Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

How can I die? I'm booked.

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees? And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?

How complicated can ice cream flavors be? How much can you put in there? I mean, when the flavor's something like banana ice cream with caramel, fudge chunks, cheddar goldfish and pennies - you've got to draw a line there.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they're adhesive on one side. Peel off the backing, place it on the bun.

How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

How fatally the entire want of humor cripples the mind.

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.

How often have not the demons called 'Nix,' drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with fearful consequences.

Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.

How young can you die of old age?

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.

Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom.

Humor is a show of both strength and of vulnerability: you are willing to make the first move but you are trusting in the response of your listener.

Humor is one of the elements of genius--admirable as an adjunct; but as soon as it becomes dominant, only a surrogate for genius.

Humor is the shock absorber of life; it helps us take the blows.

Humor requires perspective. Perspective requires focus. Focus requires balance. Balance requires attention to the present moment. In the 'now' one is freed from labels. Success and failure, good luck and bad—they're all constructs of your mind.

Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.

Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin.

Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too.

Humor helps us get through life with a modicum of grace. It offers one of the few benign ways of coping with the absurdity of it all.

Humor implies a sure conception of the beautiful, the majestic and he true, by whose light it surveys and shape s their opposites. It is a humane influence, softening with mirth the ragged inequities of existence, prompting tolerant views of life, bridging over the space which separates the lofty from the lowly, the great from the humble.

Humor is how you change people's opinions, and if you can make someone laugh, they'll listen, even if they hate you.

Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders.

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.

Humor is the contemplation of the finite from the point of view of the infinite.

Humor is the harmony of the heart.

Humor is the mistress of tears.

Humorists always sit at the children's table.

Humor is unavoidable. It might not feel funny in the moment, but more often than not there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Humility is like underwear; essential, but indecent if it shows.

humor bears the closest relation to emotion, either bubbling up as from a deep and happy wellspring, or in an opposite fashion rising like a re-birth of feeling from dead levels after turmoil.

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor can be one of our best survival tools.

Humor, however broad and genial, takes a narrower view than enthusiasm.

Humor is imperative, more important than food. You have a choice when someone dies. You can lie down or get back into life. Do something for someone else.

Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world.

Humor is the ability to see three sides to one coin.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Humor is the mask of wisdom.

Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.

Humor, warm and all-embracing as the sunshine, bathes its objects in a genial and abiding light.