Best 106 quotes in «funny inspirational quotes» category

According to the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, fish have feelings too. Whenever my sons go fishing they always tell me, "Dad it doesn't hurt a fish to get hooked." Well I watch and I see and I believe it's painful for the fish.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

All good things come to those who wait.

All things come to those who wait.

A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

Among the most striking things that I have learned is how much we have in common. I've sat down with people everywhere, discussing what was in their hearts and on their minds. And it doesn't take long to find commonality, which is often overlooked, ignored, dismissed, and rejected otherwise.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

Even the gods love jokes.

Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. Our food should be our medicine. Our medicine should be our food. But to eat when you are sick, is to feed your sickness.

Don't take life too seriously.

He has a heart of gold - only harder.

Even I don't know what you're doing, and I know everything.

Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.

Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

[Hope is] the dream of a waking man.

Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away.

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.

If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.

If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

I'm a big health-food freak and a vegetarian devotee.

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

Interviewing is tough, especially if you don't know what you're looking for.

In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.

I guess good things come to those who wait.

I'm glad I don't play anymore. I could never learn all those handshakes.

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.

I sometimes think, would I drink the milk from the breast of a woman I don't know? No. So I think, why would I drink it from a cow?

I think there's something odd about eating another living anything.

It's not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.

I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables.

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.

I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.

It's not whether you win or lose - but whether I win or lose.

It must be around forty, when you're "over the hill." I don't even know what that means and why it's a bad thing. When I go hiking and I get over the hill, that means I'm past the hard part and there's a snack in my future. That's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.