Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!

Why no s for two deer, but an s for two monkeys? Brother Quang says no one knows. So much for rules! Whoever invented English should be bitten by a snake.

Why he's wearing his costume out and about, trampling people on a monster black horse, I do not know.

Why is it that the Alpha females are crazy?" Meryn shrugged. "She made sense to me." Colton turned to Meryn. "You also set Aiden's car on fire when he ignored you." Amelia looked at Meryn. "Sounds reasonable." Meryn grinned. "I know, right?

Why is it women can never let a man have any fun, they just want to fuss about something.” “They’re practical” Austin said, shaking off some of the water droplets from his hair. “We live in the moment and they think about what’s coming. If they didn’t keep us in check, we’d fuck up the planet”.

Why is this ship so old and shitty?

Why is it that men reduce themselves to one-liners and bad movie quotes whenever they get into a fight?" said Parker. "Is there some kind of script they're supposed to follow when they get to this point? Or does the raging testosterone just shut down their higher brain functions?

Why, Jack-off... You actually have a sense of humor! You should share that playful side more often. Guys really go for it.

Why not?

Why, on to the castle, to kill the royal family, and claim the throne that isn't mine by right!

Why the long face? Something happen?" "Nothing except my grandmother is still dead and my aunt moved to Sacramento and my sister just got out of a mental hospital." "Oh," Huey says. I spread my sack out, ready to load. Huey folds his handkerchief in half then in half again. I need him to check my count before I can go. "Which part of Sacramento," he says, and I shrug.

Why our poet chose to give his 1958 hurricane a little-used Spanish name sometimes given to parrots) instead of Linda or Lois, is not clear.

Why question what Froi of Lumatere was doing here?' he asked.' When you should be questioning what would have happened to Charyn if he hadn't been here. Who else would have saved Gargarin of Abroi from the street lords? … 'Who would have saved Quintana of Charyn from hanging? Who would have rescued her from Tariq of Lascow's compound? Who would have sent her to a safe place to birth the cursebreaker? Blah, blah, blah. I'm bored now,' Finnikin said, looking around.

Why the law of our forefathers are brought to nought, and the written covenants come to none effect-

Why would you come to Italy to see Spanish steps? That's like going to China for Mexican food, isn't it?

Wilbur looked at the list glumly. "Are you sure you need all this stuff?" "Yep." "The ax?" "The ax is critical." "The chalk?" "The chalk is super-critical." "The bungee cords?" "Bungee cords are the single most useful object in the universe, Wilbur. People may say it’s duct tape, but it’s actually bungee cords. All great heroes know this.

Willem had tried to approach the subject through various directions—through stories of friends and acquaintances, some named, some not (he had to assume some of these people were creations, as surely no one person could have such a vast collection of sexually abused friends).

Will everyone stop eating dinosaurs?' she frowned.

Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?

Why was the meeting between the Americans and the Russians so tensed? Because nobody knows what Vladimir Put In Barbara’s Bush! From 'Walk On By II

Why yes, I have discovered the joy of cooking. It's when my husband does it. — MEME

Wie steht eine Frau vor dem Spiegel? Immer in Bewegung. Sie lässt nicht locker, bis sie etwas entdeckt, was nicht perfekt ist. Liebe Frauen, in dem einen Punkt könnt ihr etwas von uns Männern lernen. Wir zerfleischen uns nicht mit Selbstkritik. Wie steht ein Kerl vor dem Spiegel? Frontal, regungslos und kurz. Und nach zwei Sekunden ist er mit sich im Reinen - "passt schon". Mehr will er gar nicht wissen. Natürlich hat ein Mann irgendwann auch einen Bauchansatz. Aber kein Mann ist so doof und dreht sich vor dem Spiegel ins Profil!

Wife murder is perfectly possible - almost natural, let's say!

Why would I draw the short straw?

Why, yes. I am a strange wonder. The most special of snowflakes! Born out of time, forever running to catch up to it!

Wie weise von der Regierung, dass sie den Geschichtsunterricht schon vor fünfzehn Jahren abgeschafft und durch den Zukunftsunterricht ersetzt hat.

Will Cato's alien buddies come en masse and invade Earth? He's not sure but he'll try to keep humanity in the loop.

William awoke one morning to find that ― despite having no memory of it − he'd send a message to the Requisitions Department demanding ten thousand gallons of sleep (73% concentrate, with acetic acid stabilizer). The request had been rejected, but someone from Requisitions sent back a blanket and a pillow.

William: My brother has an appreciation of art, so I imagine the woman he chooses must be beautiful beyond the pale. Once he outgrows his current predilection with painting and accepts his family responsibilities, he'll need a wife who can move throughout society. She must have proper carriage and be a witty conversationalist. She should have excellent bloodlines as well, in the event of offspring. Emma: With the possible exception of a witty conversationalist, I believe you've described all the attributes of a racehorse.

Will I have to use a litter box?" --Emma to Max after he just explained she'll be turning into a puma shifter The Wallflower (Halle Pumas Book 1)

Wind moaned through the canyons like a chorus of zombies. I mentioned this to Blitzen, but he set me straight. 'No, kid,' he said. 'Norse zombies are called draugr. They move silently. You'd never hear them coming.' 'Thanks,' I said. 'That's a huge relief.

William: You'd look better with your hair chopped off. Reggie: You'd look better with your face chopped off.

[Will Turner] "You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement." [Captain Jack Sparrow] "...that's not much incentive for me to fight fair then is it?

Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly

WINE!Because these problems aren’t going to forget THEMSELVES!

Willy, one of the guys at the distillery, comes up with what Oliver and I agree is the best definition of what a 'dram' actually is: 'A measure of whisky that is pleasing to both guest and host.

Will you dance for me? Let your breasts roam for a moment -- I need to see how they dance.' 'Okay.' She danced, and as she danced, she tried to think of the most delicious salads she could imagine -- with artichokes and sundried tomato and blue cheese dressing, and beets, lots of beets.

Will you read this? I think maybe it sucks. Or maybe it's awesome. It's probably awesome. Tell me it's awesome, okay? Unless it sucks." — Nick

Will you treat people who make you miserable, as prison guards, or travel agents?

Will knelt beside me. I wished I could have taken a holo of him at that moment and played it for him the next time he kicked me out of his room. He never would believe he was the same brother who had once tried to knock me out with a pillow.

Will there be cheese?" asked Chisolm.

Will, you look like hell!" I yelled through the glass door. "I can't say how you look," he said. "But if you look like you sound, you look like a jerk. Please help me.

Will you stay in Germany?' 'No. Somewhere different.' 'Like where?' 'Somewhere there was no war. Ireland maybe.

WINE. Because...KIDS!

Will that be all?” I asked the pimply faced teen who ogled my exposed legs as if in heat. My pen tapped impatiently on the notepad while I waited for him to look up. Slowly his dull grey eyes roved over my body and a limp smile drew up his thin, crusted lips making him look more weasel than human. “Yep. That’d be it,” his cheerful, adolescent voice cracked. “Great,” I mumbled, walking back behind the counter.

Will the last person on the planet please turn off the lights?

Willy looks between Randy and me for a few seconds. “Holy candy canes. You two could almost pass for brothers.” I lean against the bar. “Not quite. I'm a couple of inches shorter, and I don't have the muscle your reindeer has.” “It's the long black hair.” He points at Randy. “I have a thing for long black hair. Hot damn, two hotties like you in Santa's Village at the same time? The elves wouldn't get any work done. They'd be too busy staring and jerk-” “Enough, elf,” Randy stops him.

Will you have kids?" "You make such an attractive case for the reproductive plunge. I don't know, Duncan. Childhood is so exhausting." "As a parent?" "I mean as the child. Not sure it's fair to drop somebody else into life without giving them a choice in the matter." "You'll find it's kind of tough to canvass the opinion of sperm." "I prefer asking the eggs—they're more articulate. Anyway, aren't you the guy who's always bemoaning the future of humanity? Saying how the worst jerks always have millions of babies, meaning the world gets worse every generation?" "Exactly why decent people need to have kids.

Will you quit shouting and let me bleed in peace!

Winston points at my face. His eyes are a little unfocused, and he has to blink a few times before saying, “I like you. It’s pretty nice you’re not dead.