Best 3518 quotes in «humour quotes» category

I have a humorous side but these days humour can be a risky thing.

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humour.

I like doom and gloom with a sense of humour. Maybe it's a Scottish thing, we like to undercut indulgence with a laugh.

I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.

I love Andre 3000 from OutKast. I think we'd complement each other, but I'm hoping he's got a good sense of humour.

Inevitably you're going to be delayed somewhere. Always have a book. Always have a movie. Always have a notebook. And then always have a sense of humour.

I love inappropriate humour. What else are you going to do? You have to laugh.

I'm a big fan of shock value humour and I find myself being most comfortable when I make other people uncomfortable. Is that sick of me? I really like it.

I think if you come from a history of persecution you have to develop a sense of humour.

I love a girl with a good sense of humour, who is confident but who has a sweetness to her - that melts my heart.

It is hard for power to enjoy or incorporate humour and satire in its system of control.

In one sense, you put a lot of yourself into a small press - it's your personal tastes that are on the line - so when criticism is levelled it can feel personal. But, on the other hand, it can be very welcome and necessary. You're never entirely impervious, and one of the main benefits of being a small operation is that you can change the way you do things quickly in response to criticism. In all instances it pays to have a sense of humour and perspective.

I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do.

Laughter is more serious than tears.

Life is hard. It is not too short, it is too long. But you have to learn how to live; you have to have a sense of humour.

I've always been an optimist and I believe laughter is a wonderful thing

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.

My opponent is Short and the match will be short.

Now I have the pawn and the compensation.

Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that Humour excites in those who lack it.

Once I asked Teichman what he thought of Bird's chess: "Same as his health," he replied, "always alternating between being dangerously ill and dangerously well.

One never really knows how much one has been touched by a place until one has left it.

Nowadays tournaments are for nurseries. Look at those kiddies.

Only six need be attempted.

Sometimes strident, often tender, never afraid and seldom without humour, Desmond Tutu's voice will always be the voice of the voiceless.

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'.

The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight.

The ironic humor comes from the distance between what we understand about ourselves and what is truly going on in ourselves.

Seriousness is no more a guarantee of truth, insight, authenticity or probity, than humour is a guarantee of superficiality and stupidity.

Through humour, we see in what seems rational, the irrational; in what seems important, the unimportant

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.

The humour of Dostoievsky is the humour of a barloafer who ties a kettle to a dog's tail.

The whole [Scotch] nation hitherto has been void of wit and humour, and even incapable of relishing it.

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

Tod laughed. He was always able to find the humour in even the creepiest situations. I'd thought that it was an undead thing, until I became a member of the undead. Then I realized it was a Tod-thing.

We've had a day of great drama and of humour too. The rumour mill is now taking over

The worst in life, we are told, is compatible with the best in art. So too the worst in life is compatible with the best in humour.

We owe to one another all the wit and good humour we can command; and nothing so clears our mental vistas as sympathetic and intelligent conversation.

Whenever you find humour, you find pathos close by its side.

50% of all facts are false and the other half are just made up

When you absolutely don't know what to do anymore, it is time to panic

£500.” He hisses furiously at me. “I can’t believe I’ve spent £500 on an entire new wardrobe and a new haircut – one that I didn’t even want my I add!” As he talks, I skip happily, a dreamy smile plastered all over my face. I’ve had, without a shadow of a doubt, the best day ever. “I can.” I answer, my voice rising several decibels, as I lose myself, currently, on cloud nine. “I’ve loved spending your money. It feels awesome!

While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

A beach bum is just a blue-collar lounge lizard without a roof over their head.

98% of politicians are either corrupt or corruptible.

AAAAIIIE! You're the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing! Oh, and I think there's something about other things, and maybe you fix things? -Sergeant Schlock

[About Uluru] I'm suggesting nothing here, but I will say that if you were an intergalactic traveler who had broken down in our solar system, the obvious directions to rescuers would be: "Go to the third planet and fly around till you see the big red rock. You can't miss it." If ever on earth they dig up a 150,000-year-old rocket ship from the galaxy Zog, this is where it will be. I'm not saying I expect it to happen; not saying that at all. I'm just observing that if I were looking for an ancient starship this is where I would start digging.

absinthe removes the bitter taste of failure and grants me strange visions which are charming principally because they cannot be written down. Only in absinthe do I become entirely free and, when I drink it, I understand the symbolic mysteries of odour and of colour.

A bunch of bad songs, make an awful whine.