Best 648 quotes in «comedian quotes» category

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    I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists.

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    I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as I used to, but I can still be a little comedian every now and then.

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    I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he read it and then took his cigarette lighter and lit the page on...

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    I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

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    I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

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    I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

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    I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

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    I am not so secretly a comedian. I write a lot of my own material if you've seen videos I've done. I write jokes.

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    I am trying to work out what my taste is, comedy-wise. I look up to stand up comedians who appear to be telling the truth, but I don't mind if they are lying.

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    I became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.

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    I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

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    I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

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    I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

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    I believe that any type of education can be great, but an education about ourselves can create something wonderful. I am a comedian, but people have called me a motivational speaker. I don't really consider myself that at all.

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    I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

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    I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.

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    I could be a comedian. I could be a gangster. I could play all of those parts, even for the first time... I'm versatile.

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    I couldn't tell people what I wanted to do because I was from Atlanta. You don't tell people you're gonna be a comedian in Atlanta. That means you ain't gonna do nothing.

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    I do make a concscious effort to be genuine among other comedians. If I write something or try something that doesn't feel like me, I stop doing it.

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    I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.

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    I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.

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    I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

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    I'd like to help other comedians and when I get a little older I'd like to open up a nice comedy club that is straight classy, with a straight restaurant and a chef. The whole thing, red carpet, and treating people nice, for people to come back and have a good time. That's the kind of comedy club I want to open up.

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    I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

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    I do films which get me out of my comedian routine so that I don't get bored being a stand-up comedian. And with films, it's here today, gone tomorrow. So stand-up comedy is here to stay for me.

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    I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

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    I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.

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    I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.

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    I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there.

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    I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz.

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    I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.

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    I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

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    I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

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    I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.

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    I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

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    I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.

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    I don't mind being accused of being a bad comedian and I don't even mind being accused of being a bad talk-show host, but I never want to be accused of being an arrogant, pompous showbiz asshole.

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    I don't think a comedian should even be concerned with being cool or sexy, as soon as you do, you aren't a comedian any more. Looks are still the most important thing for women when it comes to meeting a partner. And that's fair enough, but a sense of humour is really important too. For starters, it's a great indicator of whether you are going to get on. If the first time you go on a date you don't find each other funny, there's a fundamental problem.

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    I don't think that comedians have a tradition of trashing the next generation.

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    I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

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    I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

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    I don't think comedians take advantage of the fact that television and film are visual mediums.

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    I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.

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    I do what I do because there's nothing else for me to do. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. It is in my soul to spread love and laughter. Even if I wasn't an actress or a comedian, I would be spreading love and laughter [with] whatever I did.

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    If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

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    I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

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    I'd say any good set or any comedy that I've worked on, that's worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, 'What if you say this? What about this?'

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    I feel like Jim Carrey is probably the closest thing to a true physical comedian that we have working today.

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    I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

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    If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.