Best 64 quotes in «jerk quotes» category

I could be a real jerk on the days I was pitching.

Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.

Everybody calls me fat all the time, so I can’t wait to have a reason, instead of everybody just being a jerk! I’ve never been Gisele Bündchen, so ain’t nobody expectin’ that! I like to set a [low] standard so people don’t expect a lot.

I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am.

Do not tolerate brilliant jerks. The cost to teamwork is too high.

If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk.

If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble. And Henry was 95 percent.

I hope I'm an integrous person who cleans up their messes when I've been a jerk.

I felt there's a wealth in Jewish tradition, a great inheritance. I'd be a jerk not to take advantage of it.

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.

I have tons of tunes, maybe 30 tunes that I still think are great, and only because some jerk at a record company didn't think it was great, it's not out there.

I'll get cast occasionally as sort of the jerk version of myself, and I have fun doing that. But it's really better for everyone if I stay behind the camera.

I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.

I'm not afraid to be a jerk or anything and laugh at myself anymore.

I'm not sure I'm okay with 2 guys gettin' married, but I don't wanna be a jerk about it.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks.

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

It's about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing there like jerks!

I've dated jerks, so why not geeks?

I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated.

I will never grow thick skin, so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker.

Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.

Like a jerk, I went to a nutritionist and I ate the most repulsive, awful things. I didn't allow myself to eat chocolate cake and french fries and cheeseburgers.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around.

Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.

Small jerks began to appear in my legs, my walk became unsteady precisely because I wanted it to be smooth.

The biggest Russian problem - not all Russian jerks have moved to the US and UK yet.

There are more great guys than jerks, so it's a huge list.

Tony Bennett said to me, "Wow, your talent is amazing." Maybe he's a bore, maybe he's a jerk, but when he said that to me, I didn't need anything more than that.

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit.

What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

For the second time since meeting her, Echo looked as if I’d slapped her. Water pooled at the bottom edges of her eyes, her cheeks flushed red and she blinked rapidly. She’d succeeded in making me feel like a d*ck … again.

From Jerks to Monks, from Prostitutes to Nuns, everyone is vulnerable to fall in Love.

Hal—come sit!” Rachel is looking back. She motions toward a sliver of space between Jonah and Madison. “There’s room.” “No. There’s not.” Luke says it without even turning around. “How do you and Hallie know each other, anyway?” “We met in the bathroom. Earlier tonight. She seems cool.” Rachel smiles at Hallelujah. Hallelujah can’t bring herself to smile back. “Sure, if you like the strong, silent type. I don’t. No offense.” Luke laughs, and Brad laughs, and the girls from Knoxville take that as their cue to laugh too. Like it was actually funny. Rachel doesn’t laugh. She’s still smiling, but now it’s like she’s not sure whether she should be. “Come on, Hal,” she says. “We’ll make room.” But Luke’s shaking his head. “Sorry. Guess I’m not being clear. There might be room for someone. But there’s not room for Hallie. Hal. Whatever you wanna call her. Besides. She has to get back. Curfew.” Rachel looks from Luke to Hallelujah, confused. “We’re all breaking curfew.” “Yeah, but it’s Hallie’s fault we have early curfew in the first place. And it’s her fault we have so many chaperones to deal with.” Luke’s counting on his fingers, holding them in the air. “Plus, they’ll probably be checking up on her. So she can’t stay.” “How is all of that her fault?” Rachel asks. “What’d she do?” “Yeah, Luke. What’d she do?” It’s Jonah. Hallelujah is kind of shocked to hear his voice. It’s low, with a dark undercurrent that’s unfamiliar to her. Then again, it’s been months since they talked. And a lot has changed. “If I remember it right,” Jonah goes on, still staring into the fire, “she wasn’t the only one.” Luke looks over at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing,” Jonah says. “Just making an observation.” “An observation,” Luke repeats. “Yeah.” There’s a moment of silence. It’s uncomfortable. Hallelujah feels like the night sounds get louder to compensate. The wind rustling tree branches. The hum of cicadas. Birdcalls. They’re suffocating her. Then Luke shakes his head and laughs. “Whatever. Hallie still has to go.” He swings around to look at her directly. “What are you waiting for?” Hallelujah blinks, wishing that small movement could make her vanish. Everyone in the circle is staring. Waiting for her to leave. Their eyes cut into her. She takes two steps backward, tears clouding her vision. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. She turns and starts walking away. Walking, not running. She doesn’t want to give Luke that satisfaction.

High school will probably be better. I mean, some kids will still be jerks, but it's not so bad if you have at least one good friend. Someone who gets you.

If you fall in love with jerk, don't you just reject him. He may reveal the jerk part of you which concealed.

I'm evil, know it, and enjoy it.

I now watch porn, but I don't have the feeling to go to the bath and start to jerk off. It's the world bad idea ever came. I have quite jerk off and I will quit it's not the way I should live, the same is for you!

I wasn’t stupid. I realized that I was preventing her from being around her sister and her parents. Her boyfriend. I was banishing her from everything she knew. From a comfortable future. From money and opportunity. From family Christmases and blue-eyed kids with Dean, who was oh-so-fucking enchanted with her. From love. I was ruining her life. Because. I. Was. Jealous.

My father was gone. I went up to his suite, not to see him, but to figure out if he had been gone or left in a hurry. It looked like a tornado had visited so I assume he started packing as soon as he heard I was coming. I spit in his open underwear drawer. I know that’s nuts but I always try to leave a little something for the asshole on my visits.