Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

For some reason that only a sociologist might be able to accurately explain, the Brazilian Press was extremely unkind to me, reporting only selective derogatory untruthful rumors (some of which are still around), harsh criticism, and unwarranted sarcasm. I was very hurt by this. It was such great disappointment... When I came back from Brazil at that time, I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever again sing in Brazil. So far [as of 2002], I have kept this promise, having declined each and every invitation or proposals to perform in Brazil. Once was enough!

For your information, I would like to ask a question.

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

Growing up and living in England, I'm surrounded by grey skies and sarcasm, so when I came to America, my first impressions were bright, hopeful, cheerful.

He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was enraptured. It was a rare and sweet look for him, reminding me of the tortured artist that lived beneath the sarcasm. I liked that about Adrian—not the tortured part, but the way he could feel so deeply and then transform those emotions into art.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

His ignorance is encyclopedic.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

I always get the better when I argue alone.

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold I almost got married.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

I do sarcasm really poorly.

I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand.

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

I'd to do more stuff with less sarcasm.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.

I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.

I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you

I see little hope for democracy as an effective form of government, but I admire the poetry of how it makes its victims complicit in their own destruction.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.

I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.