Best 648 quotes in «comedian quotes» category

Nerd. One whose unbridled passion for something defines who they are as a person, without fear of other people's judgment.

Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

No matter how you feel, you've got to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can laugh at Donald Trump, then you better be able to laugh at yourself, too. For us as comedians, we have to point out what's funny.

No wonder all the great comedians had such destructive private lives. ... After you get the audience into that kind of frenzy, and you are being worshiped like the false idol you are, how do you leave the stage and transition back into real life? ... What is there left to do but set yourself on fire?

Of the many qualities I adore about Melissa McCarthy as a comedian and as a dramatic actor, the best is how fully she gives herself to every character she plays.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

Oh yeah, I'd love to be a comedian. I've done a lot, but always in the confines of plays.

One can always lament, you know — but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian.

Old radio comedy makes me laugh, as well as 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' and comedians like Paul Merton.

Once or twice I`ve been described as a light comedian. I consider this the most accurate description of my abilities I`ve ever seen.

One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.

One night I attended a Laughing Liberally comedy show. There was one funny comedian there - Lee Camp.

Outside of performing, (a comedian) is someone who is analyzing life, thinking about it and trying to be observing so much. In my opinion, it can make you feel on the outside looking in.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

One of the problems I see with these comics on television, particularly cable television, is, since you can say anything in terms of sex and scatological references and so on, therefore, you should do it. So they all limit themselves to these subjects and this vocabulary. My objection is that it is a lack of articulateness. Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit. Wit is what these comedians lack.

One of the things I used to dream of is that if I could just be funny like Red Skelton, if I could be a comedian like Red Skelton - that's what I watched on TV - then maybe I would have friends. I just remember that if I told stories to my friends, they listened. And in my family, with nine people talking at the same time, it's really hard to get people to listen to you. We were all craving attention.

Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.

Pakistan hasn't been cast in the role of... interesting cultural place or, you know, land of great comedians.

Physics is very muddled again at the moment; it is much too hard for me anyway, and I wish I were a movie comedian or something like that and had never heard anything about physics!

Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

Philosophers, comedians, and tipsy birthday celebrants all have proposed theories about why time seems to move increasingly swiftly as we grow older. But the most disconcerting rationale is not a theory. It is the undeniable realization that every day we live constitutes a smaller percentage of the accrued experience with which we awaken each morning, and therefore seems proportionately a smidgen quicker and smaller than the day before.

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.

Really good comedians, you know, when they go on stage, they don't really care what the audience - they're fearless, you know? They're so comfortable that they don't care. They don't have that neediness where they need the laughs.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

Reggie Watts is a most unusual talent: a huge vocal range, a natural musicality, and a sidesplitting wit. Is he a comedian? A singer? A performance artist? I've seen him a few times since then and I still can't decide. Whatever, he ain't like nobody else.

Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I was a huge Steve Martin fan, so I really hoped I would get this part. I don't think there was any part in particular that I auditioned for. I just went in and talked with them. There were so many parts in there, and so many comedians ended up getting in that movie, playing different firemen and townspeople.

Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world.

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

So I kept it to myself. Then some of my classmates started to come down to the comedy club, taking a girl out, and they started finding out I was a stand-up comedian.

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away.

Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can't continue with the "urbane sophisticate" 'til the day I die.

Some comedians really are funnier than others. Some people really are more beautiful than others. But these are true only because of the kinds of creatures we happen to be; the perceptual apparatus - apparati - that we happen to have.

Some comedians you work with, they only turn on when the camera turn on, and they're like sad-faced clowns when the camera's off. And then, they come alive when the camera come on. And you be like, "Oh, damn. You're not a depressed ball of depression, but you are actually funny.

Some of the best ideas I've gotten for my act have come from comedians and not magicians.

Sometimes I don't want to go out and socialize; I just want to watch my favorite shows and comedians. But then I have to remember that it is important to participate in life if you want to portray real life on screen.

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

Some performers are brilliant comedians, some are genius musicians, and some just make you happy to be alive. THE BOBS are all of that - and then some.

Standup comedians are attracted to one another because of their faults. So we're all kind of messed up in the same way, and once I was around a group of people that saw the world in a different way, it's like this is where I need to be.

That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.

Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs.

That's the thing that most people don't realize. In real life, comedians aren't funny. They save it. They save it up.

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.