Best 171 quotes of Matt Groening on MyQuotes

Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.

'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end.

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things.

American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's got the best moustache in American history. Got the moustache, right, and he's got that little thing on his chin, I think it's called an imperial, that is, like, the coolest thing. That's like one of the great icons of the twentieth century.

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?

As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me.

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling "Bart," and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog.

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.

Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked.

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism!

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say.

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Homer no function beer well without.

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

I also found child's play - stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy - was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.

I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books?

I basically drew my own family. My father's name is Homer. My mother's name is Margaret. I have a sister Lisa and another sister Maggie, so I drew all of them. I was going to name the main character Matt, but I didn't think it would go over well in a pitch meeting, so I changed the name to Bart.

I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.

I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.

I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans.

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.

I grew up completely overwhelmed by TV, and part of the reason why I have gone into television is as a way to justify to myself all those wasted hours of watching TV as a kid. I can now look back and say, 'Oh, that was research.'

I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show.

I have less to do with 'The Simpsons' every season, but I stick my nose in here and there. Basically, it's just trying to keep the characters consistent and making sure the show has a soul.

I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air.