Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

... nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny.

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes.

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

she doesn’t really have a sense of humor. I think she’d like to have one—it’s just that she doesn’t quite understand what jokes are for.

Only the saints would joke so about the gods, because it was either joke or scream, and they alone knew it was all the same to the gods.

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

Really, I'm pretty laid-back, always cracking jokes.

Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

People joke about me that I talk in voiceovers. I have that sort of inflection. But I do talk in voiceovers. I have done it my whole life.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

Round-heads and Wooden-shoes are standing jokes.

Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke.

She laughed when there was no joke. She danced when there was no music. She had no friends, yet she was the friendliest person in school.

So get up, get, get get down 911 is a joke in yo town

Slavery is nothing to joke about! And the history of this nation's [the USA's] involvement with slavery is nothing to pass off in a joke.

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.

Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.

Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah.

Sometimes in the studio movies I've been working in, you'll put a joke in a movie because the crowd loves it - not because I love it.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.

Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?

Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke.

Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong.

Taking a call girl to an STD fair... there's a joke here.

The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.

The best jokes on The Leftovers are the ones that make you feel a little sick to your stomach.

The joke is, we all have the same punchline.

That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.

The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.

The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.

The idea that any performer type is owed anything is a joke to me.

The inside jokes weren't jokes anymore. they had become stories

The joke that you laid in the bed that was me.

... the majority of us scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than the faultiness of our own arguments, orthe dulness [sic] of our own jokes.

The moment you think of a joke is the best moment.

The next best thing to a very good joke is a very bad one.

The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about.

The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.

The novel is a game or joke shared between author and reader.

There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable

The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball.

The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.

Usually my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

There's nothing the people love more than a Federal Reserve joke.

There was always another side to a joke, the side of the victim.