Best 648 quotes in «comedian quotes» category

I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists.

I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as I used to, but I can still be a little comedian every now and then.

I always remember writing a page of jokes for a comedian and handing it to him backstage at a club and he read it and then took his cigarette lighter and lit the page on...

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

I am not so secretly a comedian. I write a lot of my own material if you've seen videos I've done. I write jokes.

I am trying to work out what my taste is, comedy-wise. I look up to stand up comedians who appear to be telling the truth, but I don't mind if they are lying.

I became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

I believe that any type of education can be great, but an education about ourselves can create something wonderful. I am a comedian, but people have called me a motivational speaker. I don't really consider myself that at all.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.

I could be a comedian. I could be a gangster. I could play all of those parts, even for the first time... I'm versatile.

I couldn't tell people what I wanted to do because I was from Atlanta. You don't tell people you're gonna be a comedian in Atlanta. That means you ain't gonna do nothing.

I do make a concscious effort to be genuine among other comedians. If I write something or try something that doesn't feel like me, I stop doing it.

I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.

I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

I'd like to help other comedians and when I get a little older I'd like to open up a nice comedy club that is straight classy, with a straight restaurant and a chef. The whole thing, red carpet, and treating people nice, for people to come back and have a good time. That's the kind of comedy club I want to open up.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

I do films which get me out of my comedian routine so that I don't get bored being a stand-up comedian. And with films, it's here today, gone tomorrow. So stand-up comedy is here to stay for me.

I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes as a special protest. I don't want to hear the introduction 'you may have seen our next comedian on the Hannity show'.

I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.

I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.

I don't have any delusions. I'm not a novelist - I'm a comedian who writes. I love doing the stand-up and the touring and the albums and all that, but it's pretty amazing to go into a library and see your book there.

I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian. I'm not Ed Murrow up on the roof in a London fog reporting on the blitz.

I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

I don't know if people really care about my opinion on things or how I come up with things, and maybe that's an insecurity and why we're comedians in the first place, so I think with that you keep doing the material, you keep trying to be funny cause you think that's all you're wanted for.

I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.

I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.

I don't mind being accused of being a bad comedian and I don't even mind being accused of being a bad talk-show host, but I never want to be accused of being an arrogant, pompous showbiz asshole.

I don't think a comedian should even be concerned with being cool or sexy, as soon as you do, you aren't a comedian any more. Looks are still the most important thing for women when it comes to meeting a partner. And that's fair enough, but a sense of humour is really important too. For starters, it's a great indicator of whether you are going to get on. If the first time you go on a date you don't find each other funny, there's a fundamental problem.

I don't think that comedians have a tradition of trashing the next generation.

I don't necessarily think of it as Southern comedy. I just think I'm a comedian and I have a Southern accent.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I don't think comedians take advantage of the fact that television and film are visual mediums.

I don't want to follow comedians because I don't want to see what they're thinking about, 'cause then maybe I won't stumble across a thought maybe I had about the same subject.

I do what I do because there's nothing else for me to do. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. It is in my soul to spread love and laughter. Even if I wasn't an actress or a comedian, I would be spreading love and laughter [with] whatever I did.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

I'd say any good set or any comedy that I've worked on, that's worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, 'What if you say this? What about this?'

I feel like Jim Carrey is probably the closest thing to a true physical comedian that we have working today.

I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

If Mandela were a comedian, I bet he would never get mad at a heckler, he'd give him or her a hug.