Best 636 quotes in «satire quotes» category

When you trick somebody into participating in a small-time fraud, it's called a 'scam.' But when the scam is so big that people have no choice but to participate, it's called 'economics.

Where did you find construction guys swapping dirty jokes in proto-Númenorean?” Aura asked. “On construction sites. Is that coffee ready?

Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.

While the archetype of the tinker is generally the whipping person in classical bedtimes stories, this particular individual was a tinker by trade and just happened to be economically disadvantaged.

— Why did blondes vote for Clinton? — They didn't know how to read and thought she can make their life hilarious!

Why, on to the castle, to kill the royal family, and claim the throne that isn't mine by right!

Wiki also has a pseudoreligious aspect: it helps Internet users to give penance. For the droves of web addicts seeking to mortify their flesh after another sticky bout of D-listing, Perez Hilton, "12 Things to Do Before You're 25," "8 Reasons to Have a One-Night Stand," bath-salt hysteria, pressing "Like" buttons, or some other such nitwit distraction, Wikipedia is a Sunday-morning salve—for the lies, betrayals, and self-defeating debauchery which implicate each and every user of a computer, and for which we all feel shame, contempt, disgust, and chagrin.

Why was the meeting between the Americans and the Russians so tensed? Because nobody knows what Vladimir Put In Barbara’s Bush! From 'Walk On By II

With him big Phil from Notting Hill an old "face" from the sixties a pin up gangster with a "mars bar" weal scraping his left cheek and of course two "wag" slags in tow trussed up like French Poodles with "Bratz babe" stares and Gucci Handbags

Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won't mistake it for the genuine article.

You Are All You Need And You Know It

With regard to things such as independence, mental capabilities, and sexuality, a very old man is nothing but a gigantic infant with white hair and wrinkles.

Women, when they kill themselves, choose far more romantic methods - like slashing their wrists or taking an overdose of sleeping pills.Abandoned princesses and Hollywood actresses have provided numerous examples of this.

World opinion, though sharply divided on nuclear tests and the risk of atmospheric pollution, could congratulate itself on being united in its opposition to cannibalism. No country in the world was prepared to support the custom of eating the dead, though the right of governments to kill people, individually or by hundreds of thousands, was not questioned for a moment.

Yea” might be turned into “Nay” and vice versa if a sufficient quantity of wordage was applied to the matter. The second was that in any argument, the victor is always right, and the third that though the pen is mightier than the sword, the sword speaks louder and stronger at any given moment. - Roger Fenwick, Duke of Grand Fenwick

Yet there was something very mysterious about this stranger. Almost dangerous. He looked like a man who had sailed many distant seas, met many a stranger and knew many a secret. His expression was stoic. He had a hardened, faraway look in his eyes. The wind whistled like the Wild Western whispers of Fergus’s mythical lone prairies when he took the stage. He was The Man Without A Name.

Yeah sure, have a few sweets or a fizzy drink, but don't buy a bucket of pick and mix, an extra large sundae, and a vessel of chemically enhanced liquid, and then complain that we're not only making you fat, but we're robbing you blind as well!

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.

You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.

You are very fond of bending little minds; but where little minds belong to rich people in authority, I think they have a knack of swelling out, till they are quite as unmanageable as great ones.

You cannot force someone to believe something they do not believe; you can only manage to force them to speak or act as if they do.

You can't spell "parentry" without "try." Of course, you'll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make with your kids are the same ones your parents made with you. At least you know how those turn out.

You can't let these things eat you up every sing night. You can't keep resurrecting every morning to go back and take the same damage over again. You have to say, 'Today is the last day I will die for this,' You have to take control back from the things that will otherwise mean destruction for you.

You have a faculty for defining the simplest in terms of the grandiose, so that a poor devil like me can't understand it.

You didn’t make her sue you, even if you did punch her at that wedding.

You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

You know what people are doing on the other side of the world, what’s happening on another planet, but not what’s going on inside the person next to you.

Your toaster’s a puff.

You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.

Young Dr. Druthers had boasted of the fact that he was a proud and fine graduate of Slopoke Medical College in Slopoke County, somewhere on the border between North and South Carolina.

Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).

All the satires of the stage should be viewed without discomfort. They are public mirrors, where we are never to admit that we seeourselves; one admits to a fault when one is scandalized by its censure.

You stick a bunch of drunken murderers together, ain't long before some turn to thieving, then to lying, then to bad language, and pretty soon to sobriety, raising families and making an honest living.

You want to stay here and sleep your life away? That's it?" "If you knew what would make you happy, wouldn't you do it?" I asked her. "See, you do want to be happy. Then why did you tell me that being happy is dumb?" she asked. "You said that to me more than once." "Let me be dumb," I said, glugging the NyQuil. "You go be smart and tell me how great it is. I'll be here, hibernating." Reva rolled her eyes. "It's natural," I told her. "People used to hibernate all the time." "People never hibernated. Where are you getting this?" She could look really pathetic when she was outraged. She got up and stood there holding her stupid knockoff Kate Spade bag or whatever it was, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and crowned with a useless, plastic, tortoiseshell headband. She was always getting her hair blown out, her eyebrows waxed into thin, arched, parentheses, her fingernails painted various shades of pink and purple, as though all of this made her a wonderful person. "It's not up for discussion, Reva. This is what I'm doing. If you can't accept it, then you don't have to.

You wanna know why the world is f**ked? This is why, this is exactly why…right here. Get a pen, write this down, this is important…The world is f**ked up because I eat WonderBread preserved with formaldehyde that lasts three weeks and will never grow mold as long as it’s kept in its magic silver bag. The world is f**ked up because I know my cans of tuna have mercury in it. The world is f**ked up because I know my flake light tuna and WonderBread are poisonous, yet I still eat them!

A little wit and a great deal of ill-nature will furnish a man for satire; but the greatest instance of wit is to commend well.

All satire is blind to the forces liberated by decay. Which is why total decay has absorbed the forces of satire.

But the divinest poem, or the life of a great man, is the severest satire.... The greater the genius, the keener the edge of the satire.

Fools are my theme, let satire be my song.

Good satire hopefully provides thought-provoking conversation.

If there is a god, I think he has a sense of humour. He does not require human beings to protect him from satire.

I like the George Romero films, which were really great, social satire movies; really twisted.

If you're going to get into social criticism with absurdity and satire, you can't be politically correct when you do that.

I would play hooky from school and spend all day in the movie theaters. Consequently, I learned satire in all its subtle forms.

I never wanted to do political satire because it seems too surface to me.

I sometimes think humor and satire are more effective techniques for expressing social statements than direct comment.

It struck me that working digitally with a small crew, I could lay out a general plan for Famous and hope for mistakes which would create something more than satire and something less than truthful reality.

I've never been much drawn towards satire of any kind. I don't like that style whereby you kind of stitch people up. But the deeper thing is that I just find these people so impressive and admirable.

Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.