Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

[...] Depressive Episodes. [I]Episodes.[/i] Like depression is a sitcom with a fun punch line each time. Or a TV box set loaded with cliffhangers. The only cliffhanger in my life is "Will I ever get rid of this s***?" And believe me, it gets pretty monotonous.

described the Internet as “a series of intestines, laid out by a goatherd’s son, spewing bile at both ends

Der fünfte bringt stumm Wein herein; das wird der Weinreinbringer sein.

Der König sass mit seinem Vetter allein bei einer Beratung. In diese Kemenate drangen nun die wagemutigen Ritter ein. Kurz entschlossen zückten sie ihre Schwerter und beendeten darin recht unfreundlich dieses Gespräch.

Derisively, Ronan said, 'No. The ancient Greeks didn't have a word for Blue.' Everyone at the table looked at him. 'What the hell, Ronan?' said Adam. 'It's hard to imagine," Gansey mused, 'how this evidently successful classical education never seems to make it into your school papers.' 'They never ask the right questions,' Ronan replied.

DESDEMONA: I hope my noble lord esteems me honest. OTHELLO: Oh, ay, as summer flies are in the shambles, That quicken even with blowing. O thou weed, Who art so lovely fair and smell’st so sweet That the sense aches at thee, would thou hadst ne'er been born! DESDEMONA: Alas, what ignorant sin have I committed? OTHELLO: Was this fair paper, this most goodly book, Made to write “whore” upon?

Despite your delusions to the contrary, swingers, by and large, are a civilized lot. We come in all ages, shapes, sizes, nationalities, and ethnicities. We have differing beliefs, varying opinions, IQs, and senses of humor. We have families, friends, careers, hobbies, mortgages, and retirement plans. In short, we’re just like everyone else. We don’t strap on leather chaps and nipple clamps to go about our day. Wearing kinks on our sleeves like badges of honor isn’t our style. Truth be told, we don’t talk that much about our dalliances—-at least not to Vanilla folk. We’re not ashamed. We simply assume most of the world doesn’t get our way of life. And more times than not, we’re right.

Despite her unrepentant aversion to Italian food, which her husband put down to her nation's historic distrust of Italy, she suddenly declared: "All I want in life is to be able to get a take-away pizza!

Desire to be thin grows bigger and bigger. As does my appetite.

Despite wearing a Rolex, I have no time.

Despite what you think you know, most people don't want to fight, especially when evenly matched. … That's why you see those pissed young men doing the dance of "don't hold me back" while desperately hoping someone likes them enough to hold them back.

. Despite the considerable horror they had felt when the SA men were bellowing crude anti-Semitic slogans, in retrospect the joke-tellers were very much aware of the boycott’s inherent absurdity: A city on the Rhine during the boycott: SA men stand in front of Jewish businesses and “warn” passers-by against entering them. Nonetheless, a woman tries to go into a knitting shop. An SA man stops her and says, “Hey, you. Stay outside. That’s a Jewish shop!” “So?” replies the woman. “I’m Jewish myself.” The SA man pushes her back. “Anyone can say that!

Despite the elder-hippie vibe, she was so attractive that I assumed we must be related.

Destination seems to be far for the ones who dream big rather than the ones who stood firm and obstinate for their Passion

Dess took a deep breath, feeling a rush of relief now that the proclamation had been made. It was sort of like being the first astronomer to spot one of those big dinosaur-extermination-sized asteroids on its way toward Earth. Sure, this was majorly unpleasant news for everyone, including Dess personally, but at least she got to announce it.

Developer is the one who creates bugs/defects mostly and working code rarely

De voornaamste oorzaken van echtscheidingen zijn huwelijken.

De todos los tópicos acerca de la política, existe uno que se defiende con más fuerza que el resto: el dinero compra elecciones.

Developers and testers usually maintain a very healthy India-Pakistan like camaraderie

Dexter,' Debs said, jerking her head at me. 'Get some smelling salts or something. You and Deke help her up.' (...) Deke looked at me anxiously, reminding me very much of a large and handsome dog who needs a stick to fetch. 'Hey, you got some of that smelling stuff?' he said. Apparently it had become universally accepted that Dexter was the Eternal Keeper of the Smelling Salts. I had no idea where that baffling canard had come from, but in truth, I was completely without. Luckily, Mrs Aldovar apparently was not interested in sniffing anything.

Det med, at universet ser ud til at have en afslutning, lægger naturligvis en dæmper på et eller andet. Alle tanker om evigt liv sætter sig fast i halsen. Men det er ikke noget, der plager mig. Ikke nu. Tværtimod. Jeg føler mig mere levende, end jeg har gjort længe. Pludselig føles det helt fint at have en frist at forholde sig til. Jeg har egentlig altid arbejdet bedst under pres.

DETOX your mind, body, AND your contact list.

Did I love her? No. I obsessed over her completely. And thank heavens I was obsessed. Obsession, infatuation, is something short-lived. A sweet fever dream that leaves you exhausted from the high. Love is perpetual. Love is an entire world compared to that other form of mania people mistake love for. If love is loving the reality of a person, obsession is idealising the fantasy of another. Did I love her? No. Never. But I was utterly obsessed.

Did I mention how cute you look in my clothes?" Blushing I just look at what I'm wearing and laugh. "Chicks Dig me? And Sponge Bob boxers?" "Chicks do dig me! And Sponge Bob is a great cartoon in your world.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend until love introduces her to her soulmate.

DI Cartwright: The cat is booby trapped? DI Quill: Welcome to my world.

Did not the souls also of the righteous ask question of these things in their chambers, saying, "How long shall I hope on this fashion?" when cometh the fruit of the floor of our reward?

Did I miss the part where we were in a relationship?

Did it fall out?" Leo asked. "Is she bald?" "No, not at all. It's just that her hair is...green." To look at Leo's face, one would think it was Christmas morning. "What shade of green?" "Leo, hush," Win said urgently. "You are not to torment her. It's been a very trying experience. We mixed a peroxide paste to take the green out, and I don't know if it worked or not. Amelia was helping her to wash it a little while ago. And no matter what the result is, you are to say nothing." "You're telling me that tonight, Marks will be sitting at the supper table with hair that matches the asparagus, and I'm not supposed to remark on it?" He snorted. "I'm not that strong." "Please, Leo," Poppy murmured, touching his arm. "If it were one of your sisters, you wouldn't mock." "Do you think that little shrew would have any mercy on me, were the situations reversed?" He rolled his eyes as he saw their expressions. "Very well, I'll try no to jeer. But I make no promises." Leo sauntered toward the house in no apparent hurry. He didn't deceive either of his sisters. "How long do you think it will take him to find her?" Poppy asked Win. "Two, perhaps three minutes," Win replied, and they both sighed.

Did we really come all that way?" She asked. "Time flies when you're scared out of your mind." He answered.

Did you eat my Twinkies?" She gulped. Keeping her eyes glued to the whip, she said, "Exactly what Twinkies are we talking about?" "The Twinkies in the cupboard over the sink. The only Twinkies in the trailer." His fingers convulsed around the coils of leather. Oh, Lord, she thought. Flayed to death for a Twinkle. "Well?" "It, uh — it won't happen again, I promise you. But they didn't have any special marking on them, so there was no way I could tell they were yours." Her eyes remained riveted on the whip. "And normally I wouldn't have eaten them— I never eat junk food-—but I was hungry last night, and, well, when you think about it, you'll have to admit I did you a favor because they're clogging my arteries now instead of yours." His voice was quiet. Too quiet. In her mind she heard the howl of a rampaging Cossack baying at a Russian moon. "Don't touch my Twinkies. Ever. If you want Twinkies, buy your own.

Det var tomt i kiosken. Kan en disk satt en tjukk olding av en dame. Far hadde gitt meg en femtilapp. Feriepenger kalte han det. Det blir ikke mye ferie for femti kroner - Dronningen av Arne Berggren

Deuce groaned. “Ma, what sort of pie was that?” He was rubbing his stomach. “Bitter cherry. Lucy Hopewel had one at the potluck a week back, and I thought I might try it. It wasn’t good?” “It was good, Ma,” Ty said, voice flat. “Where do you get bitter cherries?” Deuce asked. “Disgruntled trees,” Ty said. He looked over his shoulder with a smirk.

Did I expect him to think sucking my cock was anything other than disgusting? I‟d never even kissed a girl, and believe me, if someone forced me to take part in some below-the-belt mouth-to-vagina action, I think I‟d probably vomit.

Did the harebell loose her girdle To the lover bee, Would the bee the harebell hallow Much as formerly?

Did god make man too perfect, So that a piece has to be removed through circumcision?

Did I say stab of Self Pity? No, I was trekking through the Swamp of Self Pity at this point, waist deep in my own stinking shit.

Did someone just call me the wine dude?” he asked in a lazy drawl. “It’s Bacchus, please. Or Mr. Bacchus. Or Lord Bacchus. Or, sometimes, Oh-My-Gods-Please-Don’t-Kill-Me, Lord Bacchus.

Did you ever notice how the words Attention and Alienation look the same when you are staring at them from a distance?

Did you get notes for me?" "No", Ronan replied,"I thought you were dead in a ditch.

Did you ever think about the creation of the flame-thrower? Someone, somewhere, at some time must have been sitting on his porch, and said, thoughtfully, 'I want to set him on fire.' gesturing to his neighbor. His friend who sat beside him and happened to be handy with tools said, 'I can do that.' Thus, we have a flame thrower.

Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.

Did you hear what I was playing, Lane? I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.

Did you know that New Hampshire has more hamsters per capita than any other state?

Did you want to save me now or does later fit better into your schedule?

Die in a good way, obviously.

Die Schafe schwiegen beeindruckt. Übernatürlich! Noch natürlicher als natürlich! Gras was natürlich, Kraftfutter nicht ganz so natürlich, und Plastik was gar nicht natürlich und fast ungenießbar. Etwas Übernatürliches hingegen mußte eine wahre Delikatesse sein!

Did you hear how his head bounced down the steps? Thud, splat, thud, splat.

Di a tus amigos que soy el último de una raza agonizante. Único superviviente de un planeta moribundo. He venido a robar a todas las mujeres... a violar a todos los hombres... y a aprender cómo se baila el twist.

Did you talk to him about it?" "Oh, sure. Nothing happened, yadda yadda. The usual. But my maydar went off like crazy." "Maydar?" "As in, he may be thinking about super hot sex with her. Like radar, only not as sure.