Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

don't be angry with the gentleman for thinking, whatever be the cause, for I assure you he makes no common practice of offending in that way.

Don't be humble... you're not that great.

Don't consider sarcasm the 'be-all' and 'end-all' of verbal intercourse. Far too many people place way too much importance on the sarcasm instead of the talking, in and of itself, as a precious shared experience between people.

Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

For your information, I would like to ask a question.

For some reason that only a sociologist might be able to accurately explain, the Brazilian Press was extremely unkind to me, reporting only selective derogatory untruthful rumors (some of which are still around), harsh criticism, and unwarranted sarcasm. I was very hurt by this. It was such great disappointment... When I came back from Brazil at that time, I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever again sing in Brazil. So far [as of 2002], I have kept this promise, having declined each and every invitation or proposals to perform in Brazil. Once was enough!

Growing up and living in England, I'm surrounded by grey skies and sarcasm, so when I came to America, my first impressions were bright, hopeful, cheerful.

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

His ignorance is encyclopedic.

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

I always get the better when I argue alone.

I did a picture in England one winter and it was so cold I almost got married.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

I see little hope for democracy as an effective form of government, but I admire the poetry of how it makes its victims complicit in their own destruction.

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.