Best 3518 quotes in «humour quotes» category

We're all leaving now", Blue Eyes whispered to her. "Together. Out the front door. Scream, and we'll kill you here and now. "Or later", Willow suggested nervously. "Later would be a big improvement on that idea. We could meet back here in, say, an hour, and you can exhibit your homicidal tendencies then, okay? That would be way better for us.

We're going up there," she told them. "To the Keep. Your first instinct will be to protect me, I know-" "Here it comes," Dyer muttered "But do me a favor and protect each other. Understand, Dyer?" "Yes, Lady, yes! Because that's what I signed up for: to guard other guards while I leave the Queen to her own devices.

We're not here for a long time. We're here for a good time.

Wer lügt, hat die Wahrheit immerhin gedacht.

Wer nicht liebt Wein, Weib, und Gesang, Der bleibt ein Narr sein Lebenlang (He who loves not Wine, Women and Song Remains a fool his whole life long)

We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.

We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.

We shouldn't judge people. But there's a difference between judging and observing. And sometimes as we observe, our eyebrows become raised. Observation with an attitude, that's what I like to call it.

We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.

We sometimes congratulate someone, not because we value or find worthy what they have just achieved, but only because we fear coming across as jealous.

We spend a huge chunk of our lives worrying about whether or not we will eventually get the person and/or the things we need or want. Once we get them, we spend the rest of our lives worrying about whether or not we will eventually lose them.

We stopped and listened. Just on the cusp of hearing I detected a rhythmic pounding, more a vibration in the concrete than a sound. 'Drums,' I said and then because I couldn't resist it. 'Drums in the deep.' 'Drum and Bass in the deep,' said Kumar.

We stop at the door. I’m still smiling. ‘Well, bye,’ Noah says. ‘Don’t call us! We’ll call you!’ I say to Noah. And I shoot the air with cowboy guns. Noah blinks.

...we've already had one horrible thing happen today, which means that if you think about it the odds of anything else horrible happening again in the next few hours should now be quite low.

We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

We watch television and we play music, but mostly we've found ways to amuse ourselves." "Really?" Valkyrie asked. "Like what?" Plight's smile faded. "Like human sacrifice." He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out. They both let go, laughing. "Naw," Plight said," we just play board games.

We were young, she continued, while she had a bad heart. Did we not want to earn our tips, she asked us and, cowed, we refrained from introducing the subject again. Her bad heart, I noticed, did not force her to abstain from smoking, or from eating large portions of puddings. Every time I heard her opening how she could not carry anything heavy, I thought sourly "except yourself".

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

What a beautiful day to go to hell

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?" "No, we're going to find a way to let our friends in, and we'll let them fight while we stand by and look smug." "I like that plan." "It has its moments.

What are you doing here?” All right, he was standing in front of an easel, holding a paint palette and brush. “Taxidermy?” he responded with just a touch of his own sarcasm.

What a shabby lot of highbrows have turned out tonight," he said, when he saw us. "It makes me ashamed to be one.

What could she have done? She was a heroine, and with that came certain obligations.

What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.

What does Mrs Preston want to go abroad for?' asked Mr Leslie. 'I think her doctor wanted her to, Father,' said Agnes. 'Doctors!' said Mr Leslie, wiping the whole of the Royal College of Physicians off the face of the world with this withering remark.

What do you do,' said Jean, 'with, ah, "ungifted" children when you have them?' 'Cherish them and raise them, you imbecile. Most of them end up working for us, in Karthain and elsewhere. What did you think we'd do, burn them on a pyre?' 'Forget I asked

What does she even eat, do you think?" "Tea fungus,"Ruth says. "Unsweetened. From an eye dropper. Is what I picture. either that or some sort of sea vegetable." "Sad," I say. "It is," Ruth muses. We decide to order two skim milk cappuccinos and split a gluten-free carrot cake cupcake.

What do you mean Ronan's a magical entity? Is he a demon? Because this all makes sense if so.

What do you think of Lord St. Vincent?” Pandora asked eagerly. West’s gaze moved to a man who appeared to be a younger version of his sire, with bronze-gold hair that gleamed like new-minted coins. Princely handsome. A cross between Adonis and the Royal Coronation Coach. With deliberate casualness, West said, “He’s not as tall as I expected.” Pandora looked affronted. “He’s every bit as tall as you!” “I’ll eat my hat if he’s an inch over four foot seven.” West clicked his tongue in a few disapproving tsk-tsks. “And still in short trousers.” Half annoyed, half amused, Pandora gave him a little shove. “That’s his younger brother Ivo, who is eleven. The one next to him is my fiancé.” “Aah. Well, I can see why you’d want to marry that one.

What followed was for him a very entertaining spectacle, with one of Edward's brothers seemingly intent upon the most subtle of seductions and the other barely able to force malmsey past the gorge rising in his throat.

What happened?" he asked brusquely, interrupting me. "What do you mean, what happened?" "I sensed your fear, heard you call out my name." "I...no, I didn't." Stone Wall, I told myself. Great Wall of China, around my thoughts. "The Great Wall of China isn't going to do it, Violet. Come on, tell me what happened.

What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism. - Rufus, Dogma

What in the blue star-blazes did you see in Jason?" he asked, still forcefully but with his frustration and jealousy under better control. "For one thing, Djetth, he wasn't trying to kill me!" ("Marsh", heroine of Insufficient Mating Material)

What I am trying to say is that more than your own life has to be at stake, before a person becomes desperate enough to resort to math.

What have you got in there you little bastard?

What in cat hell just happened?

What I Found in My Desk A ripe peach with an ugly bruise, a pair of stinky tennis shoes, a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye, a swimsuit that I left to dry, a pencil that glows in the dark, some bubble gum found in the park, a paper bag with cookie crumbs, an old kazoo that barely hums, a spelling test I almost failed, a letter that I should have mailed, and one more thing, I must confess, a note from teacher: Clean This Mess!!!!

What I say is, if a witch can't look after herself, she's got no business calling herself a witch.

What is Gornite? Why can't you heat it? Will it make you laugh? - I hope so

What is the meaning of life?" asked man. "Seek and ye shall find," said God. "That was my method." The man replied, "How might I do that?" "Take a setting," instructed God. "Add some dirt and water, mold it into something likeable. Let there be light to break up the darkness. Plant some trees and fruit. Don't forget to put in a few animals. Then create a few wild things that are as curious in thought as you, and let them figure the damned thing out.

What I still don’t get though,” ventured John. “Is why you did it?” “Did what?” “Put that dress on in the first place.” “I don’t know really,” said Dennis, a puzzled look crossing his face. “I suppose it’s because it was fun.” “Fun?” said John. “Well you know when we were younger and we used to run around the garden pretending to be Daleks or Spiderman or whatever?” “Yeah.” “It felt like that. Like playing,” said Dennis confidently.

What is this place?’ ‘Heaven.’ She laughed, ‘with better drinks!

What kind of slut do you think I am?” Theo bumped his hips against hers. “This might not be the best moment to ask me that.

What is it about ye, Sassenach, I wonder?” he said conversationally, eyes still fixed on Myers. “What is what about me?” He turned then, and gave me a narrow eye. “What it is that makes every man ye meet want to take off his breeks within five minutes of meetin’ ye.” “Well, if you don’t know, my dear,” I said, “no one does.

What is it, you ask?" Kali said, trying to cover her surprise with nonchalant words. "I haven't thought of a name yet. Got any ideas?" "Shit," the pirate said, said of. The gag made elocution difficult. "That wouldn't impress anyone at the patent office.

What is your motive when you go to church? To feed or to be fed? To serve or to be served? To worship or to be worshipped? To praise or to be praised? To teach or to learn? To give or to receive? Remember the woman with the issue of blood did not met Jesus in the church. Blind barthimus was blind though he could hear did not see Jesus but heard about Jesus passing; I am just wondering how many people have heard about Jesus through you? Who was this man interested in? Your answer might be Jesus of course but definitely not. The man loves himself and so was seeking healing even when the crowd could not allow him see Jesus. Let the crowd in the church not deceive you because God usually speak to one. (A bit deep).

What is your name?” she said crossing her legs. “I am Raj Singhania, owner of Singhania group of Industries and I am on my way to sign a 1000 crore deal.” “Oh my God, Oh my God!” she said laughing and looked at Bobby from top to bottom. “What’s with this OMG thing and girls, stop saying that. I am not going to propose you anytime soon. But it’s OK. I can understand how girls feel when they meet famous dudes like me,” Bobby said smiling. “What kind of an idiot are you?” she said laughing. “Indeed, a very rare one. The one that you find after searching for millions of years,” Bobby said. “Do you always talk like this?” she said laughing. “Only to strangers on bus or whenever I get bored,” Bobby said. “OK, tell me your real name,” she said. “My name is Mogaliputta Tissa and I am here to save the world.” “Oh no not again!” she said squeezing her head with both her hands. “I know you are dying inside to kiss me,” Bobby said flashing a smile. “Why would I kiss you?” she said with a pretended sternness. “Because, you are impressed with my intelligence level and the hotness quotient, I can see that in your eyes.” “You think you are hot! Oh no! You look like that cartoon guy in 7 up commercial,” she said laughing. “Thank you. He was the coolest guy I saw on TV,” Bobby said. “OK fine, let’s calm down. Tell me your real name,” she said calmly. “I don’t remember my name,” Bobby said calmly. “What kind of idiot forgets his name?” she said staring into Bobby’s eyes. “I am suffering from multiple personality disorder and I forgot my present personality’s name. Can you help me out?” Bobby said with an innocent look on his face. “I will kill you with my hair clip. Leave me alone,” she said and closed her eyes. “You look like a Pomeranian puppy,” Bobby said looking at her hair. “Don’t talk to me,” she said. “You look very beautiful,” Bobby said. “Nice try but I am not going to open my eyes,” she said. “Your ear rings are very nice. But I think that girl in the last seat has better rings,” Bobby said. “She is not wearing any ear rings. I know because I saw her when I was getting inside. It takes just 5 seconds for a girl to know what other girls around her are wearing,” she said with her eyes still closed. “Hey, look. They are selling porn CDs at a roadside shop,” Bobby said. “I have loads of porn in my personal computer. I don’t need them,” she said. “OMG, that girl looks hotter than you,” Bobby said. “I will not open my eyes no matter what. Even if an earthquake hits the road, I will not open my eyes,” she said crossing her arms over her chest. Bobby turned back and waved his hand to the kid who was poking his mom’s ear. The kid came running and halted at Bobby’s seat. “This aunty wants to give you a chocolate if you tell her your name,” Bobby whispered to the kid and the kid perked up smiling. “Hello Aunty! Wake up, my name is Bintu. Give me my chocolate, Aunty, please!” the kid said yanking at the girl’s hand. All of a sudden, she opened her eyes and glared at the kid. “Don’t call me aunty. What would everyone think? I am a teenage girl. Go away. I don’t have anything to give you,” she said and the kid went back to his seat. “This is what happens when you mess with an intelligent person like me,” Bobby said laughing. “Shut up,” she said. “OK dude.” “I am not a dude. Stop it.” “OK sexy. Oops! OK Saxena,” “I will scream.” “OK. Where do you study?” “Why should I tell you?” “Are you suffering from split personality disorder like me?” Bobby said staring into her eyes. “Shut up. Don’t talk to me,” she said with a pout. “What the hell! I have enlightened your mind with my thoughts, told you my name and now you are acting like you don’t know me. Girls are mad.

What man is able to do that, that thou should ask such things of me?

What nature hath joined together, multiple regression analysis cannot put asunder.