closer to zero, the more righteous they will seem.

There will be others, many others. You’ll try desperately to digest a single word through the acronym-laden gibberish, while beginning to wonder what the point of all this is, and also why you didn’t feel that staple you just sent into your thigh. You usually do. You’ll wonder what your company even does. After six years, you have no idea what an information system is, do you? Maybe you should ask. Maybe that’s how this ends. You’ll imagine how poetic it would be to simply unmute yourself and say, “Sorry to interrupt, guys, but what’s an information system?” Still, your mind will drift further, envisioning how much more tolerable this call would be if you could just slowly masturbate during it. So you do. You masturbate during it. And it’s beautiful. Masturbating, invisible within your three-walled fortress. Invisible… invisible… practically invisible.

The USA is turning into a nation filled with insane masturbators.

To masturbate is to imagine: physically.

To masturbate or not to masturbate, that is the question.

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate when you stroke or slide it into a woman's punani!

What were you doing to it in my bed?” “Touching it.” “How? Show me.

When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.

Your imagination and some masturbation is a much better alternative to finding out what kind of person a bit of casual sex transforms you into.

You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.

Every time I talk to a fancy journalist and they ask what I do in my free time my scumbag brain goes 'say masturbate, it'll be hilarious'.

Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!

Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

I can imagine you touching my private parts. With just the thought of you I can't help, but touch myself.

German radicalism: freedom-masturbation.

I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird.

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

I used to think masturbation was not really sex because it only involved me. That's a very limited view of human sexuality, and it isn't going to work for women.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

Women are denied masturbation even more severely than men and that's another method of control-they're not taught to please themselves.... Most women-it takes them a while to warm up to the "situation" but once they get into it, I'm sure they're going to get just as hooked as-well, everyone I know is!

Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.