Best 3518 quotes in «humour quotes» category

You’ve got a big ego, Fuentes.” “That’s not all I’ve got.

You two look like potatoes.

You've got to be fucking kidding me!” The words are out of my mouth before I can put my brain into gear. He must have felt the pain from five pairs of eyes burning straight into the side of his head. Red hot, radioactive beams buzzing onto his temple as he quickly turns his attention to the group of people staring at him. Then his eyes fall on me. Yet again, I melt on the spot at the chocolate pools looking at me.

You want them to give Batman counselling sessions?" "It's genius. Just make Bruce Wayne get over his shit, then, presto, no more Batman. The baddies win by default.

You want my help or not?” I say, putting my hand on my hips and looking sassier than Rhianna. All I need now is a latex outfit, plastic whip and chain-mail lead. I know I’ve got him just where I want him.

You want fantasy? Here's one... There's this species that lives on a planet a few miles above molten rock and a few miles below a vacuum that'd suck the air right out of them. They live in a brief geological period between ice ages, when giant asteroids have temporarily stopped smacking into the surface. As far as they can tell, there's nowhere else in the universe where they could stay alive for ten seconds. And what do they call their fragile little slice of space and time? They call it real life.

You want the truth? I’ve been fucked and betrayed often enough to not trust anybody. And that includes you.” Frank shrugged. “Don’t take it personal.” “Join the club. We meet Tuesdays. We never share the location with each other, and we show up armed.

You were in the trunk while they —” This time, Gentry closed his eyes. “Please. I’m going to have flashbacks. I don’t want flashbacks.” Sophie couldn’t contain their amusement any longer and broke out into laughter. “Odette, you naughty girl!” “I didn’t know he was back there!” She didn’t turn around. Odette didn’t want to see the look on Sophie’s face. “If I did, I wouldn’t have climbed into Keahi’s lap in the first place!” “Okay!,” Gentry said. “I don’t need visuals, either.

You were not acquainted with my father, Mr Morville. I have often been sorry that you were not, for you would have been excessively pleased with one another. My father was a great reader, though not, of course, during the hunting-season.

You will always end up in frustration whenever you try to produce outside your purpose.

You will do well to take advantage of Madame's short residence to get up your French a little... You will be glad of this, my dear, when you have reached France, where you will find they speak nothing else.

You will suffer, son of Hades!’ What else is new? Nico thought.

You will try to improve me, Captain, but I tell you it cannot be done. I am resigned to moral apathy and corporeal decrepitude, and have done with projections. No, Captain,” with a pining sigh, “I think I will simply sit in the shade and wait for either a customer or death, the latter I might prefer, at such a point.

A British villain never loses their sense of humour.

All humour is critical, you know? You make stupid jokes. I mean, stupidity is an infirmity, isn't it?

A little humour is good for the soul - regardless of how old you may be.

A sense of humour is a sense of proportion.

A musician cannot move others unless he too is moved. He must of necessity feel all of the affects that he hopes to arouse in his audience, for the revealing of his own humour will stimulate a like humour in the listener.

A sense of humour and a little lack of respect: That's what you need to make a legend survive.

By pagans the Jews (and later Christians) were seen as perverse, almost indeed as atheists, for they denied the very existence of other gods.

At home I've got a very puerile, juvenile sense of humour.

As soon as I got funny, I killed any majestic intentions in my work.

But alas! Like many another consummation devoutly to be wished, the actual performance was a disappointing one.

Campo, as everyone in chess recognized, had a 2600 rating as a politician.

DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

Cynicism is the humour of hatred

DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

HELPED are those who laugh with a pure heart; theirs will be the company of the jolly righteous.

everybody fancies they have that rare thing, a sense of humour.

For a poet to depict a poet in poetry is a hazardous experiment; in regarding one's own trade a sense of humour and a little wholesome cynicism are not amiss.

Even with the darkest and most distressing subjects in movies there's always going to be humour not far away, just under the surface. And it does help otherwise we'd just get ourselves into a massive trough of depression if there wasn't humour just around the corner.

Having a sense of humour is really key. You have to have a sense of humour with these things and I've just tried to remain who I am. My life has changed. It's changed in the fact that I don't have the freedoms I did before, but I've also got a huge amount of other freedoms that came along with it.

HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

Humour in its highest reach mingles with pathos: it voices sorrow for our human lot and reconciliation with it.

Human humour often consists of pretending to wish something does not really wish.

Humour ended up being a really useful skill when it came time to be an international television celebrity.

Humour is the best way to make the unbearable bearable.

Humour is like violence. They both come to you unexpectedly, and the more unpredictable they both are, the better it gets.

Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch.

Humour is God's special gift to humanity. Handy, because it turns out to be necessary.

Humour is the making others act or talk absurdly and unconsciously; wit is the pointing out and ridiculing that absurdity consciously, and with more or less ill-nature.

I am in fear, there is no humour left in public life because of this fear.

I guess a lot of police keep their sanity by developing black humour.

If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of sex!

If you don't have humour, then you may as well nail the coffin lid down now.

I definitely try to mix humour into anything I do, even if it is into a drama.

If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas

I have a humorous side but these days humour can be a risky thing.

I love a girl with a good sense of humour, who is confident but who has a sweetness to her - that melts my heart.

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humour.