Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Human rights” became an infamous phrase. In the state-run media, they accused anyone supporting human rights of using it as an excuse to create chaos to destroy the country from within.

Human ties are the greatest distorters of reality because they tend to conceal man’s worst selfish instincts.

Humor can give you the edge you are looking for.

Humor has always been the redemptive angel in the Conroys’s sad history. With this family, I shall never grow hungry from lack of material.

Humor is a tool to ease the harsh realities of life.

Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.

(Hunter) "conner was at his desk, tapping away at another computer. It was amazing how much he and Quinn looked alike. Quinn nudged me as if he knew what I was thinking. "I'm cuter,"he informed me loftily.

Humor is a universal lanuage.

Humor relieves the tension between what we see or desire but repress in order to sustain a survivable illusion about the world we live in. As such it's always potent stuff, and dangerous.

Hungry's was a small and narrow place,and a large and wide woman was standing just inside the doors, polishing the counter with a rag. 'Good afternoon,' she said. I said the same thing. 'I'm hungry,' she said. 'Well, you're probably in the right place.' She gave me a frown and a menu. 'No, I mean I'm Hungry. It's my name. Hungry Hix. I own this place. Are you hungry?' 'No,' I said. 'You are.' 'Don't be a smart aleck,' Hungry said. 'But it cheers me up,' I said.

Humor is a tonic for life's trials. Laughter is the music of the soul. May your day have plenty of each

Humour is healthy for humans.

Hunter let go of JJ who started dusting his jacket with both hands. ‘Look at what you’ve done to my suit man, these things don’t come cheap you know.’ Garcia checked his pocket change. ‘Here.’ He extended his hand towards JJ. ‘A dollar ninety-five. Go buy another one.

Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and honey!

Humor bridges the weight of serious reflection.

Humor is the touchstone of the truly mythological as distinct from the more literal-minded and sentimental theological mood.

Humor. Two unconnected things are suddenly united by a paradigm shift. It is hard to describe, but we all know it when it happens. Weirdly, it causes us to make a barking noise.

Humor und Geduld sind die beiden Kamele, mit denen man jede Wüste durchqueren kann. (Arabisches Sprichwort)

Hurry up, because I'm not sure how much more of your sarcasm I can take before I write a book about it.

Humor writers: 1) Write 2) Laugh 3) Laugh when they write 4) Write when they laugh

I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food.

I admire the person who can write it right off. Mencken once said that a person who thinks clearly can write well. But I don't think clearly--too many thoughts bump into one another. Trains of thought run on a track of the Central Nervous System--the New York Central Nervous System, to make it worse.

I admit I get the occasional headache," I said. "I admit some of my hangovers are epic. But usually all it takes for me to bounce back is a sauna, cold-plunge pool, steam bath, massage, and wasabi to clear the sinuses".

Huxley: "Tell me something Bryce, do you know the difference between a Jersey, a Guernsey, a Holstein, and an Ayershire?" Bryce: "No." Huxley: "Seabags Brown does." Bryce: "I don't see what that has to do..." Huxley: "What do you know about Gaelic history?" Bryce: "Not much." Huxley: "Then why don't you sit down one day with Gunner McQuade. He is an expert. Speaks the language, too." Bryce: "I don't..." Huxley: " What do you know about astronomy?" Bryce: "A little." Huxley: "Discuss it with Wellman, he held a fellowship." Bryce: "This is most puzzling." Huxley: "What about Homer, ever read Homer?" Bryce: "Of course I've read Homer." Huxley: "In the original Greek?" Bryce: "No" Huxley: "Then chat with Pfc. Hodgkiss. Loves to read the ancient Greek." Bryce: "Would you kindly get to the point?" Huxley: "The point is this, Bryce. What makes you think you are so goddam superior? Who gave you the bright idea that you had a corner on the world's knowledge? There are privates in this battalion who can piss more brains down a slit trench then you'll ever have. You're the most pretentious, egotistical individual I've ever encountered. Your superiority complex reeks. I've seen the way you treat men, like a big strutting peacock. Why, you've had them do everything but wipe your ass.

I ain't taking no more rides on the stupid train.

I always deemed myself a one chance person, if you hurt me or betray me, then I'm done with you. As I grew older and the scars of wisdom imprinted on my soul and chest, I realized a second chance took a monumental amount of strength and some people deserve a chance to right their wrongs. Now, I would gladly allow another the opportunity to cauterize their wounds at the risk of ripping open my tight-knit scars. I would bleed for you and feel alive rather than watch with cold eyes as you decay.

I already gave you my ass. I guess you can have my hand too.

I also learned a valuable lesson of the importance to operate pants zipper only in a calm and controlled fashion, else it might cause considerable and rather painful damage.

I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I'm sympathetic, it usually means I haven't been around people in awhile.

I always have my own opinion before my boss says his.

I always thought time was the most valuable currency, but I realized the people we spent our time on and loved us back, that love held even more meaning to me.

I am a bit old fashion but I believe in prayer, I believe prayer can move mountain. Prayer might not be our responsibility but it is a good starting place. It can give us heaven's prospectives on human problems. I know we need to do a bit more than pray but that doesn't mean we don't need to pray.

I always wished for a life like the movies. I should have been more specific in my prayers for a romantic drama, not a slapstick comedy.

I am a Christian, you know, Julia.' So am I. But I'm not above staying out of jail any way I can.

Abyssinias "I met a traveler from an antique land Who said: A huge four-footed limestone form Sits in the desert, sinking in the sand. Its whiskered face, though marred by wind and storm, Still flaunts the dainty ears, the collar band And feline traits the sculptor well portrayed: The bearing of a born aristocrat, The stubborn will no mortal can dissuade. And on its base, in long-dead alphabets, These words are set: "Reward for missing cat! His name is Abyssinias, pet of pets; I, Ozymandias, will a fortune pay For his return. he heard me speak of vets -- O foolish King! And so he ran away.

I adore your jealousy, especially when it's so misplaced. I expect Shakespeare wrote a sonnet about that.

I agreed to keep the cards a secret and asked my grandmother if she believed in magic. She said she did not but that, surprisingly, magic worked even if you did not believe in it.

I almost stopped believing in God." "What?" Rose stared at her. "You can't stop believing in god. You not believing in god would be like - like Taylor Swift not believing in break-up songs.

I already know how I'm going to die"..."How?" I asked. "Spider bite. Or being sarcastic at the wrong time.

I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear

I always said I acted like a twelve-year old, so I decided to write like a twelve-year old.

I always started studying with the best intentions, telling myself that today just might be the day it all fell into place, and everything would be different. But more often than not, though, after a couple of pages of practice problems, I'd find myself spiraling into an all-out depression. When it was really bad, I'd put my head down on my book and contemplate alternate options for my future. "whoa," I heard a voice say. It was muffled slightly by my hair, and my arm, which I locked around my head in an effort to keep my brain from seeping out.

I always thought there were like seven continents.” Crazzee was kind of an expert in geography. One of her ex-boyfriends had a large map of the world above his bed.

I also drink Scotch. But I'm not picky. I'll take the victory Scotch, or the Scotch of defeat. Or the rotgut swill.

I also found it particularly encouraging that the decent people in his life were now outnumbering the crazy bitches

I always tried to write a story in such a manner that I wouldn't mind buying it myself.

I am afraid, monsieur, you will have to kill me first, and I have a prejudice against being killed before nine o'clock.

I am a knitting fool. It's a quiet pastime, and a productive one. It enables one to join in the conversation or switch one's brain off, according to the interest or the excruciating dullness of what is being discussed. And the product does keep people warm and comfortable.

I am a leg of the death tripod that will destroy our foes.