Best 15707 quotes in «humor quotes» category

Don't let politeness interelfere with truth

Don't look at his groin. Don't look at his groin. Don't mention that he doesn't have a vagina, so 'we' is bullshit. This is not the time to mention your pet peeve about expectant fathers talking how 'we' are having a baby. Don't. Don't.

Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.

Don't let your girlfriend cut your hair!

Don't listen to those who say, you are taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most important, don't listen when the little voice of fear inside you rears its ugly head ...

Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you'll either get run over or shot!

Don't make me come down there. - God

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will.

Don’t mock my suggestions, Ridley – one day in the near future, they might just save your life.” Maxwell D. Kalist.

Don't mind her. She keeps her nose so high in the air, she's liable to drown in a good rainstorm.

Don't mess with my food -Luffy

Don't needlessly draw attention to yourself. If you're twerking on the beach, a circling pteracuda could mistake you for a wounded animal.

Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Someone opens the door. Do not panic. “Hi.” I’m smiling, but I find myself leaning awkwardly to my chair. Crap, I am panicked.

Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.

Don't Panic.

Dont ruin my balls!" She laughs as the words leave her mouth. Better yours than mine, chica." I toss the dough balls at her, one by one, until I've got none left.

Don't pick up hitchhikers!"- D. Adams

Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.

Don't Tase Me Bro! If I'm a cop, and I'm a brotha, and they let me have a taser? Sorry bro, I'm tasing you.

Don’t tell me that I can’t write a memoir just because I’m not world famous. I mean, when you really break it down I’m the most famous person currently sitting in my living room. The point is that I don’t like people telling me what I can’t do.

Don’t think you’re some kind of snowflake, suit guy. I’m a bitch to everyone.

Don't try to be something for everyone, just be everything for someone. Remain vulnerable. Because you very honest with yourself when you feel vulnerable. and this like self-awareness that comes out of that vulnerability is often very very helpful in your decisionmaking process. So, be vulnerable, remember where your priorities are and keep that in mind. And open your legs))

don't try to hate me or even judging my attitude anyway you are gonna fall in love.

Don't tell me you fell something for the little . . . oh.' The vampire blinked, then curled his lip back, disgust and pity crossing his sharp features. 'Oh, sister. Really? That's just sad.

Don’t tell me you have OCD about this?” “OCD, ADHD—pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I’d have it.

Don't think because you can't affect something at a great level that God can't use you in a great way. David didn't even train one day with the armies but He won the war. He didn't even have a weapon but he killed a giant.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Don’t tell me Kinshasa, the poorest city in the poorest country in the world, a place where the average per capita income is one goat bell, two bootleg Michael Jackson cassette tapes, and three sips of potable water per year, thinks we’re too poor to associate with.

Don't think about the writing process too much. Just do one thing: tell the motherfucking story.

Don't underestimate your own triumphs. Leave it to the enemy. # Krishn

Don't use your mommy ninja skills on me.

Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard... -George Foster

Don't worry about the bloodsucker,' Jacob suggested, and his tone was smug. 'He's just jealous.' 'Of course I am.' Edward's voice was velvet again, under control, a musical murmur in the darkness.

Don't worry. Chivalry has practically no appeal for me whatsoever. -- Neville Fletcher

Don’t worry,” he said, that grandfatherly smile spreading across his face once more, “I’ve been fishing for over forty years.  You’ve got plenty of time to catch up, maybe even pass what I’ve done.  You’re a perspicacious piscatorial pursuer, and I’m sure you’ll catch the big ones.

Don't worry about it. If I'm wrong, Security is monitoring me every second." "That just means they'll know who to charge with your murder," said Forrice. "Are you always this optimistic?" "I have to be an optimist," explained Forrice. "I won't have anyone to tease if they kill you.

Don't worry, boss,” HARV said. “I get the feeling that this is only the tip of the iceberg of complications.” “HARV, you’re a machine. You don’t get feelings.” “Would it make you feel better if I said I've done a numerical analysis on the probabilities and the results are skewed toward you having more problems with this case?

Don't worry. It's scientifically unlikely that the universe will explode into a million particles at any given moment.

Don't you ever think that maybe the reason behind why heroes are so dedicated to saving people is because they want to finish them off in the end? I mean, in that case, the villains should be the heroes and the heroes should be the villains so that the hero-villains won't be mistaken with the villain-heroes and the villains can be friends with the heroes. And the entire villain-hero and hero-villain world can be one big happy family. With me stuck in the middle.

“Don'’t worry."” Arriane stood next to Luce. “This place is like a reject revolving door. People come and go all the time because of some parole issue crazy parents whatever. Randy'’s off tonight. No one else gives a damn. If anyone gives you a second look— just give ’em a third one. Or send them over to me.”" She made a fist.

Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.

Don't you have a house to blow down?

Don’t worry, hero. If the vamp shows up, I’m here to protect you.” “Great, I can hide behind your massive ego.

Don’t worry, I’m not quitting. I’ve decided I’m going to stay and make his life a living hell while I run his business into the ground. --Kim to Abe

Don't you know that it is only the very foolish folk who talk sense all the time? (Anne)

Don't you oh well me,sir," Miss Maudie replied, recognizing Jem's fatalistic noises, "you are not old enough to appreciate what I said.

Don't you think 'Mark is kind of a weird name for a Shadowhunter?" Julian was saying as Emma approached. "I mean, if you really think about it. It's confusing. 'Put a Mark on me, Mark.

Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it

Dope guac," says some asshole, and I pick up a Dorito and shove it into the guac. There is nothing remarkable about this guac, about any guac, and California needs to calm the fuck down. They're just avocados. Guac is guac and while sometimes it's slimy and disgusting, it's never delicious.

Douglas’s fridge was a stainless-steel masterpiece. I’m not that into appliances or anything, but this one was nice and probably cost more than my last apartment. I had the strange desire to hug it every time I came into the kitchen.