Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrasment...They do everything but watch television.

Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin. Don't die. I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me. Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You're already dead. He laughed. You know, for once, it's good to be me.

a sarcastic expression, on a beast, is far more sinister than rage.

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer.

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

Better never than late.

Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?

Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Canada has a passive-aggressive culture, with a lot of sarcasm and righteousness. That went with my weird messianic complex. The ego is a fascinating monster. I was taught from a young age that I had to serve, so that turned into me thinking I had to save the planet.

Crime is rampant. We even steal away from responsibility.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Death will be a great relief. No more interviews.

Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

don't be angry with the gentleman for thinking, whatever be the cause, for I assure you he makes no common practice of offending in that way.

Don't be humble... you're not that great.

Do unto yourself as your Neighbours do unto Themselves and look Pleasant.

Don't consider sarcasm the 'be-all' and 'end-all' of verbal intercourse. Far too many people place way too much importance on the sarcasm instead of the talking, in and of itself, as a precious shared experience between people.

Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

For some reason that only a sociologist might be able to accurately explain, the Brazilian Press was extremely unkind to me, reporting only selective derogatory untruthful rumors (some of which are still around), harsh criticism, and unwarranted sarcasm. I was very hurt by this. It was such great disappointment... When I came back from Brazil at that time, I made a promise to myself that I would never, ever again sing in Brazil. So far [as of 2002], I have kept this promise, having declined each and every invitation or proposals to perform in Brazil. Once was enough!

For your information, I would like to ask a question.

He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was enraptured. It was a rare and sweet look for him, reminding me of the tortured artist that lived beneath the sarcasm. I liked that about Adrian—not the tortured part, but the way he could feel so deeply and then transform those emotions into art.

Growing up and living in England, I'm surrounded by grey skies and sarcasm, so when I came to America, my first impressions were bright, hopeful, cheerful.

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.

His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye.

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.

His ignorance is encyclopedic.

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history.

History teaches us virtue, but nature never ceases to teachh us vice.

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

I always get the better when I argue alone.

I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously.

I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.