Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

don't be angry with the gentleman for thinking, whatever be the cause, for I assure you he makes no common practice of offending in that way.

Don't be humble... you're not that great.

Don't consider sarcasm the 'be-all' and 'end-all' of verbal intercourse. Far too many people place way too much importance on the sarcasm instead of the talking, in and of itself, as a precious shared experience between people.

Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Growing up and living in England, I'm surrounded by grey skies and sarcasm, so when I came to America, my first impressions were bright, hopeful, cheerful.

For some reason that only a sociologist might be able to accurately explain, the Brazilian Press was extremely unkind to me, reporting only selective derogatory untruthful rumors (some of which are still around), harsh criticism, and unwarranted sarcasm. I was very hurt by this. It was such great disappointment... When I came back from Brazil at that time, I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever again sing in Brazil. So far [as of 2002], I have kept this promise, having declined each and every invitation or proposals to perform in Brazil. Once was enough!

For your information, I would like to ask a question.

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was enraptured. It was a rare and sweet look for him, reminding me of the tortured artist that lived beneath the sarcasm. I liked that about Adrian—not the tortured part, but the way he could feel so deeply and then transform those emotions into art.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

His ignorance is encyclopedic.

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

I always get the better when I argue alone.

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold I almost got married.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand.

I'd to do more stuff with less sarcasm.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

I do sarcasm really poorly.

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.