Best 64 quotes in «jerk quotes» category

As soon as you start preaching, nobody wants to hear you because then you're a jerk.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that things are a lot more permeable. It's not so black and white: not every journalist is a jerk.

Be respectful to your peers and yourself, of course. Don't be a jerk. But at the same time don't settle for anything less than yourself.

Do not tolerate brilliant jerks. The cost to teamwork is too high.

Dissent is morally neutral. You can correctly call yourself a dissident because you like to kick puppies, but at the end of the day, you're just a jerk who likes to kick puppies.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.

Everybody calls me fat all the time, so I can’t wait to have a reason, instead of everybody just being a jerk! I’ve never been Gisele Bündchen, so ain’t nobody expectin’ that! I like to set a [low] standard so people don’t expect a lot.

I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am.

I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.

I could be a real jerk on the days I was pitching.

I felt there's a wealth in Jewish tradition, a great inheritance. I'd be a jerk not to take advantage of it.

If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble. And Henry was 95 percent.

If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.

If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk.

I have tons of tunes, maybe 30 tunes that I still think are great, and only because some jerk at a record company didn't think it was great, it's not out there.

I'm not sure I'm okay with 2 guys gettin' married, but I don't wanna be a jerk about it.

I hope I'm an integrous person who cleans up their messes when I've been a jerk.

I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else.

I'm not afraid to be a jerk or anything and laugh at myself anymore.

I'll get cast occasionally as sort of the jerk version of myself, and I have fun doing that. But it's really better for everyone if I stay behind the camera.

It's about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing there like jerks!

In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

Small jerks began to appear in my legs, my walk became unsteady precisely because I wanted it to be smooth.

I've dated jerks, so why not geeks?

I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated.

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

I will never grow thick skin, so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me.

Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker.

Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman.

Like a jerk, I went to a nutritionist and I ate the most repulsive, awful things. I didn't allow myself to eat chocolate cake and french fries and cheeseburgers.

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey

Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around.

Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.

The biggest Russian problem - not all Russian jerks have moved to the US and UK yet.

There are more great guys than jerks, so it's a huge list.

When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job.

They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit.

What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?

Tony Bennett said to me, "Wow, your talent is amazing." Maybe he's a bore, maybe he's a jerk, but when he said that to me, I didn't need anything more than that.

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

From Jerks to Monks, from Prostitutes to Nuns, everyone is vulnerable to fall in Love.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

For the second time since meeting her, Echo looked as if I’d slapped her. Water pooled at the bottom edges of her eyes, her cheeks flushed red and she blinked rapidly. She’d succeeded in making me feel like a d*ck … again.

My eyes meet his eyes. “You were a jerk,” I say. His hands move to my cheeks. “I’m sorry.” I pull away, but I can only go an inch before I bump into lacrosse sticks, not that I really want to go any farther. “Nope. No way. You do not get to kiss me yet.” He pouts.

High school will probably be better. I mean, some kids will still be jerks, but it's not so bad if you have at least one good friend. Someone who gets you.

I'm evil, know it, and enjoy it.