Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Star, pillows don't attack dogs," Sam said. "Or anything else," Turtle added.

Starke, release me or I’ll kick you in the balls.” And that would hurt, given the current rock-hard state of that area.

Start here & go until you die, he said. What's so complicated about that?

Stay alert. Pay attention to your robotic staff. Watch for the following signs in the days and weeks before your robots run amok. Sudden lack of interest in menial labor. Unexplained disappearances. Unwillingness to be shut down. Repetitive stabbing movements. Constant talk of human killing.

Staying relaxed was helping him cope with the drug induced juddering vision that could be best described as being like a Hitchcockian visual effect operated by a hyperactive squirrel that shook the whole universe closer and farther away. If you went with it, it was quite pleasant, as long as you didn't introduce any lateral movement like turning your head or the car. This caused the universe to try and slide away from underneath you. The other side effect was the constant feeling you ought to try to twist your head off, in a good way.

Stevie distinctly felt part of her soul die She hoped it wasn't an important part.

Stealing is wrong Billy

...Stella’s tiny butt stuck in the air as she stretched to reach a weed. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a button-down pink and white checked shirt that was tucked into the elastic waistband of her pants. She reminded Rusty of an elf. “Excuse me, Stella?” “You stop right there if you have trouble on your mind. As you can see, I have plenty of birds, and I’ll knock you out with one of them,” Stella said without looking up. Rusty wanted to say that she’d yank up her own plastic flamingo and work Stella over with it in a heartbeat. Instead, she took a calming breath and said, “I made something you might like to have.” “If it’s a grenade launcher, I’m listening, Achmed.

Steve was normal and friendly but Nicole was singing and dancing to her own songs, and I found that a bit crazy and odd.

Sticking a straw up your butt won't get rid of the constipation.

St. Clair clears his throat. 'My fiancée and I are headed out for a celebratory dessert. I'd ask you all to join us, but I don't want you there.

Stephanie took another puff from her candy cigarette, reached into her purse, brought out the rest of the pack, and said, "Want one of these damned cigarettes?

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts.

Step ahead immediately and do what you have to do before it's too late.

Sticking one's head in the sand is a deep human impulse. Like when you feel some kind of bump or growth on the back of your neck, and your heart jumps, because, Christ, that could be something bad, I should see a doctor right away. But then you don't, because it's too scary, and what if they do find something, and...and besides: maybe it will just go away!

sticks and stones might break your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition.

[Stephanie] "This won't be so bad," I said to her, making an effort at convincing myself. "How about your blanket? We could wrap him up in the blanket. Then we could pick him up without actually touching him." "I suppose that'd be all right," Lula said. "We could give it a try" I spread the blanket on the ground beside Elliot Harp, took a deep breath, hooked my fingers around his belt and rolled him onto the blanket. I jumped back, squeezed my eyes closed tight and exhaled. No matter how much violent death I saw, I would never get used to it. "I'm gonna definitely have the runs," Lula said. "I can feel it coming on." "Forget about the runs and help me with this body!" Lula grabbed hold of the head end of the blanket, and I grabbed hold of the foot end. Harp had full rigor and wouldn't bend, so we put him in the trunk headfirst with his legs sticking out. We carefully closed the lid on Harp's knees and secured the lid with a piece of rope Lula had in her trunk. "Hold on," Lula said, pulling a red flowered scarf from her coat pocket, tying the scarf on Harp's foot like a flag. "Don't want to get a ticket. I hear the police are real picky about having things sticking out of your trunk." Especially dead guys.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I might be a vampire so I don't give a shit. I'll heal

Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.

Stirred with passion, laced with fun, spiked with laughter & served with a smile. On the road. No sugar, no mil. Horn OK Please. Buy my books or maythe wrath of a thousand locusts infest your underpants *Smack!!* :-)

Stocks may come and stocks may go, but food goes on forever.

Still it is true that many same-sex couples want nothing more than to join society as fully integrated socially responsible family-centered taxpaying Little League-coaching nation-serving respectably married citizens. So why not welcome them in Why not recruit them by the vanload to sweep in on heroic wings and save the flagging and battered old institution of matrimony from a bunch of apathetic ne'er-do-well heterosexual deadbeats like me

Stop calling yourself an authoress. You sound like an idiotess.

Stop kicking me! I do not want to pee right now!

Stop,” he murmured, or at least that’s what he meant to say. It came out sounding more like “Yes,” which probably wasn’t the same thing at all.

Stop fretting and eat your Madeira Cake..

Stop," Kincaid said in a calm voice. "Unclench." "Unclench what?" Murphy demanded. "Unclench your ass." "Excuse me?" "You're going to trip the beam. You need another quarter inch. Relax." "I am relaxed," Murphy growled. "Oh," Kincaid said. "Damn, great ass then.

Stop! Ok, seriously, how old are you two? You’re acting like teenagers instead of old ass immortal men!" “Well, yea we are kind of old, but we’ve been around so long, we don’t have anything better to do. Living a long time can really turn you into a cranky bitch. Just wait ‘till you meet my father. We do all we can to enjoy ourselves. But I’m serious when I need to be.”~ Ariadne Phillips and Taznikos Abyssos

Stop smiling as if I’ve been acquainted with you for ages!

Stop the bleeding! Gauze the wound!" And his voice became much softer, "Those are the words... I've yet to write." He died with that exhale. He died in a steaming carmine pool of unwritten stories that incredibly cold night. He always thought his work would take the form of ink, pen and paper, but as the last glow dimmed in his eyes, he realized his most meaningful words were sloppily spilled and patched together using blood, bullet holes and concrete.

Story telling is joke telling.

Straightening, I asked, "What do you believe in?" "Old love songs, best friends, the collected works of J.R.R.Tolkien, crispy pork egg rolls with just the right amount of grease, the Big Boss and eternity." "The Big Boss?" Zachary pointed up, as if to heaven. "Pious,"I teased.

Strange, her horoscope hadn't mentioned to beware of crazy kidnappers or demented desert sheikhs this week.

Strange, how in all those apocalyptic movies, when their society breaks down into lawlessness and anarchy, Canada is always the haven of safety, the place people want to escape to.

Street change, I didn't

Stupid Ape: I had to quantify this with the word “stupid” so as not to offend the ape community. Large of limb, impotent of intellect, he was the kind of guy who lettered in leg-breaking at thug school but flunked the written exam because he didn't know which end of the e-pencil to use.

S tvorbou obehov a chronometráží na linkách nemám nič spoločné a ziapať na mňa je podobné ako hulákať v Tescu na pokladníčku, že zdražel pomarančový džús. Ale ako jediný zamestnanec dopravcu, s ktorým substrát prichádza do styku, som zároveň jediným dostupným hromozvodom. Aj preto vodičov niet a kopa adeptov to zabalí ešte v skúšobnej dobe. Z nejakého dôvodu ľudí nebaví nechať si nadávať kvôli veciam, za ktoré nemôžu.

Stop praying to God to change your marriage or your finances because you might end up seeing that you are the one that need the change not your marriage or finances.

Stop saying drug use makes people lazy. Jimi Hendrix did a lot of drugs, even though he's been dead for forty years, he's still making new records. Suck on that, Partnership for a Drug-Free America!

Stop teasing me, doc. You haven't got the tits for it.

Stop your idiocy, Sandra, please. For once in your death.

Stories can do and be anything they wish. Just like thoughts are sometimes upside down and inside out and sometimes don’t make sense, stories don’t have to make sense, even to themselves. So if something seems catawampus or upside down in these stories, please don’t spend too much time trying to figure it out. Just figure it’s a quirk. After all, people like to eat normal foods, but sometimes they might eat a laugh or a chortle or a snicker or they might wear yellow socks on their heads. You see, people and dogs and other Beings do the most amazing and silly things, just because.

Storming was one of her main modes of transportation." In reference to teenager Heather in "Carry The One

Strive for the 4 hour work week. The rest of the time run like hell.

[Stump speeches] are to oratory what a stump is to a tree.

Suatu bangsa tanpa pahlawan sama dengan kulkas tanpa isi, sepeser pun tiada arti

Subject: Sundown Date: June 14 2011 09:35 To: Christian Grey Dear Completely & Utterly Smitten I love waking up with you, too. But I love being in bed with you and in elevators and on pianos and billiard tables and boats and desks and showers and bathtubs and strange wooden crosses with shackles and four poster beds with red satin sheets and boathouses and childhood bedrooms. Yours Sex Mad and Insatiable xx

...subtitled it 'Everything you Always Wanted to Know About Driving Out to Remote Locations in the Upper Midwest to Find your Childhood Imaginary Friend but Were Afraid to Ask.

Success is like sausage, you'd be surprised what goes into it.

Success starts with a Vision