Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

We're authors. We're more than a little unstable.

We're a couple of travelers!" I called up to her. "I'm Briony, and this is Ella!" "Grammy said I ought not to talk to strangers!" she called back. "We're not strangers!" Ella shouted. "We're with the union!" I cut her a look and mouthed, Union?, which was silly with this other girl out of earshot. Ella shrugged. There was a pause before the girl called somewhat timidly given we were shouting, "What union?" "We represent the Coalition of Self-Rescuing Princesses," Ella replied. "But I'm not a princess!" "That's fine!" I called, sighing as I prepared to lay on the charm with this ridiculous foible. "We of the Coalition of Self-Rescuing Princesses do not discriminate based on social caste, for we believe that every damsel in distress has the heart of a princess!" "Are you feeling subjugated?" Ella continued. "Yearning to be free, wondering when your prince will come and what's taking him so damn long?

We're all guilty of saying insincere things at one point or another, if only just to make the moment not totally suck as much as it truly does.

We're in and out in five minutes tops," I reminded everyone. "Just like the studio. Five minutes of rock and roll. Ax? You keep us honest, okay?" "Of course. But I was not aware that we would be involved in perpetrating a deception.

We're leaving," I told her one July afternoon. "We? You and I? Where are we going, young Master Paul? Do you have your belongings tied up in a red-spotted handkerchief on a stick?

We're not dealing with Isaac Newton here. She likes what she calls 'romance.' To her that means candles, rose petals, and a bathtub. I don't understand what this thing is that women have about candles. All I can say is that there must've been a hell of a lot of sex in the eighteenth century.

We're not here for a long time. We're here for a good time.

We’re gonna do like Posh and Becks and call it after the place it was conceived.” “Where’s that?” I asked. “King of Prussia.

We're good at hiding things. Really good. People, objects, memories, grey hair, overdue library books - you name it, we conceal it.

We're kinda a big deal

We're not cannibals,' he said as if to remind them. 'Cannibals boil people alive in cauldrons. I prefer to think of ourselves as evolved eaters. As a family, we're at the forefront of fine dining. Human flesh is an acquired taste, and I've worked hard to give you all the chance to appreciate it for yourselves.

We're better than Galileo. Because he's dead.

We’re good to move.” “Cool.” Kolya’s smile was every bit as tight-lipped as Riley’s, but it was real. “Tell us when you need help.” “And tell us before your chest explodes,” Andrej muttered, “so we can shoot the alien babies when they pop out.” Riley made a rude gesture. “McClane says, go fuck yourself.” Kolya chuckled. “Let’s keep him.

We're not... we haven't been writing poetry and sprinkling rose petals and tripping hand in hand under rainbows, Kay.' 'Just because you have Y chromosomes doesn't mean you can't tell each other how you feel, Dylan. Your penises won't fall off if you do.

We're needed to save an innocent barrel of wine from a lecherous duke's son.

We're going to investigate," Fireheart meowed. "We can't decide how to get rid of these dogs until we know exactly what we have to face. We're not going to attack them, not yet-have you got that, Cloudtail?" Cloudtail's blue eyes burned into his, and he did not reply. "I won't take you, Cloudtail, unless you promise to do as you're told without question." "Oh, all right." The tip of Cloudtail's tail flicked irritably. "I want every last dog turned into crowfood, but I'll do it you're way, Fireheart." "Good." Fireheart's gaze swept over the rest of the patrol. "Any questions?" "What if we come across Tigerstar?" asked Sandstorm. "A cat from another Clan on our territory?" Fireheart bared his teeth. "Yes, you can attack him. Cloudtil let out a growl of satisfaction.

We’re really just unwitting pawns playing out a sinister predetermined plan laid out by the toaster.

... were trying to tell the dumb blonde to close her mouth, but the woman clearly took her hair color very seriously.

Werewolves never joke about age,” he said solemnly. “Why not?” Connor shrugged, a smile teasing his lips. “I dunno,” he finally admitted. “I just thought it sounded good.

Were the stars against him? A woman's fingers are quicker in the sky and shine more brightly.

Were you born this infuriating?" "It's taken me years of practice.

We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.

We should have wars. Then there would be no need for sports.

We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.

We shouldn't judge people. But there's a difference between judging and observing. And sometimes as we observe, our eyebrows become raised. Observation with an attitude, that's what I like to call it.

We shall see. You have been long away from our people. Your skills may have grown rusty." "What skills?" I asked. "His sexual ones. That is how we court among our kind," Vlad explained. "Oh, well, I'm not sure about the charm, Gordane may have to practice on that," I said, making Gordane growl. "But I can vouch for his sexual skills. He's had plenty of practice." A low growl, two low growls behind me, suddenly made me realize how my words could be taken. "I meant plenty of practice on other women," I hastened to add, looking exasperatedly at Gryphon and Halcyon-where the growls were coming from. "He has an entire harem of at least eighty women, for Pete's sake." Thankfully the menacing growls subsided.

We shook hands, just as we had the first day we'd met, which seemed absurd, given everything that had gone down between us, but I wasn't sure I could handle anything else anyway, or what was actually appropriate to do when getting reacquainted with someone you'd had sex with while on vacation. Should've Googled it before I left the house.

We should take her with us." Cinder glared. "Are you crazy?" "Crazy in love. She's gorgeous." "You're an idiot. Help me carry her to the living room.

We spend a huge chunk of our lives worrying about whether or not we will eventually get the person and/or the things we need or want. Once we get them, we spend the rest of our lives worrying about whether or not we will eventually lose them.

We started to collect more and more of these words and concepts, and began to realize what an arbitrarily selective work the Oxford English Dictionary is. It simply doesn’t recognize huge wodges of human experience. Like, for instance, standing in the kitchen wondering what you went in there for. Everybody does it, but because there isn’t—or wasn’t—a word for it, everyone thinks it’s something that only they do and that they are therefore more stupid than other people. It is reassuring to realize that everybody is as stupid as you are and that all we are doing when we are standing in the kitchen wondering what we came in here for is “woking.

We shouldn’t split up.” “I’ll only be a minute.” “It only takes a minute to be arrested or killed.

We sometimes congratulate someone, not because we value or find worthy what they have just achieved, but only because we fear coming across as jealous.

Wes sat in a cracked vinyl booth picking at his fries and listening to Amanda go on and on about the dress she'd found. '...and it has these little lavender bows. Oh, Wes, I can't wait 'til you see it.' She gesticulated wildly, and her only saving grace right now was her amazing rack that swayed and bounced with each movement. Sometimes he swore that was the only reason he ever looked crosswise at Amanda Price. That, and her daddy's checkbook. 'And I found these shoes--" 'Uh huh, that's nice,' he cut her off and slid free from the booth. He held out his hand. 'Got the card?' He waved the bill in the air at her questioning gaze. Was she a little cross-eyed, maybe? He thought so.

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.

We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you something," Simon said. "Do you find me fascinating to be around?" "What was that?" Jace said. "Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying.

We skipped right over Walmart on the ladder down.

We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.

We still need to give our best to life even if we do not understand the purpose of our existence on earth.

Western doctors are like poor plumbers. They treat a splashing tube by cleaning up the water. These plumbers are extremely apt at drying up the water, constantly inventing new, expensive, and refined methods of drying up water. Somebody should teach them how to close the tap.

We stop at the door. I’m still smiling. ‘Well, bye,’ Noah says. ‘Don’t call us! We’ll call you!’ I say to Noah. And I shoot the air with cowboy guns. Noah blinks.

We suffered for our art. You have to suffer for our art as well!

We survived, Ellie, we survived.

We survive largely because of the existence and recognition of high-end qualities—compassion, integrity, courage, humility, etc. These are how we perceive spirit. Even the most cynical and fatalistic bastard will snap out of self-absorption, abuse and hopelessness when confronted by an extreme expression of any one of these qualities. (Case studies show that this also applies even to rapists and murderers, not always, but more so than any other technique or therapy.) That is, beyond belief, the desire to feel good, or even hope or despair, there does exist an essential intuitive value system in each of us. This runs through and across every culture, and even every species. I don’t believe that those intuitive values are there to fool us into occupying ourselves so as to feel good while waiting for the inevitable to happen. Nature is not so decadent. Or cynical.

We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.

We took up a collection and sent a telegram to the authorities of that town. The text of the message was that eighty-five healthy, hungry hoboes would arrive about noon and that it would be a good idea to have dinner ready for them.

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

We’ve got DNA tests; we can convict someone by his saliva. Hell, if the killer had farted in that house the forensic team would probably have some gadget that could pick it up. How can the crime scenes be so clean?

We think we grow old, we grow wise and more tolerant; we just grow more lazy.

We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors.

We've got an unbeatable team."- Sauron