Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his

I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you

I see little hope for democracy as an effective form of government, but I admire the poetry of how it makes its victims complicit in their own destruction.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

In order to fully realize how bad a popular play can be, it is necessary to see it twice.

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

I squirm when I see athletes praying before a game. Don't they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual - that's to say, you handled it fairly well.

I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

It's better to be black than gay because when you're black you don't have to tell your mother.

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

It's a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon "launder" became a dirty word.

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

Krzhizhanovsky wanted to perform imaginary experiments with the nature of time and space. Outside, in the streets, the Communist state was busy performing such experiments for real. In response, Krzhizhanovsky's prose has a recklessly unstable tone in which delighted examination of impossible worlds can slip into ferocious political sarcasm.... It is a method for investigating how much unreality reality can bear.

Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

Oh, dear me." Nathalie sank back down in the chair and examined her Uggs. "The sarcasm could've started dripping off her and stained the floor. "Is it conspiracy, treachery, murder, or open warfare? I'll have to choose my lipstick accordingly.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

Oh yeah, you’re a regular sage. Shouldn’t you be sitting on a mountain somewhere cultivating a long white beard waiting for knowledge seekers to come to you?” “Have I mentioned that sarcasm has the potential to be detrimental to the natural beauty of your face?” he countered.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one.