Best 64 quotes in «jerk quotes» category

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

It's about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing there like jerks!

Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker.

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

I will never grow thick skin, so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

I've dated jerks, so why not geeks?

Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

Like a jerk, I went to a nutritionist and I ate the most repulsive, awful things. I didn't allow myself to eat chocolate cake and french fries and cheeseburgers.

Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.

Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around.

Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

Tony Bennett said to me, "Wow, your talent is amazing." Maybe he's a bore, maybe he's a jerk, but when he said that to me, I didn't need anything more than that.

There are more great guys than jerks, so it's a huge list.

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated.

Small jerks began to appear in my legs, my walk became unsteady precisely because I wanted it to be smooth.

The biggest Russian problem - not all Russian jerks have moved to the US and UK yet.

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job.

What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit.

What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

For the second time since meeting her, Echo looked as if I’d slapped her. Water pooled at the bottom edges of her eyes, her cheeks flushed red and she blinked rapidly. She’d succeeded in making me feel like a d*ck … again.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

I'm evil, know it, and enjoy it.

Hal—come sit!” Rachel is looking back. She motions toward a sliver of space between Jonah and Madison. “There’s room.” “No. There’s not.” Luke says it without even turning around. “How do you and Hallie know each other, anyway?” “We met in the bathroom. Earlier tonight. She seems cool.” Rachel smiles at Hallelujah. Hallelujah can’t bring herself to smile back. “Sure, if you like the strong, silent type. I don’t. No offense.” Luke laughs, and Brad laughs, and the girls from Knoxville take that as their cue to laugh too. Like it was actually funny. Rachel doesn’t laugh. She’s still smiling, but now it’s like she’s not sure whether she should be. “Come on, Hal,” she says. “We’ll make room.” But Luke’s shaking his head. “Sorry. Guess I’m not being clear. There might be room for someone. But there’s not room for Hallie. Hal. Whatever you wanna call her. Besides. She has to get back. Curfew.” Rachel looks from Luke to Hallelujah, confused. “We’re all breaking curfew.” “Yeah, but it’s Hallie’s fault we have early curfew in the first place. And it’s her fault we have so many chaperones to deal with.” Luke’s counting on his fingers, holding them in the air. “Plus, they’ll probably be checking up on her. So she can’t stay.” “How is all of that her fault?” Rachel asks. “What’d she do?” “Yeah, Luke. What’d she do?” It’s Jonah. Hallelujah is kind of shocked to hear his voice. It’s low, with a dark undercurrent that’s unfamiliar to her. Then again, it’s been months since they talked. And a lot has changed. “If I remember it right,” Jonah goes on, still staring into the fire, “she wasn’t the only one.” Luke looks over at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing,” Jonah says. “Just making an observation.” “An observation,” Luke repeats. “Yeah.” There’s a moment of silence. It’s uncomfortable. Hallelujah feels like the night sounds get louder to compensate. The wind rustling tree branches. The hum of cicadas. Birdcalls. They’re suffocating her. Then Luke shakes his head and laughs. “Whatever. Hallie still has to go.” He swings around to look at her directly. “What are you waiting for?” Hallelujah blinks, wishing that small movement could make her vanish. Everyone in the circle is staring. Waiting for her to leave. Their eyes cut into her. She takes two steps backward, tears clouding her vision. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. She turns and starts walking away. Walking, not running. She doesn’t want to give Luke that satisfaction.

High school will probably be better. I mean, some kids will still be jerks, but it's not so bad if you have at least one good friend. Someone who gets you.

From Jerks to Monks, from Prostitutes to Nuns, everyone is vulnerable to fall in Love.

If you fall in love with jerk, don't you just reject him. He may reveal the jerk part of you which concealed.

I now watch porn, but I don't have the feeling to go to the bath and start to jerk off. It's the world bad idea ever came. I have quite jerk off and I will quit it's not the way I should live, the same is for you!

I wasn’t stupid. I realized that I was preventing her from being around her sister and her parents. Her boyfriend. I was banishing her from everything she knew. From a comfortable future. From money and opportunity. From family Christmases and blue-eyed kids with Dean, who was oh-so-fucking enchanted with her. From love. I was ruining her life. Because. I. Was. Jealous.

The enemy of my enemy may be my friend … of course the friend of my friend is often a jerk.

My father was gone. I went up to his suite, not to see him, but to figure out if he had been gone or left in a hurry. It looked like a tornado had visited so I assume he started packing as soon as he heard I was coming. I spit in his open underwear drawer. I know that’s nuts but I always try to leave a little something for the asshole on my visits.

My eyes meet his eyes. “You were a jerk,” I say. His hands move to my cheeks. “I’m sorry.” I pull away, but I can only go an inch before I bump into lacrosse sticks, not that I really want to go any farther. “Nope. No way. You do not get to kiss me yet.” He pouts.

She struggled against him and then kicked him with her knee, right between his legs. He won’t be treating her like this. Bastard. There was a fury inside her, that made her disliking of guys even bigger. He stumbled back, his hand loosening his trip. His face is twisted in pain, and he was completely out of the breath. Angel felt satisfaction. He deserved that. "How about this, you ignorant asshole! Keep your hands off of me and leave me alone!" she spat at his face. She barely held back, to not kick him again.

You betcha. If I get to punch a manic, lanky jerk in the face, my night will be complete.” I gave her a fierce grin, still riding off the energy of the crowd.

There's a difference between playing it cool and being a jerk.

They'll say you are bad or perhaps you are mad or at least you should stay undercover. Your mind must be bare if you would dare to think you can love more than one lover.

Wait!" he yelled. I didn't turn around, I walked faster. Then I heard him slam his fist on the hood of his car. I almost stopped. Maybe I would have if he'd followed me. But he didn't. He got in his car and he left, just like he said he would.

These days he was like a zombie, all grim business, just another jerk with an erection.

A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall.

all skinny guys with beards are jerks

As soon as you start preaching, nobody wants to hear you because then you're a jerk.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that things are a lot more permeable. It's not so black and white: not every journalist is a jerk.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.

Be respectful to your peers and yourself, of course. Don't be a jerk. But at the same time don't settle for anything less than yourself.

Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies.

Do not tolerate brilliant jerks. The cost to teamwork is too high.

I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.