Best 87 quotes in «masturbation quotes» category

There will be others, many others. You’ll try desperately to digest a single word through the acronym-laden gibberish, while beginning to wonder what the point of all this is, and also why you didn’t feel that staple you just sent into your thigh. You usually do. You’ll wonder what your company even does. After six years, you have no idea what an information system is, do you? Maybe you should ask. Maybe that’s how this ends. You’ll imagine how poetic it would be to simply unmute yourself and say, “Sorry to interrupt, guys, but what’s an information system?” Still, your mind will drift further, envisioning how much more tolerable this call would be if you could just slowly masturbate during it. So you do. You masturbate during it. And it’s beautiful. Masturbating, invisible within your three-walled fortress. Invisible… invisible… practically invisible.

When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.

To masturbate is to imagine: physically.

What were you doing to it in my bed?” “Touching it.” “How? Show me.

The USA is turning into a nation filled with insane masturbators.

To masturbate or not to masturbate, that is the question.

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

Every time I talk to a fancy journalist and they ask what I do in my free time my scumbag brain goes 'say masturbate, it'll be hilarious'.

Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey that's where you pee and bonk! And nobody will say, hey, your penis can ejaculate when you stroke or slide it into a woman's punani!

You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.

Your imagination and some masturbation is a much better alternative to finding out what kind of person a bit of casual sex transforms you into.

Do you know what 'masturbation' is? I think you probably do because you are older than me. But just in case, I will tell you. Masturbation is when you rub your genitals until you have an orgasm. Wow!

Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation.

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

German radicalism: freedom-masturbation.

I can imagine you touching my private parts. With just the thought of you I can't help, but touch myself.

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

Love is what makes sex more than masturbation. If there is no love even if you are really with a partner you masturbate with a partner.

I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird.

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.

I used to think masturbation was not really sex because it only involved me. That's a very limited view of human sexuality, and it isn't going to work for women.

Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction.

Masturbation! The amazing availability of it!

Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think.

Novels, except as aids to masturbation, play no part in contemporary life.

[On masturbation:] I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.

The only shame in masturbation is the shame of not doing it well.

We know that more than seventy to eighty percent of women masturbate, and ninety percent of men masturbate, and the rest lie.

This is a rumour-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about whom I've dated, then I'd say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topics... or masturbation.

Women are denied masturbation even more severely than men and that's another method of control-they're not taught to please themselves.... Most women-it takes them a while to warm up to the "situation" but once they get into it, I'm sure they're going to get just as hooked as-well, everyone I know is!

When I'm all alone and I'm by myself, little Peter keeps me company.

When they say take from my body, I think I'll take from mine instead. Getting off, getting off while they're all down stairs.

Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.

Writing a book is like masturbation, and making a movie is like an orgy.

After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.

A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.

And now Kit’s cock—which had mostly been used for taking a leak before that moment—woke up and screamed I WANT! FEED ME ASSHOLE! And Kit had given it a good handshake until it threw up.

...Don't tell me he's bisexual! Don't tell me this is more of the guy in the hallway! Don't tell me he wants us to have it off together, Philip Roth fucking Philip Roth! That, I'm afraid, is a form of masturbation too fancy even for me.

baptizing all containers with an orifice that appeals to their cock is the trivial pursuit of little boys" (23) (rbt: every "boy" i know has done this at least 15 times -- why?)

Describing my sexual history and scope of experience; am surrendering; in conclusion an epic failure 'I'm a master at setting people off...of this it may continue...

A writer should be able to open a window or two for others to see the world and themselves in a new light. Anything less is just self–indulgence and intellectual masturbation.

Coco Chanel is said to have said that a girl should be two things: who and what she is. I say a girl should do two things: what and who she wants.

Everything you do with thoughts in mind is masturbation, the real thing is somewhere else.

En ting er fagkyndig analyse, en annen ting kvaksalveranalyse og onaniterapi.

Everything you do wih thoughts in mind is masturbation, the real thing is somewhere else.

For most men, at the very least, sex is a daily deal. Men need to come. If they aren’t doing it with you, then they’re doing it with themselves – or worse, with someone else.

Excessive masturbation is a sign that you are routinely in a high electromagnetic interference (EMI) environment.

I think I know what he is REALLY doing in there... and thinking about ME while doing it." (continuing) "But when he thinks of me, he thinks: sister! Think: Byblis! BYBLIS! I don't think of him as my brother, I think of him as CAUNUS!

If a writer has the desire to communicate by writing and be heard, then he necessarily cares about seeing it in print. I suppose it's the difference between masturbation and making love—the real writer wants to touch another person.

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.