Best 2389 quotes in «comedy quotes» category

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

I am convinced that nothing will happen to me, for I know the greatness of the task for which Providence has chosen me.

I am desperate to do a comedy now.

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance.

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

I began my comedy as its only actor and I come to the end as its only spectator.

I become quite inhibited particularly when I do comedy, I won't - there's a whole thing of allowing an audience in and if you - if you cover yourself with a mask of, kind of, severity, which I'm quite good at doing, that's masking fear of course, then people feel shut out.

I believe in the future a new Dante will write a new Divine Comedy.

I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im paying to see a comedy, then I just want to see whos funniest, with everyone treated equally.

I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.

I built my entire career off of teen comedies. I was in 'Bring It On'.

I blame Hollywood for skewing perspectives. Life is just a big romantic comedy to them, and if you meet cute, happily ever-after is a forgone conclusion.

I came to the conclusion that in comedy, everybody gets what they need, whereas in horror, everybody gets what they deserve. I decided that at the end of the day, I was going to give everybody what they needed.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I came to Hollywood originally writing comedy and writing satire.

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

I can juggle. I started juggling as a kid. And when I worked at Disneyland, I knew a juggler there named Christopher Faire, and he taught me how to juggle. I used it in my comedy act for a while.

I can only develop a stand-up show by being on stage. I can't write it. Whenever I see comedy written down, it very rarely makes me laugh.

I can't do comedy that is cutting and vicious. If I knew I'd said something that was going to make someone feel bad, well, that supersedes everything.

I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee.

I can't imagine a successful comedy movie without a successful comedy performance at the heart of it.

I cant imagine getting bored with comedy or thinking comedy is beneath us suddenly.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I could keep trying to do the same kind of comedies. You know how it's going to go, and you can get an audience with it, but then I feel like a hamster on a wheel.

I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.

I certainly love doing comedy and feel most comfortable near it.

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.

I consider my comedy to be dramatic comedy. I always wanted music underscoring the dramatic monologue. It was always drama with comedy, in my head.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

I could see how people get addicted to animation, and I understand why it's so great for comedy. You can do whatever you want and it just happens.

I'd consider myself a flailing comedy writer.

I'd distract myself until finally it was a combination of things. The show was over and I had time on my hands. I had taken time and played and just relaxed.

I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.

I decided to do a comedy. It's a good mind-set to go into work and be happy every day instead of being in a dark place.

I definitely am a huge lover of comedy, and it's only through doing so many comedies that I've realised how much of an influence they've been on me.

I definitely prefer working in comedy over drama, but at the same time, when it comes to comedy, I tend to prefer comedies that have a great sense of truth to them and that come from an honest place.

I developed several comedy phone calls.

I did an Off-Broadway show that was a comedy written by Ann Meara. We were like a family, and we did that show for a year. On Oz, I did feel like the cast members were friends and there was a lot of bonding. That said, there was a lot of testosterone. Once again, it was full of really intense theater actors with this writing that was really intricate and subtle.

I did 10 years of comedies and 10 years of Westerns. I really like to stay away from car chases. I prefer the more intimate film. You have a much more direct association with the emotions.

I did a guest shot on a comedy series where they did 20 to 30 takes of everything. It's just gone by then. The joke is over. It's not funny anymore, and then of course, the editor's the one that has to figure out the timing. I think a lot depends on that.

I didn't come from a wealthy family. I had no money. Maybe it goes back to naivete which is your greatest asset when you're young. If I was starting in comedy today and if it didn't work the first time, I'd probably quit. But I kept at it, kept at it.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

I did theater before I got into TV and everything I did was serious, so it was definitely fun for me to pull out those chops, I definitely wanted to do a movie that just wasn't comedy.

I didn't want to make teenage comedies, and I didn't want to make really trashy films. I wanted to make films that were a bit challenging.

I did sketch comedy, but I never did improv. So I've just tried to learn as I go.

I did try when I wasn't doing the singing to do as much comedy as I could because I thought with Comic Relief you are duty bound to anyway.

I did sketch comedy for years. Ive always enjoyed it.