Best 3518 quotes in «humour quotes» category

Nature" doesn't really have intentions, per se. Nature is a drunk waking up from a weekend bender, ambling through a messy kitchen in a pair of mismatched slippers, seeing its car in the neighbor's pool and saying, "Ah good. It was dirty. Just the thing.

Nate shook his head with a crooked grin. "You haven't gone Back to the Future, McFly.

Naw, I say. Mr ____, can tell you, I don't like it at all. What is it to like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your waist, plunge in. Most times I pretend I ain't there. He never know the difference. Never ast me how I feel, nothing. Just do his business, get off, go to sleep. She start to laugh. Do his business, she say. Do his business. Why, Miss Celie. You make it sound like he going to the toilet on you. That's what it feel like, I say. She stop laughing.

Necessity is a mother.

Neither any one in this world is born as our friend nor born as our enemy. Our behavior, attitude & approach makes them become either one.

Need to get to Ruislip by sparrow-fart though', said the squadron leader. 'Think you can do that? Can I come along for the ride?

Neither (brother) even glaced at the counter. She smiled. Her dumb brothers never cooked. She didn’t think they even knew how! A human being who needs food to live but cannot prepare that food to eat? Pathetic. In this case, it was an advantage. They weren’t interested in any food until it had been cooked for them.

Nem biztosíthatunk magángépet vallástörténeti könyvek szerzőinek. Ha hajlandó vagy megírni Az ikonográfia ötven árnyalatát, akkor beszélhetünk róla.

Nekünk áldozatunk van. Miért nevezzük áldozatnak? Mert amikor elfogadunk egy megbízást, az illető hátralévő rövidke élete puszta formaság.

Network administrators all share an abiding and passionate desire for one thing: We want our users to shut up.

- Neuf heures et demie ! Non merci. Les plus beaux pectoraux de la Terre ne me feront pas lever aux aurores comme Danette. - Pourquoi pas ? - Je suis une femme moderne et éduquée. Je ne peux quand même pas m'adonner au culte de l'homme objet.

Never follow the crowd.... Until and unless you're crossing the road...

Never grow up!

Never go for a drink in London's square mile, nobody ever gets a round in.

Never make a person feel, that he/she is very (extra) special.. Cause, then that person starts feeling that 'You' are not worth him/her.

Never look in the mirror when your stressed it’s contagious

Never stop depending on God.

Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you.

never say never. whoops - said it twice

Never say no to now

Never trust a person whose smile doesn't reach their eyes, chances are they do similar thing when they "cry" - Just be sure you have that OSCAR ready next time they do this

Nevertheless now have I asked thee but only of the fire and wind, and of the day where-through thou hast passed, and of things from which thou canst not be separated, and yet canst thou give me no answer of them.

Never worry if you’re excluded from the circle, sometimes it’s full of squares.

New becomes stale and old becomes fresh. The impractical, ageing estate long ago left behind to Singapore's pioneers and their homemade tofu stalls takes on a certain irreverence and originality; an anarchic streak even. It goes against the architectural grain. It stands out in a crowd, a rebel with curves. The reclusive behaviour only adds to the appeal. So the old place becomes "hip".

News of the death of James V on 14 December gave even further cause for rejoicing, because his heir was a week-old girl, the infant Mary, Queen of Scots. Scotland would be subject to yet another weakening regency—it had endured six during the past 150 years—and should give no further trouble.

New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period. Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes and in your pants.

Newton Pulsifer had never had a cause in his life. Nor had he, as far as he knew, ever believed in anything. It had been embarassing, because he quite wanted to believe in something, since he recognized that belief was the lifebelt that got most people through the choppy waters of Life. He'd have liked to believe in a supreme God, although he'd have preferred a half-hour's chat with Him before committing himself, to clear up one or two points. He'd sat in all sorts of churches, waiting for that single flash of blue light, and it hadn't come. And then he'd tried to become an official Atheist and hadn't got the rock-hard, self-satisfied strenght of belief even for that. And every single political party had seemed to him equally dishonest. And he'd given up on ecology when the ecology magazine he'd been subscribing to had shown its readers a plan of a self-suficient garden, and had drawn the ecological goat tethered within three feet of the ecological beehive. Newt had spent a lot of time at his grandmother's house in the country and thought he knew something about the habits of both goats and bees, and concluded therefore that the magazine was run by a bunch of bib-overalled maniacs. Besides, it used the word 'community' too often; Newton had always suspected that people who regularly used the word 'community' were using it in a very specific sense that excluded him and everyone he knew.

Next door but one is Quinlan Broddle, a Viceroy with a fear of gardens. So much so that he sold his garden to Virgin Atlantic and his erstwhile front lawn is now a runway where miniature helicopters and packets of crisps undertake sorties to 1940’s Dresden where they have made several dozen unsuccessful attempts to rescue the Quaker Oats man, who is being held captive by the SS on the basis that his hair looks like ice cream.

Next door to the Bensons is Emmet Frag, a retired pacemaker who is credited with inventing the notion of happiness. He’s currently working on a method for categorising ducks based on their singing voice. He’s also the owner of the world’s largest collection of tenor geese.

— Nézze, Győzelem néni... – szólt közbe kényszeredett mosollyal Percy. – Nem akarjuk megzavarni a tombolásban. Beszélje meg a dolgot magamagával, mi addig elugrunk nagyobb fegyverekért meg egy kis nyugtatóért.

Nice! There's no fun in nice. I'll be myself and you'll all love me for it.

Nick wanted to meet on campus at Love Library. (That was the actual name; thank you for your donation, Mayor Don Lathrop Love.)

No bikinis on a first date.” He nods. “I’m sure that’s a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway.

Nina was about to snap that she didn't appreciate the sarcasm when she saw the expression on his face. He looked like someone had just given him a tuba full of puppies.

No! Aguaje is for girls. If a man eats to much of it, he starts to look like a woman. That is the most unscientific thing I've ever heard. Then you haven't met my cousin Jacari. Too much aguaje. Now the mothers use him as wet nurse.

Nobody ever drowned in their own sweat.

No answer I could provide to that question could possibly serve my own future interests." Sarek straightened his sleeve and focused on her. "More wine, Wife?

Nobody is too holy for the devil's attack, even your tithes and offerings won't stop him either but God rebukes the devourer through your giving.

No body told you to call your band Salacious Mold, my friend.

No, but if I were an illegal, experimental replicant hiding the truth of an international conspiracy I would try and put myself out of the way of those investigating it, wouldn't you? I don't think hiding under a bed will be very successful. But, if you've any better idea of what the deadly robot assassin is up to, please feel free to act upon it.

No," I agreed. "The zombie apocalypse is still a few years off, right?" "That's up to you to decide. Tell you what, we'll do it for fun someday when you're really bored.

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another.

No, he didn’t come to me for a gun. I only said that because of you, thought maybe you’d want one, with being shot and everything.’ ‘Why the fuck would I want a gun? Would you ask a man who’s just been bitten by a shark if he wants to buy a shark?

No," he said, "look, it's very, very simple ... all I want ... is a cup of tea. You are going to make one for me. Keep quiet and listen." And he sat. He told the Nutri-Matic about India, he told it about China, he told it about Ceylon. He told it about broad leaves drying in the sun. He told it about silver teapots. He told it about summer afternoons on the lawn. He told it about putting in the milk before the tea so it wouldn't get scalded. He even told it (briefly) about the history of the East India Company. "So that's it, is it?" said the Nutri-Matic when he had finished. "Yes," said Arthur, "that is what I want." "You want the taste of dried leaves in boiled water?" "Er, yes. With milk." "Squirted out of a cow?" "Well, in a manner of speaking I suppose ...

No, it's the best time for jokes,' said Olivia. She forced a weak smile. 'Jokes remind us that we're alive. And that your sense of humor is terrible.

No man's advice can change you unless you speak to yourself. Bible school or seminars can't change you, going to church can't change you except you decide to change. Psalm 139:23 - 24

Noc była czarna jak sumienie faszysty, jak zamiary polskiego pana, jak polityka angielskiego ministra

No," he said, and he snapped his fingers. "You'll come work for me at K----. And be a real associate editor." I said, "I could bring you up on charges for that." "What?" "Work harassment in the sexual place.

No, little one, George's ghost won't come back. Human beings don't have souls. No soul, no ghost. Simple." "How can you say that?" protested Mopple. "We don't know whether humans have souls or not." "Every lamb knows that your soul is in your sense of smell. And human beings don't have very good noses." Maude herself had an excellent sense of smell, and often thought about the problem of souls and noses. "So you'd only see a very small ghost. Nothing to be afraid of.

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands... that can do your brain.