Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.

Life plays the same lovely and agonizing joke on all of us.

Living is a pretty grim joke, but a joke just the same.

Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes for a living.

Men love a joke - on the other fellow. But your really humorous woman loves a joke on herself.

My friends joke that I raised the Titanic and never left the Rockies.

My favorite Aggie joke? I'm sorry I don't understand the question

My friends joke because I will take my clothes off, at the drop of a hat.

Michael Gambon telling filthy jokes and Alan Rickman talking about scrambled eggs, just really normal things, and yet they're these amazingly, superb, famous actors. I feel so privileged to have been around them on the set of Harry Potter.

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish.

My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.

My friends always joke that I run on batteries.

My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.

My memoirs are full of humor, I had to change jokes because it was a little too dark.

My music started out as a complete joke, so really all I was doing was going for witty punchlines to make all of my buddies laugh.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

... nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny.

Neil Hamburger writes such cutting jokes.

Never put a razor inside your nose - even as a joke.

Never joke at funerals, or during business transactions.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

Only the saints would joke so about the gods, because it was either joke or scream, and they alone knew it was all the same to the gods.

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

People joke about me that I talk in voiceovers. I have that sort of inflection. But I do talk in voiceovers. I have done it my whole life.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

Really, I'm pretty laid-back, always cracking jokes.

She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music. She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.

Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.

Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke.

she doesn’t really have a sense of humor. I think she’d like to have one—it’s just that she doesn’t quite understand what jokes are for.

So get up, get, get get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Slavery is nothing to joke about! And the history of this nation's [the USA's] involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.

Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it - not because I love it.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke.

Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah.

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.

Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?

The best jokes on The Leftovers are the ones that make you feel a little sick to your stomach.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.