Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

People who believed in God today will doubt him tomorrow and those who doubted him today will believe in him tomorrow because believing in someone else doesn't work. Believe in yourself.

People who do not eat butterflies will wear their clothes the wrong way, and people who wear their clothes the wrong way are inviting lemmings inside." -- Muzhduk the Ugli the Third

People were meant to be loved, Things were meant to be used, the world is in trouble for many use people, and love things. Let get it right folks.

People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.

... People who are the spices of this world are the natural souls with instincts and impulses that have not been pruned by evolution and civilization.

People who do not understand pigeons―and pigeons can be understood only when you understand that there is nothing to understand about them―should not go around describing pigeons or the effect of pigeons.

people who do not get the joke are dangerous people indeed

People who don't get excited about receiving gifts are tired of life.

People who leave their drugs in a bathroom the guests use are just asking for trouble.

People who wear G-strings suffer from indecision.

People who live in brick houses shouldn't throw wrecking balls

People would see me on the street, shoving fistfuls of Teddy Grahams into my mouth on the way to the podiatrist, and they would think, "Boy, that lady sure does have her life together.

People will say,"there's heaven and hell", and they take it so serious that they look so sorrowful with penitence. I would rather ask them to show me the route that leads to heaven or hell.

People with disabilities are sometimes very humble and approachable, if you want a seasoned reputation, then behave like one of the handicaps.

People will tell you there's peace in solitude. These people haven't been alone for very long.

Pepperleigh always read the foreign news -- the news of things that he couldn't alter -- as a form of wild and stimulating torment.

Percy!’ Annabeth scolded. ‘You just opened another Monster Doughnut shop somewhere!

Perdida ya toda esperanza de alcanzar una vida mejor en este mundo, la gente fue depositando cada vez más sus esperanzas en la vida del más allá, y la idea de obtener recompensas en el cielo la ayudó a soportar la falta de pimienta en esta tierra.

Peppermint Whiskey? Hell, reindeer, keep up this niceness and I may have to take ya back home with us.” I lean close to him and whisper loudly, “You've already got a reindeer. You couldn't handle two of us.” He pours himself a shot before responding. “Ha! You obviously didn't know my rep in the North Pole before Randy or you'd never make such a ludicrous statement.

Percy's thoughts: I don't recommend shadow travel if your scared of: A) The dark B) Cold shivers up your spine C) Strange noises D) Going so fast you feel like your is peeling off In other words I thought it was awesome

Perfect! You guys are the same age. I bet you have a lot in common.” Classic adult logic. Reid and I are vaguely the same age, so of course we’re basically soul mates. It’s like horoscopes. Somehow I’m supposed to believe that I’m similar in some meaningful way to every single person born on my birthday. Or every single Sagittarius. I mean, I barely have anything in common with Cassie, and we were born six minutes apart.

Percy, you are dismissed from my service." "Me? Why, my lord?" "Why? Because, Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot. You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly, and the part of you that can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be. If you put on a floppy hat and a funny codpiece, you might just get by as a fool, but since you wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you a haircut, I doubt it. That's why you're dismissed." "Oh, I see." "And as for you, Baldrick..." "Yes." "You're out, too.

Perdonerete, ma è piuttosto difficile parlare del proprio amico e di otto tentacoli che vi aggrediscono e si infilano sotto gli abiti, insinuandosi in posti che un gentiluomo non dovrebbe nominare.

(...) perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren't also dangerous, just because reading them didn't make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader's brain.

Percy: Dad- Poseidon: Very well! It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works. Percy: I'm praying, I'm talking to you, right? Poseidon: Oh...yes. Good point.

Percy says be talked to a Nereid in Charleston Harbor!” “Good for him!” Leo yelled back. “The Nereid said we should seek help from Chiron’s brothers.” “What does that mean? The Party Ponies?” Leo had never met Chiron’s crazy centaur relatives, but he’d heard rumors of Nerf sword-fights, root beer-chugging contests, and Super Soakers filled with pressurized whipped cream. “Not sure,” Annabeth said. “But I’ve got coordinates. Can you input latitude and longitude in this thing?” “I can input star charts and order you a smoothie, if you want. Of course I can do latitude and longitude!

Perché piangono gli uomini? Per colpa delle lotte e delle gesta e della maratona delle promozioni, perché vogliono la mamma, perché restano ciechi anche col passar del tempo, per colpa di tutte le erezioni che debbono inventarsi sul più bello dal nulla, per colpa di tutto ciò che hanno fatto. Perché non possono più essere felici o tristi – solo sbronzi o pazzi. E perché non sanno che pesci pigliare quando sono svegli. E poi c'è l'informazione, che arriva di notte.

Percy: Put your cap back on... get out! Annabeth: What? No! I'm not leaving you. Percy: I've got a plan. I'll distract them. You can use the metal spider... maybe it'll lead you back to Hephaestus. You have to tell him what's going on. Annabeth: But you'll be killed! Percy: I'll be fine. Besides, we've got no choice. Annabeth glared at me like she was going to punch me, and then she did something that surprised me even more she kissed me. Annabeth Be careful, Seaweed Brain. Percy: she put on her hat and vanished.

Percy: You just hit the lord of the titans with a blue plastic hairbrush.

Perfect sanity is a myth propagated by straitjacket salesmen.

Perfect time to worry about important things like how stupid was Cinderella to leave a shoe behind. Who the fuck does that?

Perhaps it is a good thing that we don't live long enough to realize how redundant things seem :)

Perhaps one day even I will be famous. Perhaps more famous than you.” “I doubt it.

Perhaps the best thing for the princess would have been to fall in love. But how a princess who had no gravity could fall into anything is a difficulty–perhaps the difficulty.

Perhaps her giant bright-eyed sister had finally come to put her out of her misery just when things had gotten interesting.

Perhaps I am like you. I love the byways, the tiny adventures, the faces that smile for an instant and are gone, a little boy with his face between the railings of a fence, watching the shoes go by. What is he thinking about? The people and their joys and sorrows? No way, he is seeing the shoes, shoes that tramp, limp, scuffle along, and perhaps his greatest concern is the tiny bug they might step on. It is probably the true meaning of compassionate, wondering about people's passions, thier feelings. Passion, one of the loveliest words in the language, one of the most misunderstood. One can have a love for so many things, but novelists sometimes overwork the word. Perhaps one can have a passionate belief, but not a passionate love for a car or asparagus. Passion is private, gentle, consuming, understanding and personal. It expresses so many things but does not belong to lipstick. It is in nature, pictures, people, always people. I suppose compassion begins when you watch the shoes and worry about the bug.

Perhaps the single most important lesson from research on laughing is that laughter is predominantly a social response. Robert Provine estimates that people are thirty times more likely to laugh in the presence of another person than when they are alone. Field studies have established that most laughter is not in response to humor. Social inferiors laugh more in the presence of their social superiors. Social inferiors are also more likely to laugh at the instigation of social superiors than vice versa. For those of us who love to laugh, the scientific research on laughter seems depressing: the principal function of laughter seems to be to dissipate social fears.

Perhaps what Finneas needs, King Rowan, is an occupation. I believe there to be a village nearby in sore need of an idiot. Finn seems well suited to the task.' Rowan had just taken a hearty sip of wine when Gareth's words caused him to swallow the wrong way. Glenna gave him a healthy tap on the back. 'What's an idiot, Mama?' Stefan seemed excited by the prospect of Finn's employment. 'If Finn's to be an idiot, may I be an idiot, too?

perhaps you three could continue this conversation when the ship is not under attack? Mr.Kadam said.

Perhaps the most irrational fashion act of all was the male habit for 150 years of wearing wigs. Samuel Pepys, as with so many things, was in the vanguard, noting with some apprehension the purchase of a wig in 1663 when wigs were not yet common. It was such a novelty that he feared people would laugh at him in church; he was greatly relieved, and a little proud, to find that they did not. He also worried, not unreasonably, that the hair of wigs might come from plague victims. Perhaps nothing says more about the power of fashion than that Pepys continued wearing wigs even while wondering if they might kill him.

Perhaps you should try wearing, well, a bit more clothing?” “Oh, I couldn’t do that. You’ve got to wear all this leather stuff.” “I wouldn’t call it all,” said Rincewind. “There’s not enough of it to call it all. Why have you got to wear it?” “So people know I’m a barbarian hero, of course.” Rincewind leaned his back against the fetid walls of the snake pit and stared at the boy. He looked at two eyes like boiled grapes, a shock of ginger hair, and a face that was a battleground between its native freckles and the dreadful invading forces of acne. Rincewind rather enjoyed times like this. They convinced him that he wasn’t mad because, if he was mad, that left no word at all to describe some of the people he met. Barbarian hero,” he murmured. “It’s all right, isn’t it? All this leather stuff was very expensive.” “Yes, but, look—what’s your name, lad?” “Nijel—” “You see, Nijel—” “Nijel the Destroyer,” Nijel added. “You see, Nijel—” “—the Destroyer—” “All right, the Destroyer—” said Rincewind desperately.

Pero ipinapangako ko, alam mo, pag naabutan kita, hindi na kita pakakawalan. Yayakapin kita, hahalikan sa buong katawan, pagsasawain ko talaga ang mga labi ko. Tapos ikukulong kita sa aking matagal ding naghihintay na mga palad. Nanamnamin ng bawat daliri ko ang bawat balahibo mo. Hahaplusin kita nang hahaplusin. Pagkatapos, dahan-dahan kong pipilipitin ang leeg mo. Pipilipitin ko ito nang pipilipitin hanggang sa mapugtuan ka ng hininga. Buong poot kong isisiwalat sa mundo: hayop kang kuneho ka. Hayop.

Perhaps the most hillarious yet true advice I ever gave on marriage is this one. Don't marry because of Love, marry because of food Love fades, beauty wanes but hungry doesn't

Perhaps when I was a child. Then my brain fully developed and I started thinking about the logic. The Christian life is no life for this man. I have a potent predilection for the whiskey, weed and women. I like to defile all three of them, sometimes simultaneously. But yeah, it isn’t the fairytale within the bible that makes me such an infidel, I just couldn’t suffer waking up early on Sundays to praise a magical being that lacks significant proof.

Perhaps there isn’t anything Alec is afraid of.” Magnus glanced at Alec and raised his eyebrows. “Boo,” he said. Jace was grinning. “Come on, surely you’ve got a phobia or two. What scares you?” Alec thought for a moment. “Spiders,” he said. Clary turned to Luke. “Have you got a spider anywhere?” Luke looked exasperated. “Why would I have a spider? Do I look like someone who would collect them?” “No offense,” Jace said, “But you kind of do.” “You know”---Alec’s tone was sour---”Maybe this was a stupid experiment.” “What about the dark?” Clary suggested. “We could lock you in the basement.” “I’m a demon hunter,” Alec said, with exaggerated patience. “Clearly, I am not afraid of the dark.

Perhaps they are singing songs to you,' he said, 'and I just think they’re asking me questions.' He paused again. Sometimes he would pause for days, just to see what it was like.

Pericles, act 2, sc. 1, l. 1-3. Seeing the storm that has shipwrecked him as marking the anger of the heavens! "Yet cease your ire, you angry stars of heaven! Wind, rain, and thunder, remember earthly man Is but a substance that must yield to you." -William Shakespeare

Personally, I think the "Potter" books have too many adverbs and not enough sex.

Persons of quality had devoted yester evening and much of the night to liquidating their holdings in the South Sea Company and gathering in clubs and coffeehouses to misinform one another.

Personally, I don't think that having a water goddess for an ancestress is a guarantee of freedom against seasickness, nor come to that, shipwreck.