Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Those were great big angry men with sharp swords actually wanting to cut pieces off me. It’s not until you’ve seen a red gaping wound and all the complex little bits inside a man all broken up and sliced open, and known that they weren’t ever getting back together again, and vomited your last two meals over the rocks . . . it’s not until then that you understand the business of swords properly and, if you’re a sensible man you vow to have nothing to do with it ever again.

Those who cannot win trophies and medals, they create status symbols for themselves.

Those who cannot dance, should not dance.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to compute it.

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school

Those who have assets must withdraw them from the markets of loans. Do not accept notes of loan on speculation. The time will soon come when you will gain no profits from the market of loans, and your wealth will be taken by the very few.

Those who live by the sword kill those who don’t.” – Dread Emperor Vile the First

Those with all the answers have not asked enough questions.

Those who say that I am being punished are saying that god can't think of anything more vengeful than cancer for a heavy smoker.

Though breastfeeding is supposed to the most natural thing ever, it seems like a rich-people sport for all the stuff we buy to help.

Though I exist in the realms of day and night, I'm only truly alive in the moments between.

Thou art sore troubled in mind for the people in the world’s sake: loves thou that people better than he that made them?

Though dead is promised to me, when will I slumber, deep? Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? Are not his days also like the days of an hireling? As a servant earnestly desires the shadow, and as an hireling looks for the reward of his work: So am I made to possess months of vanity, and wearisome nights are appointed to me.

Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.

Though I am a well rounded individual, I can be as sharp as a square.

Though I should have known better, I had to ask. "What is furniture disease?" She looked at me like I had the IQ of a grape. "It's when your chest falls into your drawers. Get ready for it, honey, because with that rack of yours, you'll be using them as knee pads before you know it.

Thought of blowing your brains out?" William blinked, startled. "No." "That's good. Anything else is bound to be an improvement, isn't it?

Though there was nowhere one so busy as he/ He was less busy than he seemed to be.

Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life.

Thou hast given a right judgment, but why judge thou not thyself also?

Three-hour layover in Seattle. If you were flying Alaska Airlines and you wanted to go to hell you had to fly through Seattle to get there.

Threats are useless unless you have previously committed the level of violence your [sic] are threatening to use. Make examples of the enemies you cannot control so those that you can will be cowed. This is the foundation of ruling.” – Extract from the personal memoirs of Dread Emperor Terribilis II

Thou mutters, Miss Putnam. Speak up.” Like she couldn’t hear. She’d hear Chess if Chess ran to the other end of the room, covered her mouth with her hands, and whispered “Fuck you,” but she couldn’t hear Chess standing four feet away from her.

Three eternities passed before she ran a hand under her red nose and nodded. "Fine. I'll go." Alex's lungs expanded as he let the air back in. "But the first woman who makes a crack about my hair--" "I'll punch her lights out." Alex pulled her to her feet. "You're supposed to love me, so it needs to be more severe than that." "I'll yank out her heart with ice tongs." "Aw." Lucy patted his chest. "You would do that for me?" He captured her hand, felt its warmth all the way through his shirt. "No amount of carnage is too much for my girl.

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.' Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.' I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.

Three lights should be fine." - Zachary "Aye, well if it wis me, I'd want a bloody lighthoose beacon comin' oot o' my arse." - True MacDonald

Through comedy, we can touch core societal beliefs and transform them completely. I believe we can get to the truth of some deep societal ideologies, and begin to transform them into a new understanding. Far too many promote hateful ideologies, and we must do much more to bring our cultures together, in love and peace.

Threat Level Fuchsia. Fuchsia!

Throughout the ages, the wisdom has been taught. Now the language has changed, and truth is given in the language of science.

Throughout my training we always had a mantra; They come first. If I had really and truly screwed up my future, I'd have a new mantra; A comes first. The B, C, D...

Through the power of physics

Throughout my training we always had a mantra; They come first. If I had really and truly screwed up my future, I'd have a new mantra; A comes first. Then B, C, D...

Throughout the course of the day, Bobby Tom's irritation over his artificially oiled and dirt-smeared chest and his unzipped jeans had flared into righteous indignation. They were treating him like a sex object! It was damned demeaning, that's what it was, being reduced to a set of oil pecs and a tight ass. Shit. A dozen years in the NFL, and this was what it had all come down to. Pecs and ass.

Through the realization of the potentials and possibilities within and outside of you, one connects imagination with reality. What could be becomes so.

Through the realization of the potentials and possibilities within and outside of you, one connects imagination with reality. What could be becomes so. You transform what exists, causing not only its evolution, but determining to a large part the course of its evolution. It’s a kind of alchemy in that what you create has not existed before, you give birth to other potentials and possibilities, which continues and expands the program. Perhaps more importantly, the very core of existence is touched and celebrated, that being creation itself.

Thus, hanging around in our towels (and those weird disposable underpants) was no big deal.

Thus, those with long and glittering careers (e.g. me) tend to look down on those (e.g. Ascobol) whose names have been unearthed more recently, and haven't amassed so many fine achievements.

Tied up a lot of women, have you?" He raised one eyebrow, whatever that meant. "A bit odd, are you?" She was being sarcastic, trying to taunt him into a sense of guilt. While perhaps bursting any bubble in herself of misguided, soft-hearted concern for a man with sad eyes and complicated wealth. Though his sexual inclinations were perhaps not the wisest of barbs to do either. He looked down at her, speculative. "Difficult to say." He actually answered the question seriously. "Legally? Decidedly. But then British laws on the subject are so guilt-ridden I'm surprised we've propagated as a race." He mad a small, grim smile. "How delightful we're having this conversation. And what is it you like?

Till death do us part takes on a whole new meaning with you and Walker. Who's dead isn't specified.

Thy heart had gone too far in this world, and think thou to comprehend the way of the most High?

Tiger resists. "WAIT. We're ALL friends HERE. What is it you wanna talk about? SEX? The new DILDO my mom bought me? Or the HAIR on my sister's ASS-

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist !

Tiddlywinks, tiddlywinks, I want to play tiddlywinks," chanted Ramona, shaking her head back and forth.

Tiffany got up early and lit the fires. When her mother came down, she was scrubbing the kitchen floor, very hard. “Er…aren’t you supposed to do that sort of thing by magic, dear?” said her mother, who’d never really got the hang of what witchcraft was all about. “No, Mum, I’m supposed not to,” said Tiffany, still scrubbing. “But can’t you just wave your hand and make all the dirt fly away, then?” “The trouble is getting the magic to understand what dirt is,” said Tiffany, scrubbing hard at a stain. “I heard of a witch over in Escrow who got it wrong and ended up losing the entire floor and her sandals and nearly a toe.” Mrs. Aching backed away. “I thought you just had to wave your hands about,” she mumbled nervously. “That works,” said Tiffany, “but only if you wave them about on the floor with a scrubbing brush.

Time changes nothing, girl, but the size of your underwear. . .and hopefully your hairdo.

Tiffany learned that Lin had stolen Tiffany’s book title idea: “2 girls 1 cup.” A month ago, Tiffany had confided to Lin about Tiffany’s research showing that there was nothing on Amazon with the title “2 girls 1 cup,” and Tiff intended to be the first one to use that title for her upcoming book. Lin had betrayed her. Now, Lin’s book was available online and it was on the bestsellers list. Tiffany’s first go-to move for revenge against any of her female friends was to go sleep with her BFF’s boyfriend. That was “Dr. Bob” as Lin called him affectionately (he was Lin’s drug source).

Time isn't an orderly stream. Time isn't a placid lake recording each of our ripples. Time is viscous. Time is a massive flow. It is a self-healing substance, which is to say, almost everything will be lost. We're too slight, to inconsequntial, despite all of our thrashing and swimming and waving our arms about. Time is an ocean of inertia, drowning out the small vibrations, absorbing the slosh and churn, the foam and wash, and we're up here, flapping and slapping and just generally spazzing out, and sure, there's a little splashing on the surface, but that doesn't even register in the depths, in the powerful undercurrents miles below us, taking us wherever they are taking us.

Time doesn't go. Time stays. We go.

Time flies when you grow fangs and fur.

# Timeless Typecast The most Two Typical things people cant have enough of it forever , A Soul Lifting Story & A truly Mind Mending Coffee.