Best 3653 quotes in «humorous quotes» category

I knew we were in for a long season when we lined up for the national anthem on opening day and one of my players said, 'Every time I hear that song I have a bad game.'

I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

I like the word "indolence." It makes my laziness seem classy.

I like to be as diverse as possible. I think the humorous side and the serious side are both elements of my personality. It's what makes me who I am and if I was to neglect either one of those sides and just focus on one of them, it wouldn't be the full spectrum of my personality.

I like to think 'The God Delusion' is a humorous book. I think, actually, it's full of laughs. And people who describe it as a polarizing book or as an aggressive book, it's just that very often they haven't read it.

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

I'll tell you how I'd like to be remembered: As a black man who won the heavyweight title - Who has humorous and who never looked down on those who looked up to him - A man who stood for freedom, justice and equality - And I wouldn't even mind if folks forgot how pretty I was.

I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz don't mean you ain't a peach.

I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level.

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

I love making people laugh, and to be able to be that humorous character was great. And I actually was very similar to Neville Longbottom. I was very shy and chubby-cheeked. I wasn't bullied at school, but I wasn't particularly outgoing. We were similar. And so I loved playing him.

I love the very exposed, humorous, imperfect, never-trying to-pretend-to-be-perfect journey that I have been on in my life.

I love the protest signs protected by the First Amendment - some of them humorous, some of them passionate, some factual, some entirely incorrect - all of them free ideas.

I'm a Christian-libertarian-environmentalist-capitalist-lunatic. It's a humorous way for me to describe that I'm not stereotypical.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced

I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I mean, the question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again, night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, don't we all anyway; might as well get paid for it.

I miss New York. I still love how people talk to you on the street - just assault you and tell you what they think of your jacket.

I'm easily persuaded that a really good novelist who gets inside somebody else's head could be serving a valuable purpose. I enjoy satirical novels that take a wry, humorous, ironic look at modern life.

I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

I mean you've got a conservative and right-winged press presence with really nothing on the other end of the political spectrum.

I'm for whatever gets you through the night

I'm halfway through a novel set in two time frames - Austin in the 1960's and Alpine (Texas) in present day. It started out to be a small, lighthearted, humorous book about family relationships; I was tired of writing war stories and tragedies.

I misled people, including even my wife.

I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous.

I'm just trying to suppress my natural impulses and get back to work.

I'm not a robot; I have a personality and I have emotions. I have a humorous side to me and an angry side to me.

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

I'm not going to parse the statement. You've got the statement I made earlier and the statement speaks for itself.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.

I'm really interested in the link between creativity and humor because humor is a type of creativity, and I do think that humorous people and humorous health helps creativity.

I'm strong, I'm tough, I still wear my eyeliner.

I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

I'm so far gone that I'm telling the truth. It sounds like a foreign language.

I'm sure I spent more time in Texas than anybody else who had run for President recently.

I'm sorry. I don't recall

I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

I must admit that I do have a particular soft spot for the character of the chameleon-trickster goddess Ris in Dreams of the Compass Rose. Ris has gone through the whole spectrum of personal change and has had the longest road of all. And in the end she chooses to come back to the world, to guide, and to help, and to open the eyes of those who are suffering. In that is her true strength and humorous wisdom. I really do like her a whole lot.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.