Best 2389 quotes in «comedy quotes» category

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At the beggining of my career, for me the comedy circuit was a combination of desperation and the fact that it was something I could do. I sort of meandered and really had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I had a go at stand-up, and I was sort of okay at it. I'd say I'm the opposite of someone that has the urge to stand in front of strangers and make them laugh, but the idea of getting up and telling a story and people finding it amusing always appealed to me. So I'd say it was probably more about that than anything.

Avoiding humiliation is the core of tragedy and comedy.

A whole generation was raised to learn about comedy from The Simpsons. To get to be in a booth with Homer and Marge and be in Springfield - it was unimaginable the emotions that I felt.

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.

Awkwardness is where tension is, and tension is where the story is. It's also where the comedy is, which I'm interested in; when it resolves it tends to resolve toward melancholy, a certain resignation, which I find interesting as well.

A wonderful story collection set between one place and another and shaped by a fearless sense of comedy.

Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor.

Beloved King of Comedy.

[Beaches] is a pretty picture and I just liked having somebody like Bette [Mudler] who can be flying in the big comedy scenes and have her do more like a realistic part.

Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes.

Before I got addicted to comedy, I was seriously thinking about playing tennis full time. I joined the tennis team and played with a lot of professionals.

Being a family in general is a comedy of errors.

Being around Lily Tomlin has been great, how she treats people, how she handles herself, how she goes about interpreting her character or deciding how the comedy should work.

Bad women's comedies are made by men who didn't consult enough women.

Ball-tampering. There, I've said it. Things that shouldn't be said: the judge in the Saddam trial appears to be wearing comedy specs and moustache.

Before the whole Disney realm had undergone this huge revamping, as a kid, I always saw myself doing these dramatic indie parts. And then I fell in love with doing comedy and doing kid shows and really working for kids.

Big studio comedies are such a headache.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Big comedy is good, I like things that are big, but good comedy has to be truthful I think and has to reflect some sort of reality.

Both of us have forged our careers in London, but a lot of my comedy influences come from my family and my childhood.

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

'Buried Alive' is a little scary, but also a comedy at the same time.

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death.

Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.

But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over

But if one could go back in time, I'd love to have been directed by Howard Hawks, who's one of my great heroes. One of the greatest directors there ever was. He directed probably one of the greatest westerns of all time in 'Rio Bravo'.

But I just think I was lucky enough to figure out early on that I wanted to do comedy, so that's what I put all my effort into.

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they're part of the same ilk.

But I prefer to go to comedies. Give me Julia Roberts smiling anyday.

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

But it's hard for a chick to do comedy. It's not as open for them.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

But our comedies never endured long without a tragedy.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.

But no, I don't really like romantic comedies, so I don't really care. I never go see 'em.

But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no clothes on, I decided to have a go at stand-up comedy.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like it's about to attack them.

By watching the great, old comedians I picked up a few tricks about how to do physical comedy. And whenever I could learn something, I sort of added that to my repertoire.

Can human beings change? The humor, and the sadness, of remarriage comedies can be said to result from the fact that we have no good answer to that question.

Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!