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By AnonymMatt Groening
Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
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By AnonymMatt Groening
A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's got the best moustache in American history. Got the moustache, right, and he's got that little thing on his chin, I think it's called an imperial, that is, like, the coolest thing. That's like one of the great icons of the twentieth century.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?
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By AnonymMatt Groening
As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
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By AnonymMatt Groening
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling "Bart," and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Being a good embalmer is a thankless job.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism!
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns
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By AnonymMatt Groening
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Everybody is clever, just in their own ways
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
God often gives nuts to toothless people.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
Homer no function beer well without.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?
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By AnonymMatt Groening
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I also found child's play - stuff that was not considered serious, but goofy - was the stuff I liked to do, so I still do it as an adult.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books?
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I basically drew my own family. My father's name is Homer. My mother's name is Margaret. I have a sister Lisa and another sister Maggie, so I drew all of them. I was going to name the main character Matt, but I didn't think it would go over well in a pitch meeting, so I changed the name to Bart.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I grew up completely overwhelmed by TV, and part of the reason why I have gone into television is as a way to justify to myself all those wasted hours of watching TV as a kid. I can now look back and say, 'Oh, that was research.'
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I have less to do with 'The Simpsons' every season, but I stick my nose in here and there. Basically, it's just trying to keep the characters consistent and making sure the show has a soul.
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By AnonymMatt Groening
I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air.
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