Best 648 quotes in «comedian quotes» category

If you don't laugh, you're going to cry and people are crying. That's why I guess you have lots of people like comedians to keep us laughing.

If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

If you make a bad movie about stand-up, then comedians will mock you for the rest of your life.

If you're a comedian, you are looking for material in daily life.

If you're into comedy, you will know what the show is about. We have so many comedy geeks, comedy enthusiasts, fanatical people who go to comedy festivals and follow comedians, and really treat it like rock 'n' roll - which it can be, but more like the geeky rock 'n' roll.

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

If you know me, I don't live in this dismal world. I mean, I like to have fun. My friends are comedians.

If you want to see what stage comedians did to get laffs a century ago, watch the 1910 'Wizard of Oz.' I hope you have a high tolerance for pratfalls.

I get called all kinds of things - an investigative comedian, a comedian activist - I've lost track of what my job title is.

I guess I considered myself just sort of a sketch comedian, you know? Actual screenwriting hadn't really occurred to me as a viable job - I didn't really know anything about it.

I had to write a comedy set and film a show at the same time. And it's the second time I've been up on stage as a stand-up comedian with untested material. I was saying it out loud for the first time that night. It didn't go how I expected, but in the best possible way.

I hate when comedians use Performed For The Troops as one of there credits before they go up on stage.

I have a funny sense of humor. If I was a comedian and I was up on stage, people would think that's funny, because I'm a funny comedian. I'm an entertainer.

If you watch the arcs of so many comedians, at some point, they just become themselves.

I have a pretty fresh delivery. I feel that I am probably more of a dramatic actor, but I'm also a comedian. Every day I am polishing up my skills.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but its entertaining, and it helps you make quick connections if youre a comedian, if you have a brain that can dance around too much.

I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

I have to make good things so good comedians want to talk to me.

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction.

I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the answer for me. "Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?" I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.

I know that it's probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician. This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw 'The Killing Fields,' and I've got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.

I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got really good at it. That's a big part of why I became a comedian. My audience is filled with every kind of person you can imagine, and I love that.

I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.

I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them.

I love standup comedians. I really do.

I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.

I'm a comedian first. I've learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that's how I've learned. I didn't take classes or anything. I don't need no classroom.

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to plan to be involved.

I'm a comedian so I'm not waiting around for someone to write a part for me. I don't have to wait for somebody else to create my next job; I have the ability to basically write my own ticket.

I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.

I'm a good counter comedian. I can just work it off with looks, or have something crazy to say back. That works for me.

I’m a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you’re stupid.

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.

I'm a stand-up comedian-turned-actor-turned-vampire at night.

I'm a total one-hour drama addict. I think when you're a comedian, you tend towards dramas because that's the less stressful thing to watch.

I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.

I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.

I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.

I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was there. As a comedian, I'm always listening to the audience. And in movies, sometimes the only audience you have is the producer and the director. I like having someone else's opinion, especially if you're on the same wavelength.

I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.

I love comedy. If I could be a comedian - well, I probably would not take that job because it seems really hard, but I wish I could be.

I love comedy. I don't approach it any different. I'm not a comedian. I'm not a stand-up. I just do it like a part and personally, I love to watch comedies. If you don't get to do what you like to watch you get frustrated.

I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet. That's why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.