Best 3947 quotes in «dog quotes» category

My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo? Why did you say 'Moo'?" The other dog says, "I'm trying to learn a foreign language.

My next door neighbor's two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than this current administration.

My name is Oprah Winfrey. I have a talk show. I'm single. I have eight dogs-five golden retrievers, two black labs, and a mongrel. I have four years of college.

My name is Mary Katherine Blackwood. I am eighteen years old, and I live with my sister Constance. I have often thought that with any luck at all, I could have been born a werewolf, because the two middle fingers on both my hands are the same length, but I have had to be content with what I had. I dislike washing myself, and dogs, and noise. I like my sister Constance, and Richard Plantagenet, and Amanita phalloides, the death-cup mushroom. Everyone else in our family is dead.

My notion of a great novel is something like a five-hundred-page shaggy-dog story, with only the punch line omitted.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

My relaxation has always been my animals - going to the dog park with them, going to the beach.

My purpose, my whole life, had been to love him and be with him, to make him happy. I didn’t want to cause any unhappiness now—in that way, I decided it was probably better than he wasn’t here to see this, though I missed him so much at that moment the ache of it was as bad as the strange pains in my belly.

My recipe for bliss on a Friday night consists of a 'New York Times' crossword puzzle and a new episode of 'Homicide;' Saturdays and Sundays are oriented around walks in the woods with the dog, human companion in tow some of the time but not always.

My serve has killed a small dog ... I'm joking, I'm joking! The dog was huge!

My routine is get up, have a cup of coffee, make a shake, have a workout, go walk the dog.

My saddle horses are my friends. My dogs are my friends.

My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.

My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.

My sons named her Bridget because that way they always had their sister, Bridget, with them. People thought we were nuts because on the phone they'd hear us say, "Bridget, sit!

My tragedy is that all I want is a dog, and yet I have been cursed with cats all my life.

My very first tattoo was for my dog, Zora, who died in my arms in New York. Right where her heart stopped beating I got a "Z".

My view is quite simple. When your dog pees on the carpet, you do not give away your dog. You say, This dog is special. I have to teach him not to pee on the carpet. I feel exactly the same way about men. They need to be taught things.

My wife and I love to read. Were going to have to move out to make room for the books! And we have our dogs.

My wife and I volunteer for the Guide Dog Foundation, and we have two giant labs.

My wife and my three kids and my grandchildren are my life, but my horses and my dogs are everything else.

My wife and I went to jail in Selma. The difference when I was back there recently? White folks? No. Black folks who were not scared. I was behind the president this time. When I was a little boy and ran around with trifling dudes, I was the only one scared of dogs. And I was bitten 14 times! Dogs smell scared. And that's the same thing with people: 50 years ago they smelled fear. There was no fear this time.

My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.

My wife, Tania, is very big on dogs, so I'm always paying out to animal charities.

My wife fosters dogs, to try and give these lost puppies a chance to get adopted. I'm grateful to my wife for that, she brings that element to my family and my kids get to understand what that means.

My writer friends, and they are legion, do not go around beaming with quiet feelings of contentment. Most of them go around with haunted, abused, surprised looks on their faces, like lab dogs on whom very personal deodorant sprays have been tested.

My writing process isn't a very organized thing. The actual writing part is a tiny part of my life. I often write in public. I bring my laptop or write freehand in notebooks. Then, I'll read through them while I exercise or walk the dog. The very last thing I do is the sitting alone at the computer part.

Naturally animals are very special to me, especially dogs.

Naturally, when a young fellow steps up into a big position, it breeds jealousy among those whom he's left behind and uneasiness among those to whom he's pulled himself up. Between them he's likely to be subjected to a lot of petty annoyances. But he's in the fix of a dog with fleas who's chasing a rabbit -- if he stops to snap at the tickling on his tail, he's going to lose his game dinner.

Nature exists for man no more than she does for monkeys, and is as regardless of his life or pleasure or success as she is of the fleas. Her waves will drown him, her fire burn him, and her earth devour him, her storms and lightning smite him, as if he were only a dog.

Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who possessed beauty without vanity, strength without insolence, courage without ferocity, and all the virtues of man, without his vices. This praise, which would be unmeaning flattery if inscribed over human ashes, is but a just tribute to the memory of Botswain, a dog.

Neo-Hoodoo is the 8 basic dances of 19th century New Orleans' Place Congo- the Calinda the Bamboula the Chacta the Babouille the Conjaille the Juba the Congo and the VooDoo- modernized into the Philly Dog, the Hully Gully, the Funky Chicken, the Popcorn, the Boogaloo and the dance of great American choreographer Buddy Bradley.

Never chain your dogs together with sausages. One must accustom one's self to be bored.

Never did tombs look so ghastly white. Never did cypress, or yew, or juniper so seem the embodiment of funeral gloom. Never did tree or grass wave or rustle so ominously. Never did bough creak so mysteriously, and never did the far-away howling of dogs send such a woeful presage through the night.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is really advice to myself, a reminder to myself not to avoid change or uncertainty, but to go with it, to surf into change.

Never have a dog. Let's not beat around the bush here: dogs are morons.

Never beg for mercy. Accept that you have failed. Begging is for dogs and humans.

Next week John Boehner will be sitting behind Barack Obama at the State of the Union address. I think Obama should purposely try to embarrass him by telling the story of 'Old Yeller.' The state of our Union is strong, but not so good for one special dog.'

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are "same sex" marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.

Next to the dog, the wastebasket is your best friend.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Nobody ever saw a dog make a fair and deliberate exchange of one bone for another with another dog.

No babies for me until I'm in my 30s! I'm focused on my career right now. I can't even take care of my dog.

Nobody, I mean nobody, puts ketchup on a hot dog.

Nobody's going to get a hot dog at my concert!

Nobody's going to tell me that my dog doesn't love me. That's crazy talk.

No dog is too much for me to handle. I rehabilitate dogs, I train people. I am the dog whisperer.

No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.