Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Yes, my mother was on about Byron. But who wants to be like Byron? I despise him.

Yes!" Narissus unslung his bow and grabbed an arrow from his dusty quiver. "The first one who get that bronze, I will like you almost as much as I like me. I might even kiss you, right after I kiss my reflection!" "Oh my gods!" the nymphs squealed.

Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term." "Really? I thought you were talking about his ass.

Yesterday is a pile of rubble. Today is a pile of opportunity. Life takes a new dump each morning

Yes, the saint was underrated quite a bit, then, mostly by people who didn’t like things that were ineffable… …a lot of people don’t like things that are unearthly, the things of this earth are good enough for them, and they don’t mind telling you so. “If he’d just go out and get a job, like everybody else, then he could be saintly all day long…” —from “The Temptations of St. Anthony,” by Donald Barthelme

Yes, very good,” sang Governor Evrard, as if he had successfully explained that two and two made four.

Yes, world. Truly. You disgust me. Please continue.

Yes you can let a guy bite you but not on the first date! he has to pay for dinner ! But you can bite him on the first date at no cost that is quite normal

Yesterday he had limped, but today there was no part of his feet that didn't hurt, so limping did no good.

Yes Yes when God created love he didn't help most when God created dogs He didn't help dogs when God created plants that was average when God created hate we had a standard utility when God created me He created me when God created the monkey He was asleep when He created the giraffe He was drunk when He created narcotics He was high and when He created suicide He was low when He created you lying in bed He knew what He was doing He was drunk and He was high and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time He made some mistakes but when He created you lying in bed He came all over His Blessed Universe.

Yes, you bit me, yes, I kind of liked it, yes, let's not talk about it again, said Jace. You're not a vampire anymore. Focus.

Yes, some people are against you, and there's still more OCD things we haven't discussed. But you're not a freak. Whenever you feel comfortable confiding in me, I'm here. Except when I'm unconscious, but I think you get that.

Yes. The elven magi are very old, but not old enough to remember that all of this has happened before.” Parmida frowned. “Just how old are you?” “I am older than a thousand of your suns,” the unicorn answered. “. . . and that means?

Yes, we'll have to put a stop to this bookworming. No future in that.

Yes, word had gotten around about my amusing little defeathering trick (note: made the chicken naked). Apparently we couldn't just eat the poor thing and be done with it. Apparently we had to knit cunning lil' sweaters for it so it could squawk around the yard, feeling fancy.

Yoh: Being popular with guys isn't something you can just stitch together! Haruna: What?! I Can't?! Yoh: OF COURSE NOT! Yoh: Mixing coke, tea and orange juice would taste nasty, right?! That's exactly what you're doing!

Yo hoy, Ydet, sueño soñé: usted y yo hoy.

Yet there was something very mysterious about this stranger. Almost dangerous. He looked like a man who had sailed many distant seas, met many a stranger and knew many a secret. His expression was stoic. He had a hardened, faraway look in his eyes. The wind whistled like the Wild Western whispers of Fergus’s mythical lone prairies when he took the stage. He was The Man Without A Name.

Yet while Owllwin was arrogant, he was also humble enough to admit when he had made a mistake. Perhaps it was his sheer clumsiness that kept him so humble: the first time he spoke to Cricket was in the great dining hall, and he brought down six tables five minutes after.

Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy

Yo, beautiful. Come pop this collar off me.” Natalya hissed, “Are you mad?” “What’s she gonna do? Vivisect me? Imprison me? We’ve got a pact to fulfill,remember?” To Dorada, she cried, “Seriously, sweetheart, shake that mummified ass over here.” Regin kicked the glass. “Lemme the fuck out—” La Dorada swung her head around,peering at Regin with her one eye. “Okay. That’s freaky. Lookit, Gollum, if you spring me, I’ll help you find your Precious.

Yo! Hold my poodle!

Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Yet, for my part, I was never usually squeamish; I could sometimes eat a fried rat with a good relish, if it were necessary. I am glad to have drunk water so long, for the same reason that I prefer the natural sky to an opium-eater’s heaven. I would fain keep sober always; and there are infinite degrees of drunkenness. I believe that water is the only drink for a wise man; wine is not so noble a liquor; and think of dashing the hopes of a morning with a cup of warm coffee, or of an evening with a dish of tea! Ah, how low I fail when I am tempted by them! Even music may be intoxicating. Such apparently slight causes destroyed Greece and Rome, and will destroy England and America. Of all ebriosity, who does not prefer to be intoxicated by the air he breathes?

Y'know, if anyone happens to know the name of a good literary agent that will actually return phone calls...

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

You and Dad are really the wrecking ball of all of our teenage runaway fantasies. Why couldn't you jerks go and be crack addicts or religious fanatics so we could have excuses to live on the wide open road? - email from Lily

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order

Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

You admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand proof. Did you learn nothing in Boot Camp?" (Mace to Smitty)

You a fan of the show?” AJ asked. “Oh, yeah, I adored it—well, until the whole sixth season and Billith.” AJ snickered. “I couldn’t agree more. I used to be pretty much obsessed with it, but yeah, I couldn’t get it up for the last two seasons. Now I’m more a Walking Dead and Sons of Anarchy fan myself.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.

Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. 'That's some catch, that Catch-22,' he observed. 'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed. Yossarian saw it clearly in all its spinning reasonableness. There was an elliptical precision about its perfect pairs of parts that was graceful and shocking, like good modern art, and at times Yossarian wasn't quite sure he saw it at all, just the way he was never quite sure about good modern art or about the flies Orr saw in Appleby's eyes. he had Orr's word to take for Appleby's eyes.

You always kiss on the first date?" "Not usually until after the duct-tape.

You and I both know that love is for children,'' he said. ''We're adults. Compatibility is for adults.'' ''Compatibility is for my Bluetooth and my car,'' Teresa replied. ''Only they get along just fine, and my car never makes my bluetooth feel like shit.

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo no creo en brujas, pero que las hay, las hay.

...You agreed we would be fearless together. I’m gonna need you to keep your promise,” Haley said a little loudly. Falon’s office door opened, and Del stepped inside. “I heard a raised voice,” she said and gave Haley the eye. “Were you out there listening to our conversation?” Falon snapped. “Yes,” Del said unabashedly with her gaze locked on Haley. “I’m Falon’s bodyguard. Don’t let my manicure, impeccable high and lowlighted hair, and makeup fool you. I can have a shoe off my foot in less than half a second and peck you full of holes with the heel before you even know what hit you.” “Del!” Falon exclaimed as she hopped off her stool. “Honey, that might’ve scared me before I met Falon, but I’ve let monkeys climb in my shirt, and I’m about to get a tattoo.” Haley stepped up to Del. “Bring. It. On.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

You are allowed to float around having no damned idea what you want to do with yourself with no actual time frame in which you need to figure it out.

You are alone. But you seems not afraid- though you weary with your groaning; wandering far off in the wilderness and your eyes, consumed because of your grief; waxed old while you're still young.

You are a more powerful person than you might have ever imagined.” Maxwell D. Kalist.

You are blessed with luck, small one', he told Harry. 'Rejoice and give thanks - - someone wants you dead.