Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Eldon doesn’t have to play if he doesn’t want to,” Tobias repeated, his fist tightening on the fork. Eldon sensed with dread that their aunt was in great danger of being stabbed.

Ein paar Sekunden lang herrschte Totenstille. Es war so leise, als würden selbst die Möbel die Luft anhalten.

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

Eleanor laughs. “Oh, I know that, silly. But it’s easier not to let them realize it, because then they’d stop ignoring me, and they’d realize how much mischief I really get up to. Now, Lord Ackerly, I will have to ask you to stop stroking my hand, or my own shadow might replace your missing one.

Ein wenig komme ich mir vor, als hätte mich meine Oma eingekleidet.

Either way, I’m still very [...] and wanting,” said Elbryn with a sad laugh. “So take care of it.” “With a lady present? That would be unthinkably rude.” “You’ve been rude to me before,” Holonie pointed out. “But I like you now,” Elbryn said.

Elbryn smiled. “You know, you never told me your name,” he said, looking at her fondly. “No,” Holonie answered simply, “I did not.” Elbryn stared at her, his eyes suddenly weary, and Holonie heard the exasperated thought on the surface of his mind, Elves. “Fair enough,” he said aloud.

Elders of the Creedish church made celibacy sound as easy as choosing not to play basketball. Just say no.

Elise hid her face in his shoulder, embarassed, "Kane! What will they think?" She whispered against his neck. "That we're newly bonded and I can't keep my hands off of my lovely mate." And sure enough, the good natured calls that accompanied them across the yard left her in no doubt that the others were thinking exactly that.

Eli Willard just looked at her for a long moment, and then he announced, 'Lady of the Lake strikes iceberg in mid-Atlantic; 215 drown. New York City fire destroys 700 buildings. Japanese earthquake kills 12,000. Worldwide cholera epidemic kills millions. Wages rise, but prices rise faster. Financial crash occurs on Van Buren's 36th day in office. Nation begins first great depression. Bank failures and closings spread like plague. 200,000 are unemployed. Business bankrupt; only pawnbrokers prosper. Van Buren declares ten-hour days on all federal jobs. There. Does that make you feel any better?

Elizabeth waited until he had left and then promptly burst into laughter. She couldn’t help it, she had been soaked, threatened by a skunk, attacked by a dog and now given a moral lesson by a man that had threatened her with a Winchester earlier. She couldn’t remember having a better day.

Ellie began to arrive home laden with Halloween decorations she had made at school and entertained Gage with the story of the Headless Horseman. Gage spent that evening babbling happily about somebody named Itchybod Brain.

El orgullo de ser mexicano aumenta en momentos de crisis. Eso explica que en los últimos 70 años hayamos estado tan orgullosos. El orgullo entre nosotros es una forma de la desesperación.

El pecado de Onán. Derramar en el suelo la vieja semilla. Atar el camello. Quitarle el polvo al burro. Azotar al fariseo. Onanismo, el pecado que requiere de cientos de horas de práctica para ser dominado, o al menos eso era lo que yo me decía a mí mismo. Dios mató a Onán por derramar su semilla en el suelo (la semilla de Onán, no la de Dios).

El humor, esa expresión irreductible de ética.

Elizabeth knew it was a fast day, but the rumbling in her belly was harder to ignore than the grumbling of the preacher.

Ellen rose to her feet. Jack thought for a moment she was going to storm out. Instead, she picked up the pitcher of hot fudge and poured the contents onto Leesha Middleton's pink jeans and fuzzy white sweater. "Oops." Ellen sat down again and went back to eating her ice cream. Leesha screamed, a sound that could be heard in Canada. Every eye in Corcoran's was on her. She slid out of the booth and swiped ineffectually at her jeans with a napkin.Then she plucked at her ruined sweater with her thumb and forefinger. "You...you...I can't believe you did that!" Ellen licked whipped cream from the back of her spoon and looked at Leesha calmly. Leesha was tiny, but she seemed to expand, like an amphibian taking on air, then she drew herself up and retrieved her pink leather purse from the bench next to Jack. It was smeared with fudge too. "You'll pay for that, I promise you," she said to Ellen in a voice that raised the gooseflesh on Jack's neck. Then she turned and left. For a moment, Corcoran's was totally silent. Ellen looked across the table at Jack's sundae. "Are you going to finish that?

Els desmemoriats sempre tenen la consciència tranquil·la.

Email is the scourge of our age,' said Silvia. 'Email and cancer.

Eli's a good kid, Jasper. Too good for the likes of me. He deserves better." Jasper shot him a penetrating look. "What he deserves is a nice dame, but seeing as how that ain't in the cards, you're the next best thing." "Wow." Jessie stared in disbelief. "No one's ever insulted me with a compliment before. That's some talent you got there, Jasper.

Elizabeth Sarah Kowalski!" "Whoa," Evan said in a low voice. "How bad does a word have to be to get you middle-named during dirty Scrabble?

El Pelos, cuando le preguntaron en clase de Física por las tres reglas de conducta en caso de detonación nuclear, contestó: - Primero: mirar, porque un espectáculo así sólo se ve una vez en la vida. Segundo: tumbarme y reptar hasta el cementerio más próximo, y tercero y principal: hacerlo despacio, para que no cunda el pánico. Le cascaron un cuatro, pero no le impusieron una contribución al debate.

Em 2005 pela primeira vez na vida pipocou herpes nos meus lábios em razão de estresse e agora em 2012 as mesmas decidiram me revisitar e ficaram pro chá.

Eliot, huh?" she says. The thin fabric of her long T-shirt brushes my arm. "Is everyone in your family named for a famous symbolist poet?" No, I'm named for someone who was supposed to be in the Bible but isn't." No? What happened to him?" I glance over at her, the way the corner of her mouth turns up, half-smirk, half-smile. Her hair moves as she walks. He was called to be a disciple, but he had, you know, stuff to do." Stuff, like...polishing his sandals? Making lunch?" We keep walking, over the bridge across the lake, past the swings and the playground equipment, just walking. Exactly. And what about you, Calliope...is everyone in your family named after a...what is it? A keyboard? An organ?" It's a steam-powered piano. It's also the name of the Greek goddess of poetry. You should read stuff other than chemistry; you'd know these things." Her smirky smile again, her sleeve touching my arm. I feel like my skin has been removed, every nerve exposed. I open my mouth, and this comes out: "I think you are more goddess than piano." Stupid, stupid. But she laughs. "You know, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today." You don't see too many calliopes," I tell her. I'm Cal, actually. I mean, that's what I prefer." I meant the steam pianos...you don't see too many." She stops and looks at me, full-on, and right away I put it on the list of the best moments in my life. Until you said that, Eliot, I wasn't fully aware of the demise of the steam piano, so thank you. Really." I smirk at her and we both fight not to smile. "Okay, smart-ass," I say.

Elissa pulled away from Stepmama and rose to her feet. She gazed down at Mr Collingwood’s tormented face and smoothed back the jet-black hair from his fore- head. I could have sworn I saw a glowing halo rise around her as she spoke. “You must forgive me, my love, and learn to forget me, for my sake.” “Oh, my Lord,” I said. “You’ve been waiting your whole life for this, haven’t you?” “Can you doubt it?” said Angeline. “Look at the two of them! He’s as bad as she is.

Elizabeth waited until he had left and then promptly burst into laughter. She couldn’t help it, she had been soaked, threatened by a skunk, attacked by a dog and now given a moral lesson by a man that had threatened her with a Winchester earlier. She couldn’t remember ever having a better day.

el origen secreto del humor no es la alegría sino la tristeza

Elle n'aimait pas parler d'elle, encore moins qu'on en dise du bien. Je vais en profiter, maintenant qu'elle est partie.

Elvira, as befitting one who represented a magazine, registered first and demanded a room and bath. She pronounced it "bawth." The clerk seemed aghast at the request. However, in that hotel, any lady got whatever she asked for. It was her unquestioned right, as a lady. But there was no bath in the hotel, nor running water for that matter. The clerk faltered out something about a nice bowl and pitcher in every room, and said he thought they could provide a foot tub. He was sorry; there was no bath. Elvira couldn't grasp the situation. She thought the clerk was stupid--a hotel without a bath was a contradiction in terms. When she explained that she wanted something for complete immersion, the clerk seemed embarrassed. At his wits' end, he suggested (blushing like fire) that the colored boy could bring up the hog scalder.

Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.

Emblematic of this era was the prolific Viennese surgeon Theodor Billroth. Born in 1821, Billroth studied music and surgery with almost equal verve. (The professions still often go hand in hand. Both push manual skill to its limit; both mature with practice and age; both depend on immediacy, precision, and opposable thumbs.)

Emma; but you must think him agreeable. Can you lay your hand on your heart, and say you do not? - Indeed I can, Both Hands; and spread to their widest extent.

Em noite de Lua cheia eu interfiro nas novelas.

Embrace tomfoolery as if it were a rich relative on his deathbed.

Emily smiled mischievously. "Your engagement was a rainy day occurrence? Afraid she would say no on a good day?

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache.

Emma this is not a joke. Look at your hands! They're... they're... wrinkled!" "Yes that's because-" "No way. I'm not going down for this. This isn't my fault." "Toraf-" "Galen will find some way to blame me though. He always does. 'You wouldn't have gotten caught if you didn't swim so close to that boat, tadpole.' No it couldn't be the humans fault for fishing in the first place-" "Toraf." "Or how about. 'Maybe if you'd stop trying to kiss my sister, she'd stop bashing your head with a rock.' How does my kissing her have anything to do with her bashing my head with a rock? If you ask me, it's just a result of poor parenting-" "Toraf." "Oh and my favorite: 'If you play with a lionfish, you're going to get pricked.' I wasn't playing with it! I was just helping it swim faster by grabbing its fins-" "TOR-AF." He stops pacing along the water, even seems to remember that I exist. "Yes, Emma? What were you saying?

Emma, we don't have to kiss. She already knows I want to sleep with you.

Emma: You can demand that Pettibone retain my services, but you cannot make similar demands of the parents of the students. They will not entrust the education of their daughters to a woman who has removed her clothing for an artist, no matter how exalted that artist may be. Pettibone would become a school without students. No that avenue is closed to me now. Nicholas: Women disrobe for men other than their husbands every day. Emma: But they are not on exhibition in the Royal Academy. Nicholas: what of extenuating circumstances? Emma: You make no sense

Emmet pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate it when you’re cryptic.

Emerson has what I believe is called a selective memory. He can recall minute details of particular excavations but is likely to forget where he left his hat.

Emotionally detach, she ordered herself, no matter that he smells good and has a body you want to lick like an ice cream cone.

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

Embroidery?" I sucked at embroidery. Aunt Hyacinth had tried to teach me, but we'd both given it up as a lost cause.Lucy, strangely, had picked it up really quickly and embroidered a tapestry of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow for my last birthday.

Empires rose and fell, and still the speaker droned on in his cicada-like monotony...

Emus are little more than feathered stomachs borne on mighty legs and ruled by a tiny brain. If an emu wants one of your sandwiches, he will get it, and then run away. He cannot help you with your sudoku.

En 1942 fui liberado de la cárcel gracias a un decreto ley. Pensé que al fin podría retomar mi vida. Pero nada más lejos de la realidad. Al poco tiempo de mi liberación fui obligado a cumplir cuatro años de servicio militar. No se me ocurre nada más propio de la vanguardia surrealista que combatir en una guerra durante años y años y acto seguido tener que hacer la mili.

Encostou a bicicleta e andou uns metros na direcção da estação sem saber, na sua inocência, que estava a candidatar-se a notícia de jornal. Nas honrosas páginas de crime. No dia seguinte pôde ler, enquanto massajava as costas nas tábuas do calabouço:...

Endgame,” Sam muttered, not really expecting Caine to hear. “Yep,” Caine said. “That’s right. Endgame. The FAYZ barrier is coming down; at least that’s my bet. But there’s also a ninety percent chance you and me both end up dead. Ten percent chance we both actually get out of here alive. In which case we end up sharing a cell somewhere.” He laughed. “Kind of unfair, really, what with me being evil and all, and you just so darned virtuous and heroic.

English and Gym. That's it. Look, do you know how difficult it is to write about being at school convincingly? It's been years since Stephfordy graduated, so it'll save us all a lot of time and effort if we just stick to two real subjects...