Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Oh yeah, you’re a regular sage. Shouldn’t you be sitting on a mountain somewhere cultivating a long white beard waiting for knowledge seekers to come to you?” “Have I mentioned that sarcasm has the potential to be detrimental to the natural beauty of your face?” he countered.

Oh, dear me." Nathalie sank back down in the chair and examined her Uggs. "The sarcasm could've started dripping off her and stained the floor. "Is it conspiracy, treachery, murder, or open warfare? I'll have to choose my lipstick accordingly.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have.

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

Sarcasm is lost in print.

Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.

Sarcasm... the protest of those who are weak.

Sarcasm is the protest of the weak.

Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.

Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

Sarcasm was a weapon for children.

Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Melissa,' Graham growled. 'Really? I've always thought it brings out my eyes.

Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

South Sea natives who have been exposed to American movies classify them into two types, 'kiss-kiss' and 'bang-bang.

Sometimes Americans don't quite get my sense of humor. My good ol' British sarcasm seems to go over their heads.

Stay with me; I want to be alone

That's because we keep weapons int the attic, silly boy. Do you think this is the first time monsters have attacked our family?" "Weapons," Frank grumbled. "Right. I've never handled weapons before." Grandmother's nostrils flared. "Was that sarcasm, Fai Zhang?" "Yes, Grandmother." "Good. There may be hope for you yet.

Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful," I said, already feeling myself warming up. "And delivered to me entirely without pain." The Morrigan sucker-punched me hard in the face, sending me sprawling in the snow and breaking my nose. "You spoke too soon and with entirely too much sarcasm," she said. "We could have parted with a kiss. Remember that.

That's enough of that," Jesse said. Next thing I knew, he'd scooped me up. Only instead of carrying me to my bed and setting me down on it all romantically, you know, like guys do to girls in the movies, he just dumped me onto it, so I bounced around and would have fallen off if I hadn't grabbed the edge of the mattress. "Thanks," I said, not quite able to keep all of the sarcasm out of my voice.

The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once.

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.