Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Writing a first-draft battle scene is akin to real combat—chaos, confusion, and you must keep your cool as you fire word bullets downrange.

Writing is my dream. From romance to dragons; fairies to fantasy worlds, this is where I live and play. Thanks be to God!

Writing is turning life's worst moments into money.

Wylan drew himself up. “I may not have had your … education, but I’m sure I know plenty of words that you don’t.” “Also the proper way to fold a napkin and dance a minuet. Oh, and you can play the flute. Marketable skills, merchling. Marketable skills.” “No one dances the minuet any more,” grumbled Wylan.

Writing isn't a choice. It's a calling. So answer the damn phone already!

W tym samym momencie Samson Miodek wyciągnął potężne ramiona, ułapił dwóch sowinieckich knechtów za czupryny i gruchnął ich głowami o blat, aż podskoczyły i posypały się naczynia. Smetiak, wykazując refleks, chwycił ze stołu lipową misę i z całej siły walnął nią olbrzyma w czoło. Misa pękła na dwoje. Samson pomrugał oczami. - Gratuluję, dobry człowieku - powiedział. - Udało ci się mnie wkurwić.

Wynter's Pass was a picturesque region in the north of Vohlfhein, where the Bleak Hills eventually collapsed into the Frozen Sea. From the back of Mr. Buckles, who had been on a slow trot since sunrise, Monch watched the light glisten off of the frozen branches of the evergreens. As the sun warmed the frozen ground, sending the evening's frost into retreat, Monch absorbed the splendor of it all and wondered how expensive the local real estate must be around here. He then contemplated attempting to find an agent that would represent his interests well. "This land is such a spectacular wonder," the Lion of Ahriman declared. "It would be very much sought after if they could just do something about the bears, the White Orts, the wolves, the bloodthirsty cannibals, the snow manapés, the frost wizards, the northern bandit gangs, the dire lynxes, the similarly sounding but not related pygmy bloodthirsty cannibals, the demon possessed yaks, the dead-soul animated trees, the..." Monch paused for a moment. "It just occurred to me that this land is really not safe at all. It seems almost everything in it wants to kill me," the Templar admitted.

Writing is not always a writer's playtime. It's actually a work in progress. Few understand this and mistakenly believe we're wasting time. But it's never a waste of time when doing what you love.

Writing it all down is like taking a good shit, if done right you probably feel empty afterwards.

Wroth, darling,” she purred, smiling so sweetly. “I can’t wait for the next time I get to put my mouth on you.” In an instant the smile faded and she snapped her teeth and yanked her head back as if she was chewing something free.

W turned on his heel and began walking toward the door at the far wall. And by walking I mean, of course, not moving at all, at least not to the naked eye, because his strides could only be measured in micrometers. His creaky legs made barely the tiniest of forward steps, so he’d taken four strides before I noticed any lateral movement at all. “I'll be right back.” “Geologically speaking, of course,” HARV said.

Writing something new is an effective way to get rid of writer's block. Or you can observe the people around you and fantasize like I do.

Wrong again. I'll tell you, shall I?" The djinni fixed him with its black-eyed stare. "You knocked yourself out, like the idiot you are. The golem was approaching, doubtless planning to take the Staff and crush your head like a melon. It was foiled—" "By your prompt action?" Nathaniel said. "If so, I'm grateful, Bartimaeus." "Me? Save you? Please—someone I know might be listening. No. My magic is canceled out by the golem's, remember? I sat back to watch the show. In fact... it was the girl and her friend. They saved you. Wait—don't mock! I do not lie. The boy distracted it while the girl climbed on the golem's back, tore the manuscript from its mouth, and threw it to the ground. Even as she did so, the golem seized her and the boy—incinerated them in seconds. Then its life force ebbed and it finally froze, inches from your sorry neck.

Yeah, but...Come on!" Edward sputtered. Rick glared at him. "Fine! You kids have fun. I'm going to stay here and be a boring adult.

Yeah. I told you he was crazy, right? I heard he does some weird stuff at home, too.' He said it with a conspiratorial stage whisper. 'Like mowing his lawn, and trimming his peonies.' 'Peonies?' I balked. 'God, he really is a freak.

Yeah, sure,” I scoffed. “You’re the picture of respectability and moral character…You expect me to believe you were your parents’ worst nightmare? What was your criminal act of choice—drunken bar fights? Or maybe grand theft auto? Don’t tell me you sold the crown jewels to buy drugs…It’s so disappointingly cliché.

Yakov frowned at her. "Be a good sport; it'll be fun!" "Your definition of 'fun' is twisted—whether it is due to your ego or to taking too many thumps to the head, I do not know." "You've got to come. The best adventures I've had have been with just the three of us," Yakov said. "Funny," Benno said. "All of my worst memories have involved the two of you.

Yeah, because off the ice the only language Stephanie speaks is fluent Bitch.

Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked. “This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt.

Yeah, sure. You know I can't stand the sight of blood, right?" "Said no one ever while dating a vampire," he quipped "Very clever. Ten points to Gryffindor.

Yeah, Vi, unless Armageddon hit while i was fuckin' you this morning and we missed it, I'm thinkin' grocery stores still exist and they're all still stocked.

Ya were going to turn me into a rat? Had I known that I wouldn’t have tried to turn ya into a snake.

Yeah, and if I have to choose between being eaten by the Endarkened and telling my Da I'm a Wildmage, I'm not sure which I'd pick.

Yearning often does not provide a sense of attainment or “peace,” as it is fuel for one’s personal purpose, to in some specific way give or create; to do that is not necessarily easy or peaceful.

Xingu!" she scoffed. "Why, it was the fact of our knowing so much more about it than she did—unprepared though we were—that made Osric Dane so furious. I should have thought that was plain enough to everybody!

Yeah 220, 221 whatever it takes!" Michael Keaton character in "Mr. Mom

Yeah, I get it; you're a vampire," she said. "Creepy. And okay, a little hot, I admit." "You don't mean that." "Come on. I still like you, you know, even if you... crave plasma." Michael blinked and looked at her as if he had never seen her before. "You what?" "Like. You." Eve enunciated slowly, as if Michael might not know the words. "Idiot. I always have. What, you didn't know?" Eve sounded cool and grown-up about it, but Claire saw the hectic color in her cheeks, under the makeup. "How clueless are you? Does it come with the fangs?" "I guess I... I just thought... Hell. I just didn't think... You're kind of intimidating, you know." "I'm intimidating? Me? I run like a rabbit from trouble, mostly," Eve said. "It's all show and makeup. You're the one who's intimidating. I mean, come on. All that talent, and you look... Well, you know how you look." " How do I look?" He sounded fascinated now, and he'd actually moved a little closer to Eve on the couch. She laughed. "Oh come on. You're a total model-babe." "You're kidding." "You don't think you are?" He shook his head. "Then you're kind of an idiot, Glass. Smart, but and idiot." Eve crossed her arms. “So? What exactly do you think about me, except that I’m intimidating?” “I think you’re…you’re…ah, interesting?” Michael was amazingly bad at this, Claire thought, but then he saved it by looking away and continuing. “I think you’re beautiful. And really, really strange.” Eve smiled and looked down, and that looked like a real blush, under the rice powder. “Thanks for that, “ she said, “I never thought you knew I existed, or if you did, that you thought I was anything but Shane’s bratty freak friend.” “Well, to be fair, you are Shane’s bratty freak friend.” “Hey!” “You can be bratty and beautiful,” Michael said. “I think it’s interesting.

Yeah,” I said. “And that thing you just did...” “This?” he inquired, puckering his lips again at me. “Yes, that. The blowfish beat you to that, jackass. How do you like jackass?” “Heeeeeeee-HAW!” he cried, punching both fists into the air. “Stick to something more loving though. Then I won’t have the urge to bray every time you call me.

Yeah. I talked to their chief and she told me something pretty scary.” “What?” he asked. I took a deep breath, and tried not to stutter. “She told me that a storm is coming-” “It does look like it might rain.” Dean noted, cutting me off. I rolled my eyes, “Not a literal storm, dumbass,

Yeah sure, have a few sweets or a fizzy drink, but don't buy a bucket of pick and mix, an extra large sundae, and a vessel of chemically enhanced liquid, and then complain that we're not only making you fat, but we're robbing you blind as well!

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

Yes, because in a zombie apocalypse, there's a lot of downtime to get your hair done.

Yes but the point is that you can go to the ballet with me or a baseball game or a concert and wherever is fine. You're like the Swiss army knife friend; you have an attachment for everything.

Yes! I'm me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don't understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That's the kind of person I am!

Yes, life is full of awkward moments! For example, that time you keep dazing off while staring at the same person you found yourself staring at five minutes ago. *gulp* So glad staring is still not illegal. Or, at least I'm glad for my own benefit.

Yes, contractions can be intense,' Noura continues. 'But your bodies are designed to handle it. And what you must remember is, it's a positive pain. I'm sure you'll both agree?' She looks over at Mum and Janice. POSITIVE?' Janice looks up, horrified. 'Ooh, no, dear. Mine was agony. 24 hours in the cruel summer heat. I wouldn't wish it on any of you poor girls.' But there are natural methods you can use,' Noura puts in quickly. 'I'm sure you found that rocking and changing position helped with the contractions. I wouldn't have said so,' Mum says kindly. Or a warm bath?' Noura suggets, smile tightening. A bath? Dear, when you're gripped by agony and wanting to die, a bath doesn't really help!' As I glance around the room I can see that all the girls' faces have frozen. Most of the mens' too.

Yes, his ear. I was attracted to his ear. While I was in church. I'm pretty sure that solidifies my position as the weirdest person on the planet.

Yes, life is hard, but it's not a bad way to pass the time. When all is said and done, I recommend it.

Yep, I was so mature, I decided I would just have to reward myself by doing the naked lambada with a Federal Agent.

Yes, but humans are more important than animals,' said Brutha. 'This is a point of view often expressed by humans,' said Om.

Ye know, doan't ye, what it feels like when ye burn yer hand in takin' a cake out of the oven or wi'a match when ye're lightin' one of they godless cigarettes? Ay. It stings wi' a fearful pain, doan't it? And ye run away to clap a bit o' butter on it to take the pain away. Ah, but' (an impressive pause) 'there'll be no butter in hell!

Yes. And also, if it's okay by you, I'd like to shut up now... Or possibly just go somewhere and swallow my face.

Yes, boys are a little like shoes. Why? Well...They can be useful. But mainly...They are nice to look at. Getting the right one can be a lovely accessory to an outfit. There are times when you couldn't do without them. And there are times when you'd rather do without them. Get the wrong ones and they can hurt. There are many types and often the ones that look the nicest are completely unpractical.

Yes, but does Maine have anything to SAY to Florida?

Yes, I could stop writing... But only after I shoot myself.

Yes. I gave an elf some hewlip soup and their head exploded. Ir was so much fun it was almost worth life imprisonment. I am saving my last leaf for someone special. I love seeing heads explode. I can't help it!' Nikolas felt fear prickle his skin. If even he sweetest-looking pixie could turn out to be a murderer, there really was no hope. 'Would you like to see my head explode?' Nikolas asked, although he was petrified of the answer. The Truth Pixie desperately tried to lie. 'Nnnnnnnnnnn...yes! I would like that so much!' The she looked guilty. 'Sorry,' she added, softly.

Yes,” Lisa said with the usual blank honestly. She frowned. “Was that a sincere question? Or a scolding rhetorical question akin to Harilotecca’s speech patterns?

Yep, she called to me from the parking lot of abandoned cars. The sun was shining though her windows like a beacon of hope." Chubs groaned. "Why are you so weird?" "Because my weird has to be able to cancel out your weird, Lady Cross-stitch.

Yes, everyone know Bigfoot smell like shit. Please make effort not to point out every time you see Bigfoot. Thank you.

Yes, Father. They have the bravest hearts, the noblest souls, and the shiniest armor in all the world.” “Shiniest armor?” repeated King Ban.