Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

she doesn’t really have a sense of humor. I think she’d like to have one—it’s just that she doesn’t quite understand what jokes are for.

She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music. She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.

Slavery is nothing to joke about! And the history of this nation's [the USA's] involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

So get up, get, get get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.

Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it - not because I love it.

Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.

Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah.

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.

Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?

The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong.

The best jokes on The Leftovers are the ones that make you feel a little sick to your stomach.

The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.

The idea that any performer type is owed anything is a joke to me.

The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. they had become stories

The joke is, we all have the same punchline.

The joke that you laid in the bed that was me.

The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.

The moment you think of a joke is the best moment.

... the majority of us scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than the faultiness of our own arguments, orthe dulness [sic] of our own jokes.

There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable

The novel is a game or joke shared between author and reader.

The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.

The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about.

The next best thing to a very good joke is a very bad one.

The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball.

The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.

There's nothing the people love more than a Federal Reserve joke.

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.

The world is a very serious and, at times, very sad place - but at other times it is all such a joke.

There was a time when I didn't like myself at all. I thought I was a cruel joke. But now I've come to realise that maybe I am not cute, but I am beautiful.

The stuff about film being a collaborative medium is no joke.

There was always another side to a joke, the side of the victim.

There were many times when I kept silent about being Jewish as I got older, when Jewish jokes were told.

The wind likes making jokes!

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

Thou can'st not joke an enemy into a friend, but thou may'st a friend into an enemy.

Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.

Usually my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

To this day, to this very day, except for television, I've never had a writer. Anything I've ever done on the stage, happened on the stage and I developed it from there. It started doing impressions and jokes - which I did very poorly. To this day I can't tell a joke. That sounds nuts, but it's true. I exaggerate it and it becomes a joke. Everything I've ever done I've done out on the stage and it became a performance over many many years.

Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.

We have to joke about it because the alternative is to be scared

We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt.