Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Oh, so now you’re abusing the crippled kid, huh?” Kenji takes a moment to steady himself before punching Adam in the arm. “Save your angst for the battlefield, bro. You’re going to need it.

Oh that looked painful," called another Puck, a little farther down. "We really need to talk about your anger-management problems.

Oh, man," he mumbled with a full mouth. "At least the food is good.

O honorable strumpet

Oh shit.... I think I just lit his fuse.

Oh, storms. That was awful." "No it was funny. You seem to get those two mixed up a lot. Don't worry. I'm here to help.

Oh sure, everyone else charges monsters and it's brave, I do it once and I'm a madman.

Oh, that's right. Missy opens doors.

Oh, the pain. The pain. It always rains. In my soul.

Oh! This is kind if fun. I can be the loyal guy Evan never was, and this will convince Amir to stay here. I will move in with him next year. I will work at Carnegie Library and watch DVDs all day. We will have brown babies because we will use his DNA.

Oh, you're a picky sort, huh?" He laughed. "That takes balls, being choosy at a time like this.

Okay, I'm going. But I want you to know that this thing between us, it's powerful. There's no word to express this new found connection we have, Aria. It's like dividing by zero... you can't define it.

Okay, I should probably mention right here that Brandon used the real word, but this is my story, so I'm cleaning it up a little.

Okay, what are you two doing to my girl? No making her cry. I told her everything would be okay, are you trying to make a liar out of me now?” He is at my side and running his thumbs over my cheeks to check for any lingering tears in a heartbeat. He leans down and kisses my mouth. “What’d they do, darlin’? You know I’d slay any dragon for you.” I smile up at him, overcome by how lucky I feel, how happy I am that he loves me, that I can have this. “They were happy tears, cupcake. Stow your sword and remember I’m no damsel in distress. I can slay dragons all on my own.” “Yes, I know you can.” He says, his deep, rich voice serious. “But you don’t have to, Chloe Jane. Never again.

Oh, there's no use talking to him. He's perfectly idiotic!

Oh, traccy traccy ply ply bracket doints and divs

Oh... wow!” The words were out before she could think better of them. He was a gorgeously-realistic Anime character come to sudden, distracting life... and that face. OMG that face! He caught her eyes onscreen and she stopped breathing.

Oh Yes." She Sighed. "I had one of those rehearsal marriages, you know, where you're a feminist and train a guy, and then some other feminist comes along and gets the guy." "I don't know." Adrienne scowled. "I think there's something wrong with the words feminist and gets the guy being in the same sentence.

Oh, you mean like Orpheo rescuing Euniphon from the Underworld?” said Roland. Rob Anybody just stared. “It’s a myth from Ephebe,” Roland went on. “It’s supposed to be a love story, but it’s really a metaphor for the annual return of summer. There’s a lot of versions of that story.” (...) “A metaphor is a kind o’ lie to help people understand what’s true,” said Billy Bigchin, but this didn’t help much.

Okay, that was, I have to say, about the cheesiest thing I ever heard in my life,” I say to Angela as we’re milling around afterward. We hug, so Billy can take our picture. “I mean, seriously. Just be? You should write ads for Nike.

Oh, well, that's not bad, I suppose. I mean, I'd prefer devastatingly sophisticated - but almost endearing is more than I could have hoped for under the circumstances.

Oh, why had the Labyrinth brought me here? As soon as I thought this, I chided myself: Of course it would bring me where I least wanted to be. Austin had been wrong about the maze. It was still evil, designed to kill. It was just a little subtler about its homicides now.

Okay, go hang up your kitty pictures and pet your car.

Okay, on my first night, he tried to chat me up. You know how the story goes. ‘You have the most beautiful eyes, I’m very rich, want to see my bedroom?’ Blah, blah, blah.” “And because you turned him down, he’s more determined than ever,” Will guessed, with amazing accuracy. “You did turn him down, right?” “Of course,” I told him, insulted by the insinuation I would drop my knickers for a glass of wine. “Do you think I’d risk my job for a quick tumble in the sheets with him?

Okay. What about you, boy?” He nudges Kilorn with his elbow, blind to the boy’s fading smile. “What can you do?” “I catch fish,” he says,

Ok, this farmer is driving down the road in his truck and he comes to a state cop in the middle of the road with the blue flashing and everything, and the farmer asks, What's the problem, Officer? The cop looks worried and nods on ahead where this pig is sitting right in the middle of the road-big damn pig- and the cop says, Got a problem with this pig in the road. So the farmer says, Hmmm. And the cop says, Hey I got an idea, Why don't we load this pig into your truck and then you take him to the zoo? And the farmer says, Well, I reckon we could do that. So they load they pig into the farmer's truck and off the farmer drives and that's that. So the next day the cop is out there on the road again because that is his usual speed trap, and who do you think drives by? The farmer--and sitting right next to him in the cab is the pig. And the pig's wearing a baseball hat! The farmer and the pig just go cruising by. So the cop shakes off the unreality of the whole situation, fires up the blue flashing light and sirens and gets scratch in 3 gears tearing out after the farmer, and caught up pretty soon and pulls the farmer over and walks up to the truck. The farmer looks real casual and says, Yessir. The cop says, Hey, I thought I told you to take that pig to the zoo! And the farmer says, I did! We had a good time, too, so today I thought we'd go to the ball game. HA! HA! HA!

Old age is not just for grown up's

Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either.

Oh, this is not the time for us to get into that meshugenah debate again! Look, the point is that Jesus of Nazareth, who is a very big deal to the Boss, regardless of whatever metaphysically bewildering relationship they may have, has gone missing, on the eve of the single most important event in the history of Creation. The sentence parses, don’t look at me like that. And, through a comical series of events far too elaborate to detail here, you and I are going to be held directly responsible unless we figure out a way to fix this, and I mean yesterday! And I’m not being poetic, we’re angels, we can totally do that.

Oh, well, I know that Libby." He rolls his eyes. "I've never met anyone more committed to, well, life that you are." "Really?" I swallow rather hard. "Even though I keep on screwing my life up?" "Sweetheart, precisely because you keep screwing your life up! I mean look at you. You had the crappiest career eve in the world before you turned everything around and became this shit-hot jewellery designer. You set your head on fire with a cigarette and ended up being utterly adored by the guy who had to put you out... And I do adore you, by the way," he adds, in a nonchalant sort of way, "in case you ever had wondered. Oh, and then there's your love of life. Loads of girls would have just sunk...

Oh, yeah. He's dead, a voice inside her head confirmed. "No way!" Brianna backed away from him, looking around the room in panic. Yeah, you're right. That lack of pulse probably means something else.

Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?

Okay. I’m not a white male. At least, not predominantly so. And as I mentioned before, I’m in an environment right now where race is really important. See, Chinese men are not that physically intimidating. We’re not that tall. We’re not that built. We have exactly one thing going for us in a fight — that our opponent recognizes that there’s a possibility, no matter how remote, that we might know kung-fu.

Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about the baker's wife?" "No," Kyra said. "Rumor has it, she married him for his buns." Fred burst out laughing. Kyra groaned. "Okay, that was just bad.

Okay, the question is, 'What enormously popular novel by William Peter Blatty, set in the posh Washington D.C. suburb of Georgetown, concerned the demonic possesion of a young girl?' '' ''Johnny Cash'', Henry replied. ''Jesus Christ!'' Tricks Postino yelled. ''That's what you say to everythin! Johnny Cash, that's what you say to fuckin everythin!'' ''Johnny Cash is everything,'' Heny replied gravely...

O.K., then, all right, they would adopt a white-trash dog. Ha ha. They could name it Zeke, buy it a little corncob pipe and a straw hat. She imagined the puppy, having crapped on the rug, looking up at her, going, Cain’t hep it. But no. Had she come from a perfect place? Everything was transmutable. She imagined the puppy grown up, entertaining some friends, speaking to them in a British accent: My family of origin was, um, rather not, shall we say, of the most respectable... Ha ha, wow, the mind was amazing, always cranking out these—

Oh! What stupids we were! cried Neb. That is precisely what I had the honor of telling you before! returned the sailor.

Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug?

Okay, don't get mad." She pulled out my stake --- or at least something that looked like my stake,only the hilt of it was now covered in bright blue crystals and diamond-like gems. "You Bedazzled my stake?" "Um ... Surprise," April said, "Just because you're hunting nasty stuff doesn't mean you can't do it in style.

Okay, I think it's time for another distraction" Eight says, disappearing again. He reappears by the outer circle of stones, plants his hands on an upright slab, and pushes hard. All I can do is watch in horror, frozen to the spot. The huge stone wobbles and slowly tips backwards, then the horizontal slab on top falls too, and that's when Eight starts yelling, "Help! Help! The stones are falling over! Stonehenge is falling down!" I will kill him. I clench my fists at my side, which is when I realize I still have a small rock in my hand. I lean down and carefully, pointlessly, return it to its spot.

Okay, okay. I can do this, I can do this just breathe. Mentally I prepared myself but it didn't help with the feeling of jumping off a cliff deep in my belly.

Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!' 'A shot at him? Are you on an elk hunt?

OK. The trick is when you've said something embarrassing by mistake is not to overreact. Instead, keep your chin up and pretend nothing happened.

Old enough to remember the arrival of 'Have a nice day', Patrick could only look with alarm on the hyperinflation of 'Have a great one'. Where would this Weimar of bullying cheerfulness end? 'You have a profound and meaningful day now.

Olivia sat back and propped her half-boots on the table. 'So far it's working. He has to return to me because I have his sister hostage.' She briefly put her fingertips to her lips. 'Did I just say that? I mean I'm protecting the baby sister and earning his trust

O Lord that bear rule, who may know these things, but he that had not his dwelling with men?

Old lovers are like socks. They always show up full of static clean and missing their socks.

Olga was better, in the sun, where he could see every pore in her skin. Get closer. Feel her next to him. It was all he wanted in the world. It was the last thing in the world that he could do.

O Lord that bear rule, even we all are full of impiety. And for our sakes peradventure it is that the floors of the righteous are not filled, because of the sins of them that dwell upon the earth.

On an even subtler dimension, clarity, intuitive knowledge and contentment are primarily determined by chemical and hormonal balances in the body and brain. Most of this is entirely manipulable through fairly simple physical exercises that anyone can do.