Best 648 quotes in «comedian quotes» category

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

I was definitely prepared for it to be slower, and it has not worked out that way in any shape or form. I'm grateful as a comedian, and slightly demoralized, occasionally, as a human being - those two things are always very different.

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it.

I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Everything those guys had anything to do with, from I don't know how young. Super young.

I was influenced by a lot of stand-up comedians... Eddie Murphy back when he was doing 'Raw.' I watched that so many times as a kid, I can probably still quote the entire thing to this day. Chris Rock. Dave Chappelle. George Carlin. A lot of the guys who were sort of edgy for their time.

I wasn't expecting to really draw in respected comedians but it's going to happen along the way and I'm truly honored by that.

I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.

I was trained classically, and that's something that I want to do, but I do want to say that right now it's a good market for female comedians, and I want to explore that right now. I really do want to do dramas and meatier roles, especially film.

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.

I would have liked to be a comedian in the '20s, or maybe even a comedian on the Mayflower and have a statue somewhere.

I would like a ship for the hips, please. Ships and hips. Hipsters to stir with their hips on the hip ships. And, of course, hips. Yeah, hip. That's me. I also like sips. I'm a slow drinker. A sipster. I'm a sipster hipster comedian. Yeah, sips. But more hips. Hip, hipster, hip star, hiptard. Definitely.

I would love to do a serious period drama. Oh, absolutely. I mean, you'll find most comedians want to do more serious stuff, most musicians want to be comedians, and most serious actors want to be musicians.

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.

Jason [Sudeikis] is a successful actor and comedian, I don't think that he takes comedic roles any less seriously than he does dramatic roles.

Jesse has opened for me extensively on the road so I’ve seen him do hundreds of sets. He is always super funny, has tons of material and the crowds love him. Bottom line, Jesse Joyce is a great comedian.

Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more comedians kicking it hard the way he does every night

Jews have a tendency to become comedians.

Just from my own experience, a lot of the comedians I used to work with were miserable in their actual lives. I think you need to be able to see a lot of negative in things in order to extract material, so there's probably something to that. A lot of the people I used to work with were very, very, very unfunny offstage, so that's a pretty common thing.

Jewish comedians do the best Jewish jokes, and anyone else doing that, they don't have a right to, because they're not coming from that experience. I know that's a slightly heightened example, but it's the same thing. We're bumpkins, so we can make bumpkin jokes.

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness.

Kidney disease is a low-profile, unglamorous problem, a disease that disproportionately strikes minorities and the poor. Its celebrity spokesman is blue-collar comedian George Lopez, who received a kidney from his wife.

Let's face it, the great comedians now that are handicapped in the looks department are tremendous writers.

Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny.

Magicians are definitely more arrogant. They're kind of like "Abra Kadabra, you're an idiot," they don't let you in on the joke. Comedians, you're always in on the joke unless it's Andy Kaufman.

Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use the spoon. I like to consider myself the big bowl-like area of the spoon that holds all the stuff you like.

Look at what you could have won!

Many comedians - both male and female - do have an "I will never date another comedian" rule.

Michael Ian Black wears many hats. He's a stand-up comedian, a comedic actor, he's now a writer-director so he knew how to work with all of us. And furthermore, because so much of his career is based on improvisation he gave us the freedom to do that as well.

Most comedians I know are quite serious, anxious people who find life rather difficult. As a consequence, they make people laugh.

Most comedians weren't great athletes; that was the way they got noticed in high school.

My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom.

My dad loved comedians, especially George Jessel, and he loved Henny Youngman and Buddy Hackett.

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.

My favorite, favorite, favorite, and the greatest comedian that could ever exist if you could Frankenstein a comedian together, would be one part Richard Pryor, one part Peter Sellers. That would be the greatest comic actor.

My grandfather was running Hillcrest Country Club, and that's where a whole group of Hollywood comedians hung out.

Music takes us where words cannot.

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way.

My interest in magic was kindled by Steve Martin, the comedian I'd gone to high school with.

My personal favorite is Woody Allen, who is just amazing as a comedian.

My preference is live performance. Because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that. You know, musicians need it, comedians definitely need it. It doesn't matter what size and what club, whether it's 30 people in the club or 2,000 in a hall or a theater. It's live, it's symbiotic, you need it.

Nerd. One whose unbridled passion for something defines who they are as a person, without fear of other people's judgment.

My theory about comedians is that their greatest fear is other people laughing at them. So comedy is an attempt to control and manipulate the thing they find most frightening.

Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.