Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.

Clumsy jesting is no joke.

Come. We must go deeper with no justice and no jokes.

Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke.

Donald Trump has shown that he will essentially attack individuals, make Second Amendment jokes.

Even if you know a character really well, there's no formula for what jokes will work and what won't.

Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices.

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.

Every Joke is a Tiny Revolution

Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy.

Everything serious that he says is a joke and everything humorous that he says is dead serious.

Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew.

Desegregation is a joke.

Donald Trump will be a tragedy, a sad joke in American history.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Dressing is a pleasure; clothes are not a joke.

Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.

Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it.

Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.

Fate does not play jokes.

For the amount of talent I had (and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke) I enjoyed a tremendous career.

Gentle dullness ever loves a joke.

Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke.

God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public.

Gratuitous fat jokes always hurt, no matter what.

English had hit upon a splendid joke. The intended to catch me or to bring me down.

Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.

For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.

Here's a tip. If you touch a girl, even as joke, and she pushes you off, leave... her... alone. Don't touch her. Anywhere! Just stop. Your touch does nothing but sicken her.

Here’s my most funniest joke, I’m broke.

He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke.

Humor is an attitude, a survivor’s way of looking at life. It’s not about telling jokes.

He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish.

Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.

Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first -- before it boomerangs.

Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

I always joke that every novel is really about the same thing: one person's struggle against society.

I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.

I always make the joke that I go home, to one of my homes, to go and do laundry so I can go on the road again.

I am a rune a carrot a little joke

Hillary Clinton wouldn't have make a joke about wiping the server clean with a towel or now we find out about bashing old Blackberries to get rid of them or the fact that she had 13 Blackberries.

I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.

I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.

I actually like jokes as well as things that are sort of fun.

I can't crack jokes because I don't have any.

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.