Best 571 quotes in «jokes quotes» category

I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day.

I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort of jokes that anyone really could tell in the pub.

I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot.

I'm a fun person. I like cracking jokes and being completely nerdy.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

I'm an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I'm a plethora of stolen jokes and kitschy references.

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

I make a joke that I'm the Internet curmudgeon, but 'wary' is a good way to put it.

I'm banned from Middlebrook elementary for telling dirty jokes to the janitor. The janitor! He cleans up dirt for a living.

I'm not a joke guy; I'm not a stand-up comic.

I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

In fact, it used to be a joke if you studied at a University

In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke.

In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking. -Sophie I never joke about carnivorous bunnies. -Luca

I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance.

I'm really bad with jokes. I would have to say Limp Bizkit.

I suppose every time [something bad happens], I have that instinct to make that joke that distracts.

It ain't no joke when you lose your vinyl.

It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage.

It doesn't feel like you're preaching, if you can say something in a joke.

I tell very mean jokes.

I tell the most horrible jokes.

It is not a sin to be seventy but it is also no joke.

It's easy for someone to joke about scars if they've never been cut.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.

It's much easier to make jokes about not having kids.

It's not appropriate to joke about the Ku Klux Klan.

It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone’s expense.

It's not a stereotype if it's always true.

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.

It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.

It was a bit of fun. But of course like anything that starts as a joke, people started to take it all seriously!

It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn't have written it!

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.

I used to joke that if acting didn't work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.

I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.

I've been burn when it comes to my hair that it ain't no joke.

I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much