Best 73 quotes of Jerry Lawler on MyQuotes

Ahmed Johnson came from a neighborhood where the most common words heard was, You have the right to remain silent.

Are you ready for some puppies?!

As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!

As they say, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation.

Australia was great. I would advise anybody to go there. In fact, if you couldn't live here, Australia would be the place to live. It's the most Americanized country that I've ever seen in the world.

Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.

Cena with the WWE Title, Randy Orton with the Money In The Bank briefcase, & Daniel Bryan with the beard.

Certainly it's a business and you've got to have a salesman, but in my mind, when you've got two guys doing the same thing, you don't need one of them.

Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo.

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I meet the women of my dreams.

Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.

ECW stands for Extremely Crappy Wrestling.

Foley looks like an un-made bed.

Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.

Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible.

Hey Mark Henry, where are your gold medals? We all know that if Mark Henry won a gold medal he'd just take it and have it bronzed.

How could Triple H EVER be mad, how could he EVER have a bad day? How would you like to be married to her?! Wake up in a wonderful mood every morning. I mean, look at that!

I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

I don't think it's blowing my own horn to say the show is not as good. There was chemistry there that took years and years to build and now that's gone. The commentary is lacking.

I don't think that McMahon thinks very much about the fact that J.R and I have been successful. I don't think that McMahon thinks the wrestling announcers really have that much to contribute the show.

If at first you don't succeed, see if there is a prize for the losers.

If charisma were rain, Blackman would be a desert.

I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.

I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally!

I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.

In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad.

Is he dancing or having a seizure?

It's almost like while you are working for the WWF everything is fine and good, but if you are no longer employed by them they want you to just drop off the face of the earth and it's like you never existed.

It's not often that you see a smile on the face of the Viper, but it actually looks good on there.

It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.

I've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family.

I've seen a lot of real out-of-line attitudes since I have been in the WWF and those people are still there or are getting a second or third chance or something like that.

Jake [Roberts] is feeling a little under the weather. He has bar-thritis. That's when because stiffin' a different joint every night.

Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.

Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels.

J.R.'s got moves like Jagger!

Judging from what looks like the popularity of this classic wrestling show is that the people like what they have grown to know and love here in Memphis

Look at the attention the Godfather's getting! Kick my leg, J.R.; kick me in the leg!

Mark Henry is so strong he eats steak with a spoon.

Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.

Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me

One man's trash is another man's girlfriend.

Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.

OSHA had come in and looked at the channel 5 studios and it sort of had something to do with wrestling, but they found that there were some safety concerns that had to be addressed.

Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!

Speaking of birthday suits, I think Mae Young's needs ironing!

Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that.

The Dudleys are going to get the VIP treatment this Sunday-- Very Intense Pain!

The only reason I lost to Aldo Montoya was the intoxicating fumes there were coming off his body from being around Jake Roberts.