Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Man, didn't anybody ever tell you that art is propaganda? It doesn't matter whether you think it should be or it shouldn't be, it just is, and motherfucker, like or not, you're sitting on a funky Magna Carta.

Man is an endangered species.

Mandy (lentil eating, lesbian, long socks) in PR

Man is a clothed animal; almost.

Manners,” I say. “It ain't polite to taste people. Shit.

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably out to be. His chief occupation is the extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.

Man with goatee. Man who looked like a Beatle. All the Beatles at once. Woman wearing newspaper hat. I'd grown used to how weird New Yorkers were, and I could fit them into types.

Many are they that rise up against you. Many there be which say of your soul, ‘’There is no help for you.’’ But the instruments of death is prepared for your cause.

Man's panic does not produce God's power.....sometimes you need to pray before you post on social media.

Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.

Manuelo: Have another muffin. They're still warm from the oven. Chloe: My life is a mess, Manuelo. Another muffin isn't going to help. Manuelo: It can't hurt.

Manusia mungkin bisa bertahan hidup tanpa makanan, tapi tidak ada manusia yang bisa bertahan hidup tanpa harapan.

Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.

Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he earns; and many a man would not be in a relationship with or married to his woman, if he earned twice as much as he earns.

Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?" "In every way that I can" said Nutt. "I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?" There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who immediately cupped his hand over his mouth. "Oh I do beg your pardon," he said.

Many in America, as one social historian wrote, 'believed implicitly that New York's social leaders went to bed in full evening dress, brushed their teeth in vintage champagne, married their daughters without exception to shady French counts, and arrayed their poodle dogs in diamond tiaras.'...

Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.

Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.

Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself.

Many great people had been considered to be boring, like Nigel Mansell, but anyone who had read the racing driver’s autobiography, "Clutch Down, Dick Out", would know that perception was way off the mark.

Man, you look like you've never seen a gas station before! You zone out so much sometimes, it's like you're going to another world!

Man, you should write a book.’ ‘I know. You couldn’t make this stuff up, could you?

Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students.

Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.

Many years ago I was so innocent I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so many members of my generation used to dream of. We dreamed of such an America during the Great Depression, when there were no jobs. And then we fought and often died for that dream during the Second World War, when there was no peace. But I know now that there is not a chance in hell of America becoming humane and reasonable. Because power corrupts us, and absolute power corrupts us absolutely. Human beings are chimpanzees who get crazy drunk on power. By saying that our leaders are power-drunk chimpanzees, am I in danger of wrecking the morale of our soldiers fighting and dying in the Middle East? Their morale, like so many lifeless bodies, is already shot to pieces. They are being treated, as I never was, like toys a rich kid got for Christmas.

Maple thought optimistically that human beings, on their good days, weren't much dimmer than sheep. Or at least, not much dimmer than dim sheep.

Mari berkenalan... Aku adalah aku yang tak bernama Aku bisa jadi teman mu, tak kunjung akrab karena kau tak tahu namaku, Aku bisa jadi presiden kalian tak akan mendemo ku, karena kalian tak tahu namaku, Aku bisa jadi pelacur para bourjois, tapi tak ada yg memakai ku, karena kalian tak tahu namaku, Aku ada di kaum bolshevik, mengangkat senjata, menembaki rahim ibu kalian... Bungkam kalian tanpa membalas, karena tak tahu namaku, Aku memang seperti itu ... Tak bernama,,, Tak bernama,,, Tak bernyawa,,, Tak bernama,,, Aku bisa jadi bos properti perumahan, nanti kalian ku usir hingga memelas mencari namaku,,, Aku bisa menjadi ojek, lalu ku tabrak adikmu yang bersekolah itu,,, Aku mampu duduk sejajar,dengan ayah mu di kursi DPR. menggorok leher nya saat pulas tertidur, Menjadi supertor bola pun tak terhitung, mengutuk hakim garis karena tak mahir bercinta, Tak ada yang menuntutku, palu hakim tak berbunyi di hadapanku, mereka tak tahu namaku, Gadis cantik berkulit putih itu pun esok menjanda setelah ku beri anak ku pergi, Akan ku buat ktp dengan mngosongkan kolom nama, maklumi saja karena aku tak suka kau tahu dan sebut namaku

Marcus and Ellie exchanged a worried look and examined the bag again. Sure enough, the gold was gone.

Maria, groaning for scraps, would drape his head on my feet as I ate, trying to camouflage himself as my napkin or the rug.

Marketing is exactly like leaving teardrops in the ocean.

Marla said, "This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident.

Marco: Hey, you’re a … a genie … the thing that grants all wishes. Oh my God, oh lord! The Gods have finally listened to my everlasting pleas. I hit the jackpot. You’re going to fulfill all my wishes! My life is all set now, sir … Sir … or … madam. Huh … you’re a woman! I’m surprised, I never heard of a female genie in any of the stories. Genie: You are one sexist son of a bitch. Can’t genies be female? Really, bro?

Margaret looked up at him from where she sat by the window. "Oh, Brother Gregory, what's wrong with your hand" "I'm just scratching it; it itches." "Really, is it red?" "No, it's just a bite. You gave me a flea." "I don't have fleas, Brother Gregory," insisted Margaret. "Everyone has fleas, Margaret. It's part of God's plan." "I don't. I wash them off." "Margaret, you haven't any sense at all. They just hop back. You can't wash enough to keep them off." "I do." "Aren't you afraid your skin will come off? It could, you know. That's much worse than fleas." Brother Gregory spoke with an air of absolute certainty. "Everyone tells me that. It hasn't come off yet." "Margaret, you're too hardheaded for your own good. Now take for your next sentence, 'Fleas do not wash off.'" "Is this right?" She held up the tablet, and Brother Gregory shook his head in mock indignation. "I despair of you, Margaret. Flea is not spelled with one e--it's spelled with two.

Margo shushing Alice, who had to sigh theatrically every time Cary Grant did a Cary Grant thing.

Mari managed to fall asleep now and then, only to awaken with a start of fear that she had been making noise. "Do I snore when I'm sleeping?"she finally whispered to Alain. He didn't answer. "Alain? Are you awake?" "Yes," he's reply finally came. "I just do not know which answer would be right." "Just tell me!" "Sometimes." "Sometimes?" Mari moved her eyes enough to glance at Alain. "Loud or soft?" "Sometimes." "Does it ever bother you?" Alain hesitated again. "Sometimes." "Are you going to give me any plain yes or no answers to this?" "Not if I can avoid doing so," he replied.

Marion does not talk much. But when she does talk she swears a lot more. There is a joy she takes in swearing which I suspect she inherited from her aunt Grace. She likes the word 'motherfucker' in particular (not that this particular one was around in her aunt's day). Everything is a motherfucker. For instance, the TV is a motherfucker. (There is 'never anything on the motherfucker'.) Her shoes are motherfuckers. The American president is a motherfucker. Weaving yarn through a loom is a motherfucker. Bertrand Russell's History of Western Philosophy is a motherfucker.

Marketing is the marriage of business and creativity. The relationship is enhanced by the occasional affair with science.

Mark Twain said, "Humor is mankind's greatest blessing." Dorsey Bing said, "I'll take womankind's greatest blessing: more wine.

Marriage is brainwashing. Not necessarily a bad thing. Your brain could do with a wash.

Margaret Calhoun may not have been a holy roller, but she sure could fry the Hell out of a chicken.

Markarismenos apousia fovia or notata absentia phobia is the fear of being marked absent.(In the lecture)

Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

Mark Twain said the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug, and people think he was good, right ? Didn't write any decent characters, as far as I can tell, but otherwise fine.

Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.

Marriage was like death. You knew it'd happen eventually, but it wasn't something you dwelt on.

Mars and my own stupidity keep trying to kill me.

Mary shook her head, chastened at how little she understood the working of this odd place, where there were multitudes of servant dining rooms, and lords helped other lords with their underclothes.

Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.