Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Everyone thinks to the extent of their own depravity.

Everyone thinks to the extent of their own depravity,” #HenriettaLedyanova , #FatefulItalianPassion .

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.

Everyone wants a piece of you. The trick is what piece to give.

Everyone was staring at them, and for that reason she forced herself to smile and to act as though it was nothing at all to be dragged across the room by a man she'd only just met. When she heard one woman whisper in a loud voice that she and the Marquess made a striking couple, she lost her smile. Yes, she did feel like hitting Lyon, but it was certainly uncomplimentary of the woman to make such a remark.

...everyone would wonder, 'What's he doing with her?' And then you'd say, 'Hmm, good question,' and you'd dump me. That wouldn't be nice.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

Every rule has an exception, and it's usually remedial

Every single living thing is food to at least one living thing.

Every single good person is a good person for their own sake, not for the sake of humanity, not even for the sake of another human being.

Every subject is much easier than the people who wish to make money teaching it would have you know. So, for every single subject that can be systematized, there is a systematization that allows you to get 80% percent of the power with probably 5 or 10% of the effort. So the key question is that you have to prove that you have the superpower to rearrange the subject, to disintermediate the people who get paid for teaching it – which will always push you towards mastery, which is a question of getting the last 2 or 3% out of the system. And so the good news is that you can rearrange any subject to learn most of it very, very quickly. The bad news is that it will feel terrible because you will be told that you are doing the wrong thing and dooming yourself to a life of mediocrity as a jack of many trades, master of none – but in fact, the problem is that the jack of one trade is the connector of none. Good luck!

Everything around us is made up of matter so small, its mass cannot be written down. You're either an atom, or a cell. These things are super small, but they join and function together to create something powerful. It reminds me of love; its always the small things that are done that makes a person feel like they're made of something.

Everything and all of them were being rattled around like peas inside an enormous rattle that was being rattled by a mad giant who refused to stop.

Everything in Australia is trying to kill you, haven't you heard? Half of the ten deadliest snakes in the world live in Queensland. And then there are the poisonous spiders and the jellyfish. Not to mention the crocs and the great white sharks. Another point in favor of New Zealand. Very benign place, En Zed.

Everything had been going so well, he'd had it really under his thumb these few centuries. That's how it goes, you think you're on top of the world, and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is possible in America, except the production of intelligence.

Everything is a drive-thru. You just have to aim really fast

Everything's temporary...until it's not.

Everything seemed possible back then. As the physical changes of adolescence took hold, I resolved to install a few changes of my own, fashion this clay into something sensational. And I had a whole stack of manuals to help me do it--such is the magic when books and naïvety collide. As far as I was concerned, if it was shelved in the nonfiction section, it was true. And it staggered me that this earth-shattering knowledge was gathering dust on a library shelf. Why did people read anything else? Didn't they realize that humans only use 10 percent of their brains? Hadn't they hard of the kid in Russia who could move salt shakers with his mind alone?

Everything was fine, would continue to be fine, would eventually get even better as long as the supermarket did not slip.

Everything you do with thoughts in mind is masturbation, the real thing is somewhere else.

Everything you do wih thoughts in mind is masturbation, the real thing is somewhere else.

Every time I write a personal check, I feel like I've gone back in time. What year is it? Who's president? Do I even have the right to vote?

Every time I so much as blink you get an erection.

Every time I hear about somebody who wins a never-work-again sum in the lottery but keeps his or her day job I think, not a book person.

Every time you die, it hurts.

Evil” read backwards is “live.” Demon est deus inversus.

Evidence is of no longer consequence when hope enters the fray, and this is where faith is born—a seemingly abundant commodity certain powerful organizations feed on fervently, if not lavishly.

Evil is real but God is greater.

...every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard comment).

EWI: Emailing While Intoxicated

-Exagerado - acuso com um sorriso. -Não, amor - nega. - Apaixonado.

Excercise is nothing more than a depressing reminder that one is not a god.

Excuse me, but where do you think you’re going?” I asked. “I figured I’d put my underwear in with yours. That way they could all get to know each other.” One brown eyebrow lifted. “Unless you want to make some formal introductions right now?

Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.

Exiting the building, we shield our eyes with our hands and raise our voices. The wind has really picked up and is sending dirt, dust and debris airborne. A few windblown pedestrians, struggling to walk down the sidewalk, appear as though they might get blown away. I ask Tiger where he wants to go. "ANYWHERE…I DON'T CARE. AS LONG AS IT'S NOT FAR." "LET'S GRAB A CAB. WE CAN'T WALK IN THIS." As I open the backdoor of a Yellow Cab parked at the curb, the cabbie turns and gives me a mean look. "Are you the Floro's?" he asked. Tiger follows me into the backseat, as I answer- That we are. Tiger asked, "And you are?" The cabbie grunts- "ALEXANDER the fuck'n GREAT.

Expand. Why stick to just killing zombies? Or killing them just one way.

Expect stupid. It's everywhere.

Explosives, explosives. Feels like all we ever do is blow things up. Not very Evagardian." "Or extremely Evagardian, depending on your perspective," Deilani said.

Facebook is big. Bigger than Justin Bieber or Ashton Kutcher's Twitter following. Hell, it's even bigger than obesity and possibly just as lethal!

Fadwick Gorrim, at your service, OLD BOY!” he shouted at his face. “Can it be you, Pyrus? It’s been so long, Py!” Pyrus looked at the ground and shifted his eyes about the courtyard, avoiding his stare.

Fackelmann claimed to have started a Log just to keep track of Kite's attempted pickup lines -- surefire lines like e.g. 'You're the second most beautiful woman I've ever seen, the first most beautiful woman I've ever seem being former Bristish Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher,' and 'If you came home with me I'm unusually confident that I could achieve an erection,' and said that if Kite wasn't still cherry at twenty-three and a half it was proof of some kind of divine-type grace.

Fafhrd stopped, again wiped right hand on robe, and held it out. "Name's Fafhrd. Ef ay ef aitch ar dee." Again the Mouser shook it. "Gray Mouser," he said a touch defiantly, as if challenging anyone to laugh at the sobriquet. "Excuse me, but how exactly do you pronounce that? Faf-hrud?" "Just Faf-erd.

Extroverts communicate well with others, Introverts communicate well with themselves

Eyes on hers, he flicked her shoulder. Her mouth fell open. She started stomping the floor. "What in God's name are you doing?" he demanded. "Trying to kill the giant tarantula, because the only reason I can figure you just fucking flicked me is because there was a big, fat spider on my shoulder.

Eyes narrowed, Judd stared at the structure as if at a mortal enemy. Slapping his fellow lieutenant on the shoulder, Riaz said, "Don't even think about it." A pissed-off telekinetic versus the complex metal pylons and tubes of the jungle gym- the results would not be pretty. Judd glanced at his watch. "I'll destroy it later.

Facebook has been spreading across the continents faster than a highly contagious Asian bird flu!

Failure is just success rounded down, my friend!

Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.