Best 708 quotes in «sarcasm quotes» category

I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. "My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Krzhizhanovsky wanted to perform imaginary experiments with the nature of time and space. Outside, in the streets, the Communist state was busy performing such experiments for real. In response, Krzhizhanovsky's prose has a recklessly unstable tone in which delighted examination of impossible worlds can slip into ferocious political sarcasm.... It is a method for investigating how much unreality reality can bear.

Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

Ministers fall like buttered slices of bread: usually on their good side.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

My films often have a very strong strain of irony, or even sarcasm, which is definitely related to homosexual camp. But it is by no means straightforward: quite often I am sincere when I appear to be sarcastic, and I am sarcastic when I appear to be sincere. I also try to contradict myself at least once a day, which is a camp must.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that.

Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Oh yeah, you’re a regular sage. Shouldn’t you be sitting on a mountain somewhere cultivating a long white beard waiting for knowledge seekers to come to you?” “Have I mentioned that sarcasm has the potential to be detrimental to the natural beauty of your face?” he countered.

Oh, dear me." Nathalie sank back down in the chair and examined her Uggs. "The sarcasm could've started dripping off her and stained the floor. "Is it conspiracy, treachery, murder, or open warfare? I'll have to choose my lipstick accordingly.

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.

People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.

Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

Politics makes estranged bedfellows.

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.

Research is an organized method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have.

Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Melissa,' Graham growled. 'Really? I've always thought it brings out my eyes.

Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

Sarcasm is lost in print.

Sarcasm mascarades as the Preppy's sense of humor.

Sarcasm... the protest of those who are weak.

Sarcasm is the protest of the weak.

Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded.

Sarcasm was a weapon for children.

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.