Best 139 quotes in «lol quotes» category

They have provided a system which for terse comprehensiveness surpasses Justinian's Pandects and the By-laws of the Chinese Society for the Suppression of Meddling with other People's Business.

They're really into it, laughing and teasing each other, and I am looking at Pam and thinking once again how she is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen and that if we were back in the olden times she might have been made into a goddess because she is so beautiful. Sometimes I cannot stop my mind. It's scary.

Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand. Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed. Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence. "You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?" Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit. His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings." "Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!" "Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly. Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing." Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony." Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?" "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert" ...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." "I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.

The Great and Tragic Love of Jonathan Shadowhunter and David the Silent, by Clary Fray, Aged 17. SIMON IT WAS BY SIMON NOT ME (...) Jonathan Shadowhunter: Oh, David, I would trust you with my life! David: Oh, Jonathan, I would sacrifice my own life for your holy mission! (He almost does) Jonathan: (weeping) David, you must return to me! I need you! I cannot do this thing without you! David: Lo, I return! Jonathan: Zounds! I feel a great stirring in my pantaloons! David: What doth thy pantalo SIMON I WILL KILL YOU

Ugh! I absolutely hate lust. Hate. It. Every fiber of my being knows he’s not a good person, yet my body doesn't seem to give a shit at all.

Vampires didn't faint like Southern belles at the sight of blood.

Welcome to Stratosphere. Which church do you normally attend?" Kitty tried to think of all the churches she passed every single day on the way down from her apartment on The Peak, but her mind temporarily went blank. "Er, the Church of Volturi," she blurted out, picturing the church-like space from the Twilight movies where those scary old vampires sat on thrones.

We don't have dealings. He just stalks me. I'm popular like that.

Well, then, he ought to write her a letter. He ought to say: 'This is to tell you that I propose to live with you as soon as this show is over. You will be prepared immediately on cessation of active hostilities to put yourself at my disposal; please. Signed, Xtopher Tietjens, Acting O.C. 9th Glams. A proper military communication.

Well, so you don't get too cocky, I myself often complete the TV Guide crossword puzzle." He puffed out his chest. "In pen.

What I'm trying to say, Brooke Overland, is that I want to be your nanny." That's seriously the most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life.

What exactly are you doing?” I asked when he did another lap around my little living room. Connor stopped, glanced my way, and shook his head. “I’m thinking about how long it would take me to say goodnight to you if we were really dating.” Yeah. Eye roll. “Okay, got it.” I shoved him toward the door. “Out you go.

What do you can't do? ... Be supportive? ... You have never been supportive.. ... Being more serious? ... Nice question... good POV... but as for you it's not possible more likely impossible..

wut good lo l

When it started to climb between my legs, my balls and its claws only separated by a thin blanket, I sincerely considered throwing it (the cat, not my member) out of the window.

Where’s the pizza?” Something warm and furry came and leaned against my right leg. I reached down to pet Rocky, a black lab who was going gray around his eyes and muzzle. “Rocky wants to know where the pizza is, too.” “He’s the reason the food is in the kitchen. Last time we kept it out here on the picnic table, he helped himself to half of a large bacon pepperoni pizza and then he threw up in my mom’s closet. She was cleaning dog barf out of her shoes for days.” I squatted down and rubbed Rocky’s ears. “I bet you were framed, huh, buddy?” He leaned into the ear rub and sighed. “I bet it was the cat, wasn’t it?” He sighed again like he was agreeing with me. “Nice try, but there isn’t that much barf in a cat,” Trevor said.

Why are there so many people out here?' Boomer asked as we bobbed and weaved roughly forward. 'Christmas shopping.' I explained. 'Already? Isn't it early to returning things?' I really had no sense of how his mind worked.

With more insight into the English character, I poured out a stiff whisky and soda and placed it in front of the gloomy inspector.

Without a word, I moved beside him.He slid the cutting board in front of me. "First," he said, coming behind me and placing his hands on the counter, just outside of mine, "choose your tomato." He dipped his head so his mouth was at my ear. His breath was warm, tickling my skin. "Good. Now pick up the knife." "Does the hef always stand this close?" I asked, not sure If I liked of feared the flutter his closeness caused inside me. "When he is revealing culinary secrets, yes. Hold the knife like you mean it.

Y'all got your heads tucked so far up your rears, she's petrified the kid's gonna need a shrink before he can shit in a dish.

You are all made of real poop.

When you're stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

You bite your lip when you're lying, Henry." "And yours move when you're being a nosy fuckmuppet.

You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused. "No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same.

And for once i didn't look back.

- You gave me a dead frog for my birthday! - To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.

You're not seriously going?" Troy asks. "Of course I'm going," I say. "What other choice do I have?" "Um...not going.

You're the most annoying girl on the planet. You make me want to throw myself off a bridge. And, unfortunately, I am one hundred percent, head-over-heels, crazy in love with you.

Your... Your aura. It's... amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today... Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.' I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit up around Dimitri normally, what on earth happened to my aura post-sex?

You were at the party on Friday night, weren't you?" I didn't mentioned I'd followed him into the woods. He leaned back in his chair, his legs sprawled out. His boots nudged the bottom ruffle of my skirt. "Aye." Aye? Seriously? Could he be any hotter? Unless he had been looking for his girlfriend at the party. Not hot. "I was supposed to meet my cousin," he elaborated, "but I didn't find her," Hot again.

you could cry, get worried or angry like any other human being, as long as you remembered that up above your spirit was laughing out loud at those thorny situation

You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But I am one of many.” “Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. “One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out. “Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up!

You, my child, will marry well. More than once." (...) The lady retrieved the cards and shuffled them back together into one stack in an attitude of dismissal. Taking this as a sign her fortune was complete, Preshea stood. Looking particularly pleased with life, she passed over a few coins and gave Madame Spetuna a nice curtsy. Mademoiselle Geraldine was fanning herself. "Oh, dear, oh, dear, Miss Buss. Let us hope it is widowhood and not" - she whispered the next word - "divorce that leads to your multiple marriages." Preshea sat and sipped from a china cup. "I shouldn't worry, Headmistress. I am tolerably certain it will be widowhood.

Your name. That’s all I want.” I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.

And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll" -Kaname Kuran "I DONT WANT IT!" -Zero Kiryu "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" -Juri Elizabeth Marin

And I've got THIS," I pulled out the signum and held it up for him to see, "that says I'm kindred. And I've got THIS," I pointed at my head, "that says I'm as smart as you. And I have THIS," I held up my middle finger, "that says go to hell, you immortal bigot." And with that I spun around and stomped out the door, filing the expression on Arthur's face in a mental folder labeled "Kate's Proudest Moments".

Angélique Sookie, toi qui es la beauté et la grâce incarnées, pardonne-moi. Je suis accablé à l'idée que cette ménade malfaisante et démoniaque ait pu oser violenter ce corps parfait et voluptueux qui est le tien, dans l'intention de faire parvenir un message à mon indigne et misérable personne.

And why is Heather wearing pink? Come on, people." Heather rolled her eyes and disappeared back inside the tent, reappearing a minute later with a dark gray T-shirt on. "Better?" She cocked her head at tristan. "Yes. You've just extended your life by at least an hour.

Better to have an education than a husband. At least you know what you're getting with the education.

Anything can be art, it just might be bad art.

Are you going to sleep in the bed with me?” Jensen shrugged. “I hadn’t really gotten that far. If we share a bed . . .” His meaning was clear. “You think if we share a bed, we might have sex.” He nodded, studying me. “We might.” I could barely move, I was shaking so intensely. “Do you want sex?” I laughed at myself immediately. “I mean, not that we—it’s just, tonight when you kissed me, it felt like you weren’t just playing.” “I fucking love sex,” he said in a quiet growl. “Of course I want it. But tonight was complicated, and I don’t just have sex with someone on impulse.” “God.” I let my head fall back against the headboard. “That’s incredibly hot, and I don’t even know why.” “Pippa.” I grinned up at him. “Jensen.” My heart beat a savage rhythm in my chest as he reached forward, lifting a hand and touching my bottom lip with the tip of his index finger. “Do you like sex?” he whispered. Oh, fuck me. “Yes.

Azdaha were no joke. ... Not much is known about this dragon [the aforementioned Gandarw], except that he apparently had yellow heels. I wonder why that was such an important detail. I mean if I were describing Godzilla, the color of his heels wouldn’t be the first thing I would mention.

Clary?" he thought. Her voice came through, tinged with alarm. "What is it? What's happened? Did my mom find out I'm gone?" "Not yet," he thought back. "Is Azazel the cat from the Smurfs?" There was a long pause. "That's Azrael, Simon. And no more using the magic rings for Smurfs question.

Butt holes are like a one-way street; they were made the way they were for a reason.

Cazadores de Sombras: se les ve mejor el negro que a las viudas de sus enemigos dede 1234.

Com maior percepção do caráter inglês, servi uma forte dose de uísque com soda e coloquei-a na frente do desditado inspetor.

CUT! ... Cut... ... FUCKING CUT IT! .... Where is the fucking screenplay?

Como vulgarmente se dice, se le ponía la piel de gallina cada vez que se rompía un huevo.

Dan moans behind me, reminding her of the problem. She straightens in fear at the sound of his voice, peers over my shoulder at the chunk of bloody beef that is Dan Sikorsky. She looks slowly from him to me. “What did you do?” I duck my head, embarrassed. “I sort of lost my temper.